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Hi. I obviously post little here. I did a somewhat brief inaugural post explaining the gist of my story back in April of 2014, but since I was not yet in therapy, I thought it was better not to post anymore, as any questions might really involve asking others here to substitute. Anyway, I did start therapy in 2015, which lasted a few months. That initial T didn't work out for me. It's been hard for me to find another one, since I am not in my home country and wish to use English. The other day, I finally connected with a nice fellow, a licensed psychiatrist, who was willing to put up with using Skype.
Somehow, I was able to compress into my first hour a great many things from early childhood until today, some involving family relations, some other traumas, some the results of major illnesses, accidents and misfortune that life can heap on anyone. It just kept coming, as this time around I really wanted to open up to my T.
The funny part is that I think he must have said OMG! about twenty times, raised his hands in the air often, once onto the top of his head in dismay. I really felt bad for the gentleman, it was so much all at once. Even my darling wife and I have never sat down and gone through the whole nine yards of her and my experiences (both with bad childhoods), together with other things that have happened to us until today, because we normally can't take it, either. Not that I was "letting him have it," in the sense that I wasn't ranting or shouting or anything like that, but holy cow! By the time we hung up, I could see he was exhausted. So now, I actually feel bad for my new therapist, poor fellow!
Of course, the inevitable welling up of all that pain was something else altogether, and like most reactions, hit me in a delayed fashion a few hours later. Someone please remind me not to be so good next time at digging it all up, wow. Apart from my own misery, I might have to add a therapist's heart attack to my already over-long list of woes. What would that do to me?
Somehow, I was able to compress into my first hour a great many things from early childhood until today, some involving family relations, some other traumas, some the results of major illnesses, accidents and misfortune that life can heap on anyone. It just kept coming, as this time around I really wanted to open up to my T.
The funny part is that I think he must have said OMG! about twenty times, raised his hands in the air often, once onto the top of his head in dismay. I really felt bad for the gentleman, it was so much all at once. Even my darling wife and I have never sat down and gone through the whole nine yards of her and my experiences (both with bad childhoods), together with other things that have happened to us until today, because we normally can't take it, either. Not that I was "letting him have it," in the sense that I wasn't ranting or shouting or anything like that, but holy cow! By the time we hung up, I could see he was exhausted. So now, I actually feel bad for my new therapist, poor fellow!
Of course, the inevitable welling up of all that pain was something else altogether, and like most reactions, hit me in a delayed fashion a few hours later. Someone please remind me not to be so good next time at digging it all up, wow. Apart from my own misery, I might have to add a therapist's heart attack to my already over-long list of woes. What would that do to me?
