Aack... What Do I Do?

[sun seeker]

I just found out that it is very likely that my main childhood abuser will be moving to my town in the very near future. It's a small town and there is no way we wouldn't run into each other. Frequently, in fact.

I've made so much progress separating myself energetically and emotionally from this person. Now I feel like they're being shoved down my throat.

I have a sense of unreality and feel like I've swallowed an ice cube.

Besides continuing to work on this in therapy... what the hell do I do now??

 

[hodge]

:eek:!! Move to a nearby town? I know, it's not right to think that you should have to move, but if you want to avoid them, I don't see any other option. And who doesn't want to avoid an abuser? Ack! Ack! Ack! I really feel for you.

 

[sun seeker]

Move to a nearby town?

I'm not discounting that, but it's a huge step.

I'm deliberately keeping this vague, but it's very likely I would not only see this person from across the street, which is bad enough, but that, our respective needs and patterns being what they are, we would run into each other with some frequency.

Shock. I don't know what to say.

 

[sun seeker]

I know this isn't real... or at least, I sort of know that... but I've had to work SO hard to get this person out of my life both in a practical sense and in the sense of them running my whole psyche, that it feels like I was making too much progress at independence and now this is retaliation for daring to think I could have independence. Like they're saying "ha ha... TOLD you you could never get away from me!"

 

[hodge]

I know moving is a huge, huge step. Hubby likes to say that moving is what they do in hell. So, believe me, I know how horrible that would be. I guess if I were in your shoes, I would really think about it, though. Personally, I think I'd rather move than see an abuser whenever. And I hate moving. Hate, hate, hate it!

Sounds like you need some time to get over the shock. Sending big :hug:s if that's okay.

 

[hodge]

I would be mortified if I were in your situation. I am so, so sorry for what you're having to deal with.

As I just said, give yourself some time. Maybe you've become stronger than you think. Maybe you can even come up with strong, self-empowering ways to be when you encounter them? So glad you're in therapy.

 

[sun seeker]

Thanks @hodge. I appreciate the hugs.

 

[sun seeker]

Maybe you can even come up with strong, self-empowering ways to be when you encounter them?

Yes, that's what I'm thinking. This is really what they call trial by fire though.

Good thing I get to see my therapist soon. We'll have lots to work on.

 

[hodge]

I know what you mean. That's a good attitude. I live in a small town too, now, and I can't imagine how many people have to deal with this around here, because plenty of abuse happens everywhere, and I personally know of many instances here.

 

[sun seeker]

I feel like there is a very heavy wet blanket covering me from head to toe. Like I should just lay my head down right here on my computer and give up.

When will I ever be free? :banghead: :arghh;:nailbiting:

 

[hodge]

I don't know what time zone you're in, but maybe a warm dry bed would help? It's only 8:15 p.m. here and I'm about ready to go to bed.

 

[Mytime]

Throw all the shit back at him. Let him know how much of a discuss he is to you. Show him you know his truth. Show him your power and how he no long has it. He'll be the one avoiding you. Show him the mirror.
Sending hugs :)