@C j &
@intothelight :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
You know, I was thinking this morning, how I appreciate the kindnesses of the people here, the kind comments, the support, always & after yesterday.
And how I may be stupid, or viewed as stupid- it really doesn't matter. I
was stupid to trust, to give the benefit of the doubt, to forgive often things others wouldn't likely, someone I shouldn't have. Though I wonder if being vulnerable, trusting & stupid, is a lesser evil than stabbing your 'friend' in the back. Of course, he does not know of the kind of interactions the other person has had with me privately. 'Stupid' as I am however, I know from her comments she knows more about my issues, or has deduced as much, & the only person who knew about the issues to tell is him, other than if she knew to read it on here. Funny thing is though- she capitalizes on it, the opposite of kind. -Odd.
But ultimately what I know or even stupid me can deduce, is more than enough. He is still a bastard to do what he did, & so I guess it's a win-win for both of us to never have to see each other again. Angry & horrified at what he did or has done as I am, more than anything I feel sadness, shame, regret for trusting, disappointment. Shock he stabbed me in the back. Sad. I expected more, of him. Or 'less'. :cry:
So the stupid, crazy, wish-she-wasn't-here-better-off-dead Home Care girl is off to work to wipe the as*es of and provide a gentle touch & hugs & laughs & a wiling ear to the people who's own 'loving families' won't, though they line up with palms open.
Yes, stupid to trust.
Sorry for so many thoughts. I won't write more about it, it's all dead to me.
Thank you. Hugs to all, xox.
