A Suicide Pact...

[xena21]

The only person I can really relate to in the world is this person who spent 6 months in a state hospital with me for childhood sexual abuse. We both should never have been there, but didn't have the money to pay for private care. We got lost in the state system and that's a long miserable story. The place was as bad as the movies depict. Tying you down, injecting you with drugs, blood, urine and feces everywhere. Not to mention the fear of being surrounded by the abusers that had done the same things to us we feared. It was a true nightmare.

Anyway, this girl is someone I can really understand but the other night she asked me to enter a suicide pact with her. I actually thought about it for a minute. Has anyone ever had that happen to them? I was concerned for her safety, but then again I knew I couldn't send her back to a hospital, so I talked to her for a while. Hospitals are more scary then the world we live in. We would both rather die than go back to a hospital so I understood that calling someone was worse than just talking to her. I would want the same from someone I knew...yet I don't think I would ask for a suicide pact.

 

[anthony]

I think you did the right thing then... because if her going back to hospital will do more damage to her than good, then you are probably better to roll the dice by being there as her friend, hoping she doesn't go through with it, than betraying her so she can't trust you.

Well done I say.

 

[xena21]

Thanks for the support. I was unsure I did the right thing. I knew the hospital would have been more traumatizing, but you know how therapists always stress calling them when people talk about suicide. I appreciate the support and I heard from her today. She is still down, but she is with us and doing her best.

 

[TimeToHeal]

I agree with Anthony. And I relate to traumatic treatment at the hands of hospitals that were supposed to be helping. You won't find me voluntarily in a locked unit every again. Even my therapist agrees that it would likely do now harm than good.

I say all of this in support of your decision not to call anyone and to just be there to talk and listen to your friend when she needed you. I'm glad she is still here and hope she continues to reach out. She's lucky to have you as a friend.

 

[NovemberStar]

Does she see anyone for therapy? As a friend you can encourage her to talk to her T or someone who can help her through this rough time. Tell her you don't want her to take her life - ask her to imagine how she would feel if you took your life and she was left to deal with the pieces.

I understand how when you feel suicidal it doesn't matter - the impact on those left behind BUT telling her anyway, and letting her know how much you can and don't want her to hue herself - those words just might be what resonates with her when really needed, you know?

I feel mixed about you not saying anything to anyone - maybe she is telling you because she wants someone to know how baad she is feeling and someone to show her how important her life is - I really hope you can talk with her to encourage her to talk to her T, even offer to go with her.It won't necessarily result in her being hospitalized -it might just be enough for now, for her to have her pain and suicidal feelings acknowledged and validated. I know that's what helps me when I'm feeling that way.

Also - due to her previous awful experiences with being hospitalized - and her ongoing struggle with feeling depressed / suicidal - her telling someone in her treatment team might just be the prod needed to come up with an effective safety plan - what she CAN do when feeling that way.

I really hope she can reach out - she definitely needs a better plan in terms of where she can turn in times of feeling at risk.