A Perk To Ptsd?

[Born to Run]

But personality is personality and symptoms are symptoms, how they work together is a different thing.

In developmental trauma identity and effects of abuse are highly integrated. If the trauma started early in life it is certainly an issue that certain personality/indentity traits that you think are you, may turn out to be adaptive parts of your personality. For certain people it may be very challenging to come out of trauma and literally have to find their own identity, as the trauma creeps around the tree of identity. It depends on the trauma and your resilience to discover the impact the trauma had on your identity. This will be in the later stages of therapy. Trauma therapists call it: events that become states, states that become traits.

 

[Born to Run]

These books are very optimistic about the good that can come from suffering trauma. I have not read them, but intend to do so.

Dead Link Removed

Starting where resiliency studies leave off, two psychologists explore the science of remarkable accomplishment in the wake of trauma, revealing the surprising principles that allow people to transform their lives and achieve extraordinary things...sometimes, survivors do more than bounce back. Sometimes they bounce forward.

Dead Link Removed

For the past twenty years, pioneering psychologist Stephen Joseph has worked with survivors of trauma. His studies have yielded a startling discovery: that a wide range of traumatic events—from illness, divorce, separation, assault, and bereavement to accidents, natural disasters, and terrorism—can act as catalysts for positive change...Drawing on the wisdom of ancient philosophers, the insights of evolutionary biologists, and the optimism of positive psychologists, What Doesn’t Kill Us reveals how all of us can navigate change and adversity— traumatic or otherwise—to find new meaning, purpose, and direction in life.

 

[PlainJane]

@enough Thats the catch. I never want to see anybody go through this. At times I find myself going to extremes trying to prevent things from happening to the people around me by means of hypervigilance. Sensitivity to the ticks and patterns of predators. If I can save someone from a grief or trauma by means of these newly acquired traits or what have you, then I guess I can call that a positive from our unwilling sacrifice of normalcy and peace to the PTSD demon. :) That sounded better in my head, I'll have you know.

@Born to Run That's helpful information to know for future reference. Finding one's identity can be a challenge, it has been for me. I really hope to find something worth while. You know what I mean?! Ooo I love references. Can't wait to get started. Thank You!

 

[Tinyflame]

Dear @Jane1991 , I think achieving a state of resilience includes throwing off listening to judgment or condemnation of others who really aren't informed about ptsd at all, or our own individual circumstances, & also not allowing surrounding ourselves with the same. I learned today that it is quite right to do that. Because I see that the more I follow along those thoughts, the crazier I think & the worse my behaviour. For example the SI above, well I was just coping my best with ptsd, things snowballed. Now, odds are we will hear direct or indirect references to that means we're 'nuts', but the truth is, 30 years later I never did it again. The more I listen to others who speak like that the worse & more ashamed & burdensome I feel, & then my thinking goes downhill. Like you hear comments that SI is both crazy & selfish. (Not that it can't be but then it followed for me if done before then I must be both etc, which made me feel more ashamed & more like a burden which led to increased SI. The suffering I can try to contend with, 'burdensomeness' I cannot). In a way I could never defend myself, even from my own thoughts arising from shame based on both societal misinformation or judgement, from others & then myself.

And I learned we're supposed to protect our heart. Somewhere, not being honest whenever asked (even if only in my thoughts & kept to myself) resulted in disclosure to the very people I never should have +/or much self-blame & self-rejection because I never knew (or felt) that it really is/ was the past & there are ways (& the right to) refuse to be drawn in to such conversations & thoughts. (That also reduces fear.)

We have a real gift given to start new, each one of us. No, we can't just 'get over it', but it IS the past, it's a long time ago, we are defined by more than it. Don't let it influence you negatively if others can not see you in another way, or make uninformed generalizations. :hug:

Also, some people really (really) don't 'get' some things. And like the reference above with the cell phone, that is a "First World" problem. Again, one can be gentle but just recognize it's not going to connect with them.

Dear @Berlinda , I think the only thing that assists healing that comes from relationships is when or if the other person is kind, genuine, wise & sincere (if you are the same). I realized today when good people understand, they won't condemn you or shame you. Also a person who is genuine & understands will see the future or present, not solely the past. They won't define you by the past, even if all you've done is define yourself (or allowed others) to define you that way.

When we don't we are free to live new in the present without that grief & self-condemnation & burden. :)

I have viewed myself so awfully for so many years. No matter what the past held we not only can start again but rather we 'are' new. It is a reality that we are not who we were, & we can also stop struggling & fighting to survive because it is over. We have something much better this very minute. :) :hug:

 

[PlainJane]

@Junebug I agree, it can be hard to get it through my thick skull sometimes. You're right we should not allow outside voices to dictate how we feel. Especially when they have no right because of their ignorance to the subject. I can defiantly see the self destructive pattern in myself, constantly being in subjection to the negative influences around me. That's definatley a valuable lesson for anybody

I hope this doesn't come out negative, I am hoping for realistic. This disorder, my memories and experiences, influence me negatively. I'd be causing more damage to myself by denying it. But I am determined to make it to the point where it will not be the only thing that defines who I am :) I appreciate your positive, kind encouragement and sharing what you've learned in your journey.

 

[Tinyflame]

Hugs to you @Jane1991 . :hug:

It came to me today like this; ptsd is like an allergy to tuna. No one speaks of it much, or is necessarily familiar. If I eat tuna, I'll react (so avoid triggers or things that worsen it). If it's in a recipe or a food in a restaurant & I don't know about it I might react at the most inopportune time, in public. Maybe even badly, like ending up with anaphylactic shock. (But we wouldn't blame ourselves for an allergy, or think trying harder will cure it, or if we ignored it we won't have symptoms, or we're making 'too big a deal out of it', or we're damaged or broken beyond repair).

But all of that is separate from self-hatred, self-condemnation, & the fear & hopelessness etc that comes with it. If we can take it for what it is, & not add on things like that the burden is significantly less. :)

I think balancing vulnerability only with safe people will help me a lot.

Best wishes @Jane1991 .

 

[greenleaf]

I don't tend to view the outcomes as personality traits, personally; I think of them as learned skills that most could learn, but anyhow... general empathy, ability to acknowledge that horrible things happen to people, some understanding that I might not be able to really understand another's experience but that being respectful of that in dealings with them might help them.

Also, my world view is really influenced by all the denial I saw in the people I grew up around; I now see a lot of possible effects of denial in people around me with regards to terrifying things like sociopaths in positions of power over powerful nations, climate change and such. I guess my cognitive part tries its best to match reality independent of my emotions, where threats are concerned, which has a lot of value I believe. (It doesn't have as good a track record of seeing safety, working on that... then there are the emotions, not even going there at the moment...:whistling:)

 

[ihateusernames]

This is an interesting thread. I just skimmed the responses (I'm in the middle of cleaning my house and the computer drew me in...), but there were a lot of things that really resonated with me. I can't help but connect a lot of my "stuff" with my past. Introspection, empathy; huge one, adaptability is also a big one (on top of going through some crap stuff I was also an army brat, moved constantly), flexibility, open-mindedness, even a lot of critical thinking. The ability to survive unpleasant situations, spend time alone comfortably, think before I speak (although often the words never make it out).

I don't know which traits actually come from where, but that is how I've always preferred to view it. Silver lining, y'know.

Lemme add this, too, I can't imagine he'd be offended by my mentioning it. My husband sees things very much the same way.

Sometimes, though, I wonder if we're just full of ourselves instead. HAHA

 

[PlainJane]

@greenleaf Definately learned skills

@ihateusernames Lol, I wonder that a lot myself ;)