5 Things I'm Thinking Today

[Recovery4Me]

1. Sitting in a memory fog with partial recall which is enough in the moment.

2. One of the maintenance personnel for the community, use to live in my same East coast town, base and is an retired Marine Gunner, so we enjoyed some lengthy story swapping. He had brought his golden retriever along named with Ghillie.;) Very cool.

3. I am physically exhausted from unpacking, sorting and still have lots to do.:cautious: I kinda wish I had less attachment to some of my items, so I could toss them out and make room. Donations, here we come!

4. How is it, that I can have a whole closet full of nothing to wear?:hilarious: However, I still can not find my shoes.

5. I forwarded my mail to the wrong address.:dead: First time for everything.:facepalm:

 

[trying2movefwd]

I am broke.
My cat was sick.
My cat is getting better.
I sometimes wish I were not.
Sometimes I am grateful that i am.

 

[Naoru]

Thank you @Junebug for the support the other day. I'm sorry I didn't get back to you sooner.:hug:
I've been sleeping for days. I probably should get up soon before I get fired. :sleep::coffee:
At least I'm finally getting some sleep... nightmare free, too! Bonus!
@Recovery4Me My closet is full, but I have nothing to wear, too! ... and I always keep a pair of flip flops around to solve the shoe dilemma. Lol What I'd give to go shopping stateside to solve these problems!
Hmm... Maybe that's what I need - a little more retail therapy and a little less talk therapy. ;)

 

[sedna]

I made the grave mistake of looking at peoples social media after accidently seeing my T look like his nuts are in a vicegrip in a condo advertisement.

I saw a facebook photo of a Qi Gong Master that cost me a $1000 last summer to wave his hands around like a loon impersonating a windmill and spouting gibberish while he gave me asthma with his incense.

That guy, aside from being vegan and gay and an ex addict, is in a photo sitting crosslegged on a purple pillow with a caption saying

" I've given up consumerism and the world of ' stuff', my soul is free and my burdens lighter "

OH HELLO!!!!

I thought his office smelled like chicken nuggets once.

I think this asshole is straight and eats cheeseburgers while he smokes opium, yep, thats what I think.

I just ate 630 calories worth of KitKat
bars :sour:

Ive been really pissed off all day its hot outside and Im having hot flashes. :(

 

[The ANP]

"What feels like 'less thoughts' are the absence of more fear, worry ."- @Junebug.

1. My mind is pretty quiet since my emotionally abusive ex partner child's father man left town last week. Spent so much time worrying about him and his constant disruption. I now have so much energy.

2. People don't understand women who stay in abusive relationships. They say, but you're so smart. Like that matters. They don't know that it's quiet and insidious. It creeps under your skin. Speaking up creates so much disruption that they train you to let it go. They put you down to where you feel wrong, worthless and degraded. The constant unlredictibility keeps you tired. It takes so much energy to leave. I left a year ago and it took 14 months for him to f*ck off and give me peace.

3. People remember high school fondly as a good time in life. I feel left out. I was a victim of group sexual assault, torture and attempted murder. It's a cultural norm to not report or prosecute high school offenders. Dismantle the Patriarchy!

4. Number 3 is a defining aspect of my life but is not EVER an appropriate conversation topic. Except in therapy which costs money. It costs money to tell this story.

5. I'm amazed at my own success. I didn't keep my promise of murdering these guys. I decided my life was worth more than that risk. The only reason they didn't kill me? It's easier to get away with rape than murder. They discussed it while I was tied up.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

@coco9 :(:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug: might be best to stay away from chocolate, caffeine and anything else that can affect your hormones.. :(

 

[Ronin]

1. I'm with @The ANP on Dismantle exclamation. Except my variant is about just dismantle so I will nap on it some more to figure how to not feel me.vs everything.
2. Wanna articulate more gawdammit I have so many feels reading all of you posts and want to comment and words and self doubt are like offa this tent.
3. T.E.Lawrence. Not useless. That sir was being productive when recovering. Heroes And Goals.
4. Grabbing more chocolate bars. If hunger ain't this push down feel, it's prolly hypoglycemia.
5. Thinking what someone dear said about monsters and another dear friend about blades and being trustworthy.

 

[sedna]

@coco9 :(:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug: might be best to stay away from chocolate, caffeine a...

I know, but its so hard! :(:hug:

 

[Deleted member 29920]

I know :( I miss chocolate..

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Relieved that Social Services is so close to me progress:)
Sad that I have a nail in one of my tires:eek:
Glad that another problem is going to be solved.:D
Relief that I have options:cautious:
Grateful that it rained last night.:wacky:

 

[Recovery4Me]

but is not EVER an appropriate conversation topic.

1) I understand as many of my stories collected throughout the years were muffled and I too paid in therapy to be heard. However, it is appropriate here within the board. I have used my diary with avengeance and was met with compassion + similiar accounts.

2) I stood up to a passive-aggressive bully today that reported me for smoking in my apartment. (I have not done so.) The manager called: I resolved it. Then I placed an invite to the neighbor to visit anytime "within my smoke free environment".:cool:
Bee-auch : best-back up from lying!

3) As well, I informed the manager (in an E-mail) that I invited her to visit in order for peace among my smoke-free environment. CYA (covered my arsh) for the neighbor's next move. :cautious: Plus I took a snapshot of the note.

4) We are not suppose to have animals. So, I included in the note that I loved her cat!:sneaky: Seriously- people in glass houses....

5) She took the note from her mailbox...but has not knocked yet. :whistling: Coward.:meh:

 

[BOAG]

1. "If I can't feel, I can't heal", so says my therapist.

2. Staying clean is harder. The alternative is harder.

3. Drones should deliver donuts. Mmmmm... donuts.

4. I feel like I lead a double life.

5. I freaking love air conditioning. It is the very best that the world has to offer.