General A Whole New Level

[Stacey85]

Last night my husband mentioned "I thought about blowing my brains out... Then I thought about what it would do to you and the kids, and if you'd even care"

I had a nervous breakdown. I couldn't breathe for a minute. It's like something just sucked the life out of me. This holiday season was supposed to be happy, since he was deployed last year, but life has been a nightmare lately. I don't know how much longer I can hold on. I feel like everything I have to give is just gone. Sometimes I feel so dead. Sometimes I cry and cry and cry, and sometimes I'm just flat out angry. Angry that we have to deal with this. That the Army has taken everything from our family. War has taken everything from our family.

My husband is still in Afghanistan. His body is here, but it's an empty shell. Everyone else got their happily ever after when our guys came home, and we got a nightmare. I miss my husband :(

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[Joslyn]

((Stacey)) My heart goes out to you. It sounds like your guy really needs some help and I know that is just my opinion based on what you shared. You can only do so much, dear :( I am sure it must feel like a nightmare. How fragile you and your husband are right now. Please remember, if you ever feel he is a danger to himself or others you need to pick up that phone. there are a lot of programs for the fellas coming home, most of whom are dealing with PTSD and other mental disabilities. He may find comfort in knowing he is not alone with his thoughts and terrors. As for you and your family, you come first!! You are being very brave I know, just know you are not alone and neither is he. Once he gets into some supportive therapy thing, you may start to see a difference. Until then, stay safe. I just had to share my opinion. You love him and he can make it back. Many of us have. It takes work, but we can make it back and be whole again.

 

[Eleanor]

Oh Stacey - I am utterly sorry that you two are in this. :cry:. Please please please know that you are not even a little bit alone. Especially with combat PTSD. It just appears that you are because everyone hides it. And it doesn't do a particle of good to hide it so Hurrah for you for coming here! There is still a happily ever after out there - it is just not where you thought it was going to be....

10% of Canadian forces coming back have PTSD - and they aren't pulling the hot combat duty that the US forces do. Professional estimates for US forces are 20-60%. You are NOT alone. There IS help. Here is a super good place to start to find it.

Wishing you and your family peace and healing...