3 Yrs After Deployment...

[3rd ID]

Yeah missing children and a woman that you truly love... It's a testing time. My wife and daughter are my life just as your family is yours. Ill be praying for you. I don't force my beliefs on anyone else.... Just want you know that. Some people get truly mad about it. But anyway I hope everything works out for you.

 

[19K30]

You are definitely not alone hell I feel like the only hard ass unit I was apart off was my time with the 1st Infantry Division in Germany in the 90's. You always heard in every formation by different commanders "This is the best damn unit in the ARMY"---- Ya ok I'm calling bullshit but the Big Red One is no joke I was with them for 3 years and deployed twice while I was there. I am proud to have served with them and the rest of my career was just a blur of fat untrained non combat soldiers.
No mission to difficult No sacrifice to great Duty First.

 

[FishNH]

3rd ID, ill take any prayers I can get for the next few days...thank you

 

[3rd ID]

Well... Yeah I'm still praying for ya. Pray for me. Fell of the wagon today.

 

[FishNH]

Will do brother

 

[Friday]

You've probably made the link already... But if not:

One way of taking action / taking control is to accept all fault and personal responsibility for anything that goes wrong, ever. Alternatively, if I can't make it my "fault" (If it's my fault I can fix it), I make it harder. As an example, a divorce that totally wasn't my fault? (except I can make it my fault in .03 seconds flat, after all I chose to marry the lunatic, ie my fault) How can I add an element of control? Quit smoking. By making it worse, it gives me something to blame myself with, aka something to do about it. Not enough? Okay. Quit smoking and redo my kitchen. There. Total effing chaos I can actually stomp about and "fix".

Forehead. Drywall. Repeat. Gah.

If you're anything like me, be seriously careful of f*cking up your life on purpose just for the illusion of control. Cause, when I can catch myself at it, I can put that energy into something useful / healthy, instead of more self-destruct. The smoking and kitchen were on purpose that way. Ya don't even wanna know some of the things I've done before I realized that was what I was doing.

 

[dutchiedelta]

The things I destroyed to avoid facing previous destructions....
Not a pretty list.
If you can avoid it, go berserker on cleaning or clearing the shed.

 

[FishNH]

Well im still inpatient PTSD, so I haven't gone home in 2 weekends. Im hurting alot. I get a text from her the other day saying she's not sure if she wants a divorce...is it.f*cked up to say I still love her?

 

[dutchiedelta]

No my friend. It's not f*cked up to say you still love her.
There is precious little love in the world.
It's one of the few things worth fighting for.