A Hard Truth

[Supercd]

I find the continued "discussion" regarding Sea on this thread to be offensive.

IMHO, and I'm just putting this out there, I think it's ridiculous to think that any of us know what Sea's diagnosis is or what he is (or was) really experiencing. We're not Sea. And we're certainly not his therapist. Maybe he's got BPD. Maybe PTSD. Maybe he was psychotic. Whatever...we can guess, and we can use what information he's chosen to give us, but to talk about it like we know is just...not cool. The behavior is the same regardless of the diagnostic label - so please stop labeling it.

Agreed.

None of you are qualified to label or diagnose his behaviors as anything at all. Sea is diagnosed with PTSD, DID, BPD, TBI and psychosis.

All influence his behavior. He also have several brain injuries that mess his cause and effect thinking and impulse control.

He has been having a psychotic episode for at least a month. That is a fact; diagnosed by professionals.

Not BPD not PTSD not DID. He is not lucid.

Contributing his behavior to BPD is offensive to me because it says it is lucidity where he chooses to act that way fully and knowingly.

It is also offensive to me because no one here is qualified to contribute his behavior to anything at all.

Just because he is diagnosed with BPD means nothing. He is diagnosed with the cause of his legitimate behavior issues too.

He is not naturally this way. He always tries to apply insight to his behavior. He is less BPD than so many people because of his insight.

Most of his posts that dealt with BPD issues are always with admissions that they are issues. That is insight.

He always backs off when he RECOGNIZES he is having problems.

He did not recognize it because he has not the insight because he is having a break. It is so easy to just tell someone 'they have BPD' and they look irrational and that is just their personality.

Well he is now firmly in a state of psychosis. Which I know because I have spent the last two days with him!

I spent the last several weeks with him where he does not even make sense. I watched him decline since October. Get better then worse then a little better then worse again each time more.

It is not his personality. No one here knows him the way I do or they would see someone who tries so very hard to always do the right thing.

See the shift in his behavior over the beginning cycle from normal to this. That is not BPD or personality. It can be treated and managed but they won't help him.

Writing was the only time he could order his thoughts any. They sounded lucid sometimes and then other times they sounded disturbing.

The last few posts he made were made while he was hallucinating and disturbing.

As far as I can understand from what he says. Unfortunately I understand very little as he is not lucid!

I find it offensive. So I am asking you to stop.

Furthermore Sea has wanted help since the MOMENT he came here. Sea has ALWAYS wanted help.

That is not this forum's issue which I understand and comprehend banning as to preserve any disturbed members safety.

Which is fine but the implication that he is responsible for his own psychotic break because he does not want help? "People with PTSD can only be helped if they want it"?

Absolutely untrue. Falsehood.

Pardon me if I sound upset. It has been custom for me to take defensive positions for my husband. I am extremely protective of him and make no apologies for it.

 

[anthony]

Pardon me if I sound upset. It has been custom for me to take defensive positions for my husband. I am extremely protective of him and make no apologies for it.

Nobody is attacking Sea, nor are they diagnosing him.

You kind of nailed it with the above though, in that you probably should stay out of this thread due to your bias.

 

[Supercd]

Attributing behaviors in your opinion to any diagnoses is not an objective analysis.

The facts I delivered about his behavior are not bias, but his diagnosis. Attributions to his behavior should be limited to his diagnosing therapist informed us of when I contacted him.

Banning Sea based on his behavior that is fine. It is positively your right to do so if you feel it is necessary.

Attributing his behavior to anything is certainly not it falls into diagnosing Yes.

My opinion of this thread is based on my bias which is obviously in the best interest of my husband.

I have absolutely inserted my opinion where I felt it is warranted and in this case it is warranted as any discussion regarding my husband.

Because I have a vested interest in ensuring that opinions about his behavior are not misconstrued as fact aside from the objective diagnostic analysis of his behavior by the psychiatrist.

I told what I feel. I am happy to leave it at that. I will back out like you asked.

If you want I will contact you when he is stable and been in acceptable treatment to resolve the actual issues regarding his behavior.

 

[Nicolette]

If you want I will contact you when he is stable and been in acceptable treatment to resolve the actual issues regarding his behavior.

That sounds fair and reasonable Supercd.

 

[evergreen]

Supercd,

I understand you are upset and defensive of your husband. I just don't know if it is healthy for you to be concerned over what people on the forum have to say about the issue. We have no control over others' perceptions, and it pains me a bit to see you still worried over what people are saying here. Of course you love him and want people to see him through your eyes and understand his beauty. That makes sense. But please do consider not worrying over people's opinions here.

Lots of love and encouragement to you. xo

 

[SimplyComplex]

I am kind of horrified by this entire post. A) that someone would essentially call someone who isnt here out, using them as an example. and B) that an under-qualified quasi-expert would start sharing thoughts on diagnoses. Its just horrifying all around. And such a shame.

Sea is bright, interesting and has more to add to the conversation of PTSD then most. He is also ill right now. And I think he had done enough as part of the community to earn some space dignity and respect. Even if it meant banning, doing so in a way you would want to be treated if you were ill.

Personality disorders aren't the kiss of death. Many people here have PDs, I bet a whole bunch that don't even know it. But they are still humans. There are many people here, in real life, on other boards I just don't care for. It is up to me if I allow them to ruin my experience. It is also possible for me to limit my exposure to them.

 

[ClairBear226]

A) that someone would essentially call someone who isnt here out, using them as an example.

Can I ask, please, what you see from the original poster that is calling anyone out? Is it this? :

So although I really do feel sorry for Sea, I also understand the effect he may have been having for others on this Forum. The good of the many. Best of luck Sea, tomorrows a new day, never stop trying.

Or this? :

The thread really has nothing to do with Sea, it's more a statement that the rules are here for our own good, and those that are questioning those rules as a result of Sea being banned may be missing the point.

This?:

So although the thread is truely a result of what happened to Sea, it is by no means a comment on him.

Or maybe this?:

Sea is just the current event. Indeed he is in great need of help, and as I said in my post, I really do hope he gets that help.

I'm truly not seeing what you might be referring to, and was particularly offended by the following:

B) that an under-qualified quasi-expert would start sharing thoughts on diagnoses.

I saw nothing in anything Anthony wrote that makes me think he is offering a diagnosis. Although he may have answered questions on the diagnosis of bipolar disorder in a post where Sea's banning was discussed, he offered no diagnosis, just information. I find the comment "quasi-expert" belittleing, demeaning, and inappropriate.

When assuming an attack, it is often wise to consider whether or not there might have ever been intent to harm. This entire post was started to offer an explaination for why Anthony might have made an unpopular decision. The bottom line is, Anthony does have that preogative, and whether we agree or not, I think it is a fair statement to say that he does an excellant job of providing a peaceful venue for us to provide one another with support. He has the unenviable job of making difficult decisions that have their basis in having all of our backs. We owe it to him to do the same. He does not agree with everything we do or say, but provides us the ability to express ourselves, nonetheless. Zip offered a nicely worded opinion about that fact, and backed up a man that truly deserves our loyalty and respect. Those of you who use this board day in and day out, who reap it's benefits, who have found support on the really dark days, who have made friends who "get it" that you give and receive support from, might do well to remember the person that provides us with this place. The original post made that clear, but that intent has been lost along the way. Please allow the pink goose to serve that reminder.

 

[Supercd]

I just don't know if it is healthy for you to be concerned over what people on the forum have to say about the issue.

Personally I try to place as little stock in the internet as possible.

However my husband found a place on this forum where for one of the first times in his life he was able to make friends and speak openly without persecution.

I am concerned that he has lost one of the few supports he possessed. Aside from myself, it was actually the only support he possessed.

Which speaks to the magnitude impact of the forum on my husband.

So I posted with the hope that people could see Sea as a person who is currently ill on the spectrum of his illness and not someone who makes a habit of behaving erratically - and that is not part of his personality.

So that if he can return at some point, he is not judged.

 

[Shattered]

I think the point that Christine is trying to make is that we not use a specific person and their diagnosis, namely her husband, in our discussion or as an example in our discussion. It is one thing to talk with a person and quite another to talk about a person. Discussion of a person and/or their presumed diagnosis in absentia, at a minimum, is not kind. I would be horrified to find that a bunch of people on the forum were talking about me with such specificity as is being discussed here.

Discuss everything under the sun, but let's please don't name names.

 

[anthony]

Names are part of life... anyone who says they don't talk about people are a liar, because it is impossible to make any reference to something a person does without it eventually involving a name.

My name is used in this thread, good, bad and otherwise... that is life. That is the nature of being online.

Again, nobody is bashing Sea specifically. His name is purely used as the latest user who has been banned for personality affecting forum members to an extreme negative level.

Supercd... you can call it behaviour if you want, that is still personality. Doesn't matter which way you want to try and manipulate the wording... our personality attributes dictate our behaviour. Just ask the psychiatrist next when seeing your husband for such a confirmation. It all comes back to personality, thus in your husbands case, personality disorder at a severe spectrum along with psychosis (your words). They intertwine directly due to Sea's level of trauma severity.

You cannot use one without the other... the context is quite combined.

Again, nobody is berating or saying anything negative about your husband, so you may want to steer clear of this threads discussion because you cannot be impartial to it.