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A Glimmer Of Hope...

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I dreamed that I was watching a man flay the skin off the face of a woman who was laying on a gurney. I found this mildly disturbing, so I spoke with my therapist about it. He reminded me that I was the man in the dream, and the woman on the gurney, and the observer. I was stripping away my facade. The subconscious mind is a beautiful thing...
 
I've had another breakthrough. This one I can credit directly to Superbetter, group therapy, and especially, the beautiful and generous souls here, who have become my tribe. I really do love you all.

Last night I dreamed that I was battling something evil - a zombie, maybe. That's unusual for me because in my dreams, the threat that I always face is human. But the breakthrough came when I realized that I wasn't fighting this monster alone. There were other people working with me to vanquish this beast, and that's what we did. Working together as a team, we won.

This is an incredible and life-changing mind shift for me! I can begin to believe that I'm not utterly alone in my struggles. It also affirms my desire to help others!
 
@Chimera Your avatar is so very symbolic of our struggles, and it inspires me.

We begin as a complete vessel. Then trauma either wears us down, weakening us bit by bit, or causes major hairline fractures that destroy our foundation. Then, the PTSD shatters us into shards. We either lay broken, or we work to put the pieces back together. I am discovering that as I slowly reattach the shards, the vessel is infinitely more beautiful than it was originally. I want everyone here to feel this way!
 
I know this is an old post, but I just have to say - THIS is what I've been hoping to find. Thank y...

Lilith, I promise you, if you take what your PTSD offers you, and work with it instead of fighting against it, you will find freedom. I believe that PTSD is our body's way of telling us to get this poison out!

I'm so glad you found us. If there's anything I can do to help you on your healing journey, just say the word. :hug:
 
I've made a surprising discovery. For the last few months, I've been trying to work on accepting what I hate about myself. So much to choose from, but the big ones have always been shame, self-loathing, and envy.

So anyway, as I was about to start my work, I couldn't find anything to hate about myself. Not anymore. It occurred to me that my ugly parts first came into being to protect me from being hurt by others a very long time ago. At some point, I would have learned more effective strategies to protect myself, but my body can't comprehend that. So it keeps trying to remind me that the more I value myself, the more vulnerable I become because I have farther to fall when someone kicks the chair out from under me.

When I look at it from this angle, I can only feel compassion for those sad, insecure parts of me. I can accept them, maybe even love them.

I must sound bat-shit crazy, but I think I'm going to run with this...
 
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I've made a surprising discovery. For the last few months, I've been trying to work on accepting w...
Have you read any of Brene Brown's work about shame and vulnerability? If not, you might be interested in it . . . really excellent stuff there. Definitely has the potential to change someone's (my) life.
 
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