A Little Rant

[Cool Cat]

haven't been here in a while, trying to sorta 'fend for myself' in the big bad world.

But one thing that annoys me a lot is how people judge others on their success.

That someone who is having success at their work has good well being versus someone who is not. Neither is true, we are all vulnerable, we all need support.

When I was younger (still very young) I was involved with youth organisations who saw potential in me and gave me lots of support, in work and offered personal support even though I very very seldom took it due to trust issues. I think they knew more about me than I actually told them.

ANYWAYS, on my CV it would appear I have had a spectacular past two-three years. And in many ways, I have professionally. But anyone who knows me here will know they have been very difficult mentally and as soon as I left home my trauma hit me like a bus.

But the thing I hate the most, is as soon as I started to enjoy success at work, all the support from the youth orgs, and their encouragement completely dropped off. These supposedly non-judgemental organisations completely assume that I am in tip top mental state if I am achieving at work. This is not true.

I know plenty of family who are more traumatised than me that have very successful work lives and they could be coping terribly, but nobody asks.

 

[Go Hungry]

Well.. I don't know exactly how things are in France, but here in the US; a person's wealth is judged to be a measure of their worth... IE "wealthy people are good/poor people are bad." It follows that people who are doing well at work simply must have their shit together, and are not in need of consideration or help. Just a cultural thing I'm afraid. :poop:

Then again, these youth orgs that you were a part of.. Are they specifically designed for people of a certain age? If so, that could be a part of it. You might have exceeded the age of people they are designed to help, therefore they might be prohibited in some way from giving support like they used to.

Either way, I would suggest reaching out to people from other support groups. They are all over the place. You found one here, for instance.

 

[Cool Cat]

I'm actually UK based, but it's coming up as France. I use an IP blocker.

You are right, and like here it seems to be more about getting people to a certain level rather than individual potential.

Most of them go all the way up to 25, and I am only out of my teens. I am well within the age group.

Well I guess I do like support groups, but as in I also like things that are on the side of something else. Like youth orgs are unique in that they provide opportunities, friendship and support and encouragement. I think they feel that because I have fulfilled the whole achievement thing, that I do not need support, encouragement or other opportunities.

IT really doesn't help my absolute constant feelings of rejection either when I try to get back involved and they brush me off.

The non-judgemental BS is what annoys me the most tbh

 

[anonymous]

I was involved with youth organisations

What kind of youth organisations? What was their role in your life? Do you mean like mental health support groups or something more general?

all the support from the youth orgs, and their encouragement completely dropped off.

Do you mean that you were asking for their support and they said no, or is it that you just feel less supported by them now?

These supposedly non-judgemental organisations completely assume that I am in tip top mental state if I am achieving at work.

Have they said that to you? If so, what happened when you told them that was not the case? If not, then might you be making assumptions about them making assumptions?

This is not true.

Again, have you actually told them this?

 

[Intrepid]

I'm really good at hiding the symptoms of PTSD, so everyone thinks I'm fine when I'm not. I have a 5 year relationship with a therapist who saw me struggle with the worst of it, and I think she's the only one in my life who really understands.

My ex wife goes to a city mental health organization. When she got a job and pretty much found a stable place to live, she was pushed out. They only have resources for the worst of the worst.

I have to find resources where I can. I don't come on here often, but I ought to. This forum is the one place I can find people who I can relate to.

 

[Cool Cat]

What kind of youth organisations? What was their role in your life?

Do you mean that you were asking for their support and they said no, or is it that you just feel less supported by them now?

Have they said that to you? If so, what happened when you told them that was not the case?

They were youth orgs that did a lot of work on raising awareness on pretty much every issue affecting young people. They offered opportunities for you in your chosen area of interest and encouraged you to try new things. They coached you a little bit too.

Basically when I meet them now, before they would say "Hi! What's going on for you? how are you doing?"

Now they say stuff like "Oh hi! Youre doing X, Y, Z! That's so cool! You must be so happy! You're doing great" which makes it very hard in comparison to the other opening line to say "Actually, it's kinda hard"

I guess the other thing, like I went into a crisis after I started to do better at work, not before. If I contact them now trying to get involved again they say they are letting other people do it etc

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Based on your last reply, it seems like you're judging people for being happy for you.... What's wrong with someone being happy for your accomplishments?

I think you're reading too much into this stuff. I somehow doubt that these people think that if someone is doing well, they are "perfect"......rather, I think it is your black and white assumptions and mind reading that is causing this issue more than anything.

 

[Cool Cat]

it seems like you're judging people for being happy for you.... What's wrong with someone being happy for your accomplishments?

I disagree. Basically my issue is that I stopped getting support from people when I started doing well in work. But this was the very time when I needed the support the most (moving away from home and suddenly experiencing a lot of trauma symptoms) but people do not think I need it because I am doing well in work. As in, taking work as a barometer for well being. I've no problem with people being happy about anothers success, although I do have a problem with people assuming people who have a good worklife have good mental health aswell.