Jeremy1324
New Here
Hi everyone,
My name is Jeremy, I'm 20 years old and was diagnosed with PTSD in 2008. In 2005 on fathers day, my dad committed suicide. I was 12 at the time and I don't remember much, just the basics. He overdosed on his prescription pills (methadone), wrote notes, and got back in bed. In my mind, I brought the PTSD upon myself due to the fact that while everyone else was dealing with calling 911 and being downstairs, I was left upstairs with him. I sat down on the floor and held his hand. I didn't cry, I didn't react. I just sat there, looked at him and held his hand, which to this day I can remember the feeling of it getting colder.
For about three years everything was alright. I continued at school, albeit my grades going from A/B's to D/F's. But I kept moving on, until I "snapped" in 2008 in high school. Everything hit me, everything that I seem to have held in for three years just started coming alive. I was withdrawn from public school and switched to homeschooling. I never finished high school, more on that later though. I Started seeing multiple therapists, all diagnosing me with delayed onset-PTSD, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, etc... Multiple forms of medications were tried and tested. We're still switching it up to this day. I'm primarily on viibryd (40mg) now.
Lately I feel like I've been getting a handle on it I guess. I chose to go back and finish high school. I'm in a public high school setting which in my opinion has helped me so much. But, I still feel like somethings aren't right...I don't know how that sounds or if you can make sense of it. It's 2am and I couldn't stop crying so I found this website and had to share. I feel like I'm doing everything right one minute and the next I'm off in some other universe not caring.
Sorry if that was a long read. It's hard for me not to go into so much detail when I talk about this. And apologizes also if it's all over the place, again it's 2am. :sleep:
Thanks,
Jeremy
My name is Jeremy, I'm 20 years old and was diagnosed with PTSD in 2008. In 2005 on fathers day, my dad committed suicide. I was 12 at the time and I don't remember much, just the basics. He overdosed on his prescription pills (methadone), wrote notes, and got back in bed. In my mind, I brought the PTSD upon myself due to the fact that while everyone else was dealing with calling 911 and being downstairs, I was left upstairs with him. I sat down on the floor and held his hand. I didn't cry, I didn't react. I just sat there, looked at him and held his hand, which to this day I can remember the feeling of it getting colder.
For about three years everything was alright. I continued at school, albeit my grades going from A/B's to D/F's. But I kept moving on, until I "snapped" in 2008 in high school. Everything hit me, everything that I seem to have held in for three years just started coming alive. I was withdrawn from public school and switched to homeschooling. I never finished high school, more on that later though. I Started seeing multiple therapists, all diagnosing me with delayed onset-PTSD, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, etc... Multiple forms of medications were tried and tested. We're still switching it up to this day. I'm primarily on viibryd (40mg) now.
Lately I feel like I've been getting a handle on it I guess. I chose to go back and finish high school. I'm in a public high school setting which in my opinion has helped me so much. But, I still feel like somethings aren't right...I don't know how that sounds or if you can make sense of it. It's 2am and I couldn't stop crying so I found this website and had to share. I feel like I'm doing everything right one minute and the next I'm off in some other universe not caring.
Sorry if that was a long read. It's hard for me not to go into so much detail when I talk about this. And apologizes also if it's all over the place, again it's 2am. :sleep:
Thanks,
Jeremy
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