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5 Things I'm Thinking Today

  • Post starter Post starter Deleted member 29920
  • Start date Start date
1) I can't seem to get healthy. I know the flu and bronchitis is a lot, especially when don't take time off work, but I'm still so freaking sick. Mostly the bronchitis. If I had health insurance I'd go back to the doctor
2) Allergies aren't helping
3) I made my bunny so happy today. It was unseasonably warm, so I let her romp on my porch. She loves that. While she was out there I deep cleaned her cage. It was overdue. And as always, I tried to add some fun new stuff. I love when she seems all alive
4) If the pup doesn't show up soon I'm going to go get her. I want to go to bed. Also, a bit worried about those raccoons I saw down the road. I know the rowdy one would alert me, but she's so flipping defenseless
5) I actually have a date for valentines day. I'm feeling a bit awkward which isn't the norm with us, but it's our first valentines since we moved from friendship to more. Awkward but looking forward to it.
 
I'm lonely, I miss conversations. I miss being in the company of someone who likes being in my company. Talking about ideas and life and what you love. Being in the presence of another human being and feeling an equal and kind connection.

I'm so damn sad feels like a bottomless put of sadness.

Still, feels better to be on my own and be myself than with abusive others who think they get to define you.

So utterly relieved to have found meditation. It's helping me get back in touch with joy and peace and the beauty in tge world helping me find some parts of myself I'd forgotten all about.

Glad I'm still alive, wonder what good stuff I'll discover :)
 
Wishing the hubby could shake that cough and fever. And I sure hope it doesn't settle in my biology.

Time to go check on the status of the hula hoops I delivered to a local outlet to sell. Nervous, anxious, excited, unprepared.

Also need to make more hoops in case they need more. Probably should do that before I visit them. Hmmmm....maybe I'll call. But it would look better if I went in person, I would imagine. But then I'll likely order food I shouldn't be ordering. UGH! Note to self: eat before you visit.

I often hope for company and discussion, too, until I try to have a few deep ones, even with folks I really like, then I'm quickly reminded why I hang by myself so often. And that saddens me deeply some days.

I'd wear my hair down more often if it weren't so damn frizzy and static. Winter time with the heat on makes it even more electric. Drives me crazy having it flying in my face.
 
I'm so damn sad feels like a bottomless put of sadness.

Sending gentle support your way

////

1) I am struggling so bad with the bronchitis/asthma. I'm not telling anyone in RL how bad it is, because I don't want to worry them. I know my boyfriend is already worried and he didn't see how bad I got last night. I was coughing so hard I couldn't stand at one point. I really thought I was going to have to dial 911. And the only reason I didn't throw up is my stomach was empty. At another point I wrenched my neck
2) I know I should go to the the doctor but I don't get medical insurance until march 1st. I worry though if it keeps going this way, I may end in the ER which would be even more expensive. It's another reason I'm not telling anyone, I know they'd tell me to go but .... money.
3) I do seem to have found a better combo of meds right now, and the tea my boyfriend suggested may also be helping
4) I need to learn to say no. I'm this sick but I just agreed to work on my days off. WTF? I don't know how I will do this. Maybe I reschedule the appointment to take the critters to the vet. That will give me a little more down time and it's just a check up/vaccines
5) 2017 has been rotten. I'm still dealing with the torn ligament in my thumb. It's healing, it's just slow. The doctor said 3 months for full healing and I know I make it hard because my job is so physical. I'm tired and worn down and stressed and I try to be positive and I'm not letting anyone see how bad things are.

ok... and since that was all so negative. I did have a nice valentines with my bf. that's my positive thought for today.
 
1. after all I did I only feel so worthless and so lost, like I didn't do anything in my entire life
2. it hurts again emotionally so much
3. and I was lucky today, the secret has remained safe
4. my therapy was hard, and I am a mess after it
5. all this stress around my bear life is spending my whole energy, I am with almost nothing left, and in pain, my back and the headache :(
 
1 Oh, life.
2 Thought I was doing better. T killed that !
3 @Tornadic Thoughts Have yo...

I use a dab of coconut oil or a leave-in conditioner made for me by a master herbalist friend when it gets too out of hand, but I tend to misjudge how much to use and go a little too overboard, then look like I need to wash my hair again. lol

I have thin straight hair, so I usually end up braiding it to one side or twist it and clip it, or do a pony tail bun-like thingy, but my scalp is super sensitive, as is my nose when it comes to hair (or any) products. Homey can't hang with artificial scents of any kind, and only a limited number of the essential oils and such. Hats and bandanas are my friends, too, if they're comfortable enough.

I went from being someone who had to have every hair in place and in full make-up from the time I was a teen until my late 30s, using ONLY Redken products, and likely damn near each one they made by the time I was done, getting perms on a regular basis, coloring it on a regular basis to now just letting it grow and do its own thing, which is apparently to recover from all that damage I put it through. The gray hairs are now my 'wisdom highlights', lol. It remains in a state of transition, along with the rest of me. But yeah, that heightened state of static frizziness in the winter months, especially, plucks my nerves.
 

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