Abusive Father Controlling Me, I Need A Way Out And Help

[Tashaclay18]

Hi all,

So I've been working so so so hard for the past two years in college, in that time I've dealt with a severe abusive relationship, an abusive controlling father, no family, a dying mother, bad money troubles, pregnancy and almost no support of anyone.. I don't want to go into details of any of that, i'm trying to forget but let's just say I've been through it all and got out with very high grades. I done all of that so that I could make a better life for myself and one day a family and for now, to get out of my house and this situation.. Throughout college, my dad made it so so so incredibly hard for me to even go to college let alone get good grades and now because I've got them, he knows I can move out and go to university therefore that would leave him with no one to control or abuse and he'd be lonely so he's doing all he can to stop me. To begin with, he was proud of me well that's how it seemed, he gave me money so I could get essentials for my flat but now he's suddenly changed back into this cold, bitter, heartless, selfish, controlling man that refuses to give me anything. I honestly wouldn't moan if he had let me get a job but he never did, in fact I'd have to go behind his back to get one, he found out both times i did and screamed at me and was really emotionally abusive for days after, so I gave up trying to get one. I suppose he didn't want me to get a job because he wanted full control over me, he knew I couldn't do anything without money..
i'm now totally stuck, i have no family or friends that are able to give me money. I don't know what to do but I have to go to uni, I've worked so so hard for this, I cannot stay here most importantly..
Can anyone give me advice? I'm not this kind of person by far but i'm honestly considering just sending photos and vids of myself to get money...

 

[rosey]

Can you get a scholarship of any sort or student loans to get you to university in the first place then find a job from there.

You sound like an amazing person and believe me there will be a way out some where. I was in a similar position when i was young got to uni then job family etc it is possible dont give up hope

 

[Tashaclay18]

I've got a loan but won't get that before uni and need to pay for booking fee and first weeks food as I don't get the loan until my second week there, ridiculous really.. Thank you, it's just so so hard, I feel like all of this is just signs I'm really not meant to go to uni, it's just one thing after the other and it's so hard to take x

 

[rosey]

I've got a loan but won't get that before uni and need to pay for booking fee and first weeks food...

It is really hard. I take it you have the uni place if so contact the uni they have hardship funds and bridging loans available that are aimed at helping people in your situation. Trust me they will do everything they can to help you.

Also they have good student support services like free counselling when you get there which i feel would benefit you.

 

[rosey]

Google university hardship funds i couldnt put link on here but the gov sight has some info.

 

[Freedomfighter]

My dad attempted to do the same thing, while my poor mom was dying, can you imagine that?

You have to cut the cord and fast. Go to your uni and embrace your future, ask them how a student can study while making money at the same time. Many Universities have programs that not only give their students financial aid but also have employment opportunities for such students while they are at their school.

Do not tell your dad anything: do not tell him where you will live, do not tell him anything about what classes you are taking. He sounds like a very dangerous man. My dad was just like that, so pathetic, ready to steal my future so that he could have somebody that wipes his behind, AFTER knowingly abusing me as a child.

Someone like that does not stop until you stop them.

You will only have a future if you cut him totally out of your life. I did that with my dad, and I know I would not have a future otherwise.