7 Year Itch

[tho9900]

Angle you know I love your sick twisted ass to death... and no this is no offense not saying anyone here has it better...

ok... get pissed at me if you want...

There is a dual standard for us.. and my heart hurts cuz I know you saw worse in your own way that I saw.. and in my way I saw the same from a different angle..... but for me I can't comprehend your end too much.. some but no.. you won that right....

We medics have a dual standard... and man I am not gonna sugarcoat this shit and omg I should be in bed but had to reply and no no no no no don't mistake this for me being angry or cocky or otherwise...

wow... ok... we were expected to do things like look someone in the eye as died in our arms sometimes a few times a day.. and we knew their name and never forgot it even (however many yrs it has been for me. more than some here have been alive for now... I could put down prolly 100 names plus in a post more if I had time to think about it on people I lost) tell us stuff it down when we put all we had into bringing em back....

ok yall had the other end of it.. yall popped off when I was lead on the stretcher team getting one of yall back to the 53...

But we were told this is what you do... expect the 100s of death, deal with it stuff it down... if we wanted to shed a tear we were such a pussy...

Just as a medic if we "turn ourselves in" which is what it amounts to we failed our profession, we were a failure.. ok we didnt drop X number of combatants... didnt do whatever..

and again you know I admire you so pls be gentle on me.. pls...

ok for me... example... you mighta lost 2 to 10 people out of your platoon in a week.. I mighta spent 17 hours in the air getting 27 back out to the ship in the same week... or worse yet a long medevac which sucked seriously and only halfway joking but in air refueling in a chopper sucks bad...

When I went to the VA the dude that was interviewing me was an ex AF Vietnam medic... his words were he felt I was not eligible for psych care because "that was my job, how could I get PTSD or even have bad memories.. that was what I was trained to do"

and yes I keep saying this there is no offense to any ground pounder, tanker etc.. yall bastards had it worse in my eyes... some of yall feel diff... but ya.. recurring theme I feel yall had the hard end of it.. I just had to keep yall alive..

Our jobs is what put us here.. you did what you were trained to do we did too.. but ok maybe I havent heard it from yall but I even hear it the VA still suck it up that was your job to deal with the blood and guts and pieces you had to take with you in case they needed to be buried with them.. that was our job...

Angle... you know of all people I will never diss you but I also feel there is a double standard... and no we didnt have it worse.. dont have it worse.. until some f^cker tells me that was my job... how could I have an issue with it..

omg omg omg.. and no that was DEF not directed to you...

But ya... I have had the same thing.. u joined up to be a medic how can that shit f^ck with your head.... feel free to let loose on me pls... but I am not saying we had it easier.. in some ways ya.. but in some ways we had it harder too..

no calling the kettle black here. just a different shade of black..

Underlying this for us it was our job, lace your boots up tight and keep it going .. cuz we cant have a prob... it is our job...


Sorry for the long ass post.. but ya... I kinda understand what Dustin said...

 

[tho9900]

and ok maybe that didnt make any sense... but a long mental journey tonight... facing my own mortality

 

[Anglesachse]

Tho cocker.

None of us had it worse, none of us had it better. We all had our won shit pit to clear and that is exactly what we have all done.

I am by trade, or better said was by trade a REMF. My Whole Corp is none Frontline Troops. I have heard it all aswell. "You can`t have PTSD, you weren`t a Para, or LI, or whatever" Funny how it was my job to turn up on the front, no Armour save my own Helmet, to support the guys in the shit. Which I did on many occasions, and would do again if only the green machine would have me.

Bullets, Bombs and Shrapnel don`t care if you have Wings, carry a Med kit, supply water or shout Ho rah! We all run the gauntlet and take the risk. Some paid the ultimate price, some of us will pay for years to come with our sanity, and others we be left untouched.

You and I both know, you don`t have to be Front line to see sick shit.

I done my time as support, as a grunt on the front, as an MP sorting the chaos in the vacumm left behind even bagged and tagged more bodies and the remains thereof than I care to remember.

But like you said, even if you don`t like it yourself, It was our choice. Does that mean I can`t have PTSD? bollox! You, I and every one else on here made a choice and we all have the right to say "I have PTSD" (don`t realy want to to say I earnt it!)

And like you mentioned, there are arseholes out there who use the "But it was your job so you aren`t allowed to claim PTSD" to put us down. Usually from guys who don`t know what our job entailed. F*ck them!

And yes there are double standards. If people need them fine, "Go f*ck yourself" (them not you) is all I can say. But just because they are there, does that mean we should be using them? Does some dumb arse grunt who say`s "Hay, dickhead, it was your job" justify us doing the same in saying "Ah, but I hand to do this...., which makes it worse than yours"

Loosing another humans life in your hands is hard. I know. But are we realy going to go down the road of how hard it is taking another humans life, and compare the f*cking two to see which comes out on top?

That would be a discussion, that we realy don`t want let alone need here on the forum, or at anyother time with a Vet come to that.

We all done shit, we all saw shit, we all had a hard time.

Like I said, I assume Dustin didn`t mean it like it came over. But sitting their saying, any one person has it harder than all others is not only Insulting but also damn right out of line. It crosses that line in the sand to the otherside along with "My PTSD is worse than yours" which is guaranteed to earn anybody a smack in the mouth while on my watch.

And no offence taken cocker.

 

[tho9900]

cool... after I posted it one, I was like ok it was really late I should have went to bed... I guess I understood what Dustin was saying... and ya taking up for another medic... and ya not gonna argue who had it worse.. my mindset is yall did to be honest...

Just its ironic how medical people look at medical people who have a prob with what they said or did as total failures.... but I know we all get it....

Not gonna hijack this post anymore, I appreciate you listening and understanding it wasn't an attack in anyway... yayayaya maybe I got a little protective of a fellow medic lol... just I totally feel what he said... and at the same time know he needs to buck it up and get what help he can anyways...

Thanks!

 

[medic5]

I am a medic, I was trained to heal, but I had to kill or be killed. For me that is the hardest part. The powers that be tell you you are a non-combatant but yet we had to repell an attack while doing a humanitarn mission. Being from Montana as a little kid you learn to fire weapons and the majority of us are expert marksmen. So I know that those that I shot at went down. After it was over we had to go and attend to the attackers as well as the villiagers. Life in the military and after the military is tough for all of us.

I can understand where Dustin and Tho are coming from and I also understand where Angel is coming from. Each of the MOS or whatever acronm was used for your job classification are trained a little different and told a little different how to handle death and war. No one on this site has worst PTSD than anyone else. People just handle it differently.

PTSD is PTSD, we are all at different stages of dealing with our beasties. We have to stick together and support each other because the civvies and others sure don't.

 

[Dustin]

You misunderstood me man. I was not as clear as I should have been. It is not easier for you to go get help. It is just more difficult for medics to keep our issues out of everyone's business. All medics and docs have access to everyone's digital medical record and can go look at anytime. For example, an infantryman does not have to worry about his subordinated going into his medical records and see what he talked to his doc about. It deters medics from going to get help. I certainly do not think my PTSD is worse than anyone else's. I know you don't know me from Adam, but that is not my style. No one's experience is the same as anyone else's. It's like comparing apples and oranges. In this case, you have apples and I have oranges. They both suck in thier own special way. Hope there are no hard feelings.

 

[Tim Cake]

No offense taken on my perspective, Dustin!

 

[tho9900]

ya misunderstanding.... I got some issues that have my head all over the place right now (not PTSD related)... spoke too soon... shows what a good bunch we have here to work it out and at the end we realize we were kinda coming from similar angles..

 

[Anglesachse]

You misunderstood me man. ....................Hope there are no hard feelings.

I kinda thought that was what you were meaning but just couldn`t get my head to think down those lines because it came across different, or better said I understood it different.

So yeah no hard feelings cocker.

 

[tho9900]

I kinda thought that was what you were meaning but just couldn`t get my head to think down those lines because it came across different, or better said I understood it different.

Same for me to you Angle... no harm was intended in my post but I guess I couldn't see what you were saying the way I do now... all good and that's why I like it here... we deal with it and actually learn...

 

[Lee C]

Ahh the stigma, that "doesn't exist" ,,,,,my big red hairy balls!
Big drive at the mo in Brit army of "don't bottle it up" my experience is seniors don't want to know.
Be your self bud, pull up a chair here and ramble, we've all done it, and pick each other up

You need some cream for that mate !
That drive is there on paper but im a senior and still being discharged mate, its not just junior ranks :)
And welcome to the fold Dustin

 

[Squaddiedave]

Sorry mate, just speaking from my experience that's all, shouldn't of tarred all with the same brush.