Accepting That You Have A Ptsd Personality

[woundedsoul]

Wow Sky Heart, that is an incredible life story. So sorry for all of your suffering.

 

[woundedsoul]

I wish that we could be friends now now that most of them are responsible. At the end of the day though, they are just Hedonists. When my dad died, that hedonist side of me started to disappear. I miss that side of me because I was a hedonist, but still caring.

You've identified yourself as one being strongly identified with and liking being hedonistic. You now miss being a hedonist, albeit, a caring one. So you've identified a sense of loss of identity which occurred when your father died.

I think that drugs have ruined my life even though I didn't do any of them.

Yes, because they also caused a loss of close, family ties, to which you felt disappointment and loss and suffering.

<Edited quotes for clarity, as per your next message. If you need help with quoting, please view the video located here: [DLMURL]https://www.ptsdforum.org/c/threads/how-to-quoting.14329/[/DLMURL] And, you can practice quoting posts in the Testing forum here: [DLMURL]https://www.ptsdforum.org/c/forums/testing.34/[/DLMURL] >

 

[woundedsoul]

The above post was supposed to show the quoting parts of your conversation thinking man, but it didn't work, i made a mistake trying to cut and paste only certain parts of your post. sorry if it is confusing as a result.

 

[Thinkingman85]

Stay strong, Skyheart. This forum is supportive.

I agree there is a lot of mental pain associated with coming to terms with the traumas that assaulted your sense of well-being and safety.

My mental pain feels like it is physically damaging, like a headache. I have to find a way to be able to handle this pain.

It sounds like you have developed a coping mechanism and gain strength from samurai. I know very little about it, other than the Tom Cruise movie I saw advertisments from. Do you practice it?

I have a samurai mindset... Live as if you are dead. Yes, I practice it... the style is called Iaido

 

[woundedsoul]

I don't understand the live as if you are dead part...completely contradictory, are they not? ptsd can manifest itself physically i understand, such as the headache you mention.

 

[Thinkingman85]

“This is the substance of the Way of the Samurai: if by setting one's heart right every morning and evening, one is able to live as though his body were already dead, he gains freedom in the Way.
his whole life will be without blame, and he will succeed in his calling.” - Yamamoto Tsunemoto

 

[woundedsoul]

Gains freedom from what? Knowing your physical body will die?



<Edited to capitalize first word in sentences>

Nevermind. Silly question. I know it goes much deeper than that. To each his own. I live my life trying not to hurt other's and live morally and ethically. That's all I know.

 

[Chincho]

I was happy to finally have a label for what was happening to me, for what I am. As soon as I was diagnosed I started reading about it and it fits me like a glove.

I have no problem talking about it, but it does make me angry when people dismiss it as if it was a backpack I could take off anytime. They don't pretend people with broken legs to run races, so I don't understand why they think we can just leave the PTSD aside "for a while".

 

[Martin Taylor]

me too.