That's actually the official term for what happens when a child is chronically abused by someone they live with, usually in a situation they can't escape from. It's fairly common for the child to acquiesce to the abuse, to co-operate with the abuser.
For me this is somewhat raked ground.
My dad's portion of the sexual abuse started out really violently. Mom went to work at 10 Pm, her shift at the hospital started at 11.
He'd drag us upstairs, throw us face down on the bed, and rape us. Toby came out for those. Toby's a boy, he doesn't want girl parts. He remembers biting the mattress because dad would hit us if we made any hurt noises. Dad would throw us out when done.
...So we had nightmares. Woke up screaming. Eventually we went to dad's bed because he was the only one there.
Dad took this as...well, encouragement? It was then that he began to deliberately turn us on, he'd stimulate us. Pottymouth came out and took over the night dad performed oral sex on us and forced us to orgasm. I ( the front ) could not handle something that felt so good and so disgusting at the same time.
Dad liked making the body have orgasms.
...I never got touch or affection in a nice normal way from dad...outside those two years. Ever.
So I went to dad and hated myself for not being strong enough to stay away. I later co-operated with Jerry, the guy who rented me...and the two parties I have remembered so far? Not like I had a choice, really, but I was well-conditioned. I accommodated. I was really too ashamed to do otherwise. I was horrified at the thought of someone seeing me, because I clearly was enjoying the abuse.
The kid from school I was abused with? I was sure he thought I wanted it, so the shame was right alongside the horror at what they did to him.
I have had spontaneous orgasms when getting back repressed memories. I get physically turned on. This is really disgusting. I didn't want it then. I don't want it now. It's like being puppetted.
For me this is somewhat raked ground.
My dad's portion of the sexual abuse started out really violently. Mom went to work at 10 Pm, her shift at the hospital started at 11.
He'd drag us upstairs, throw us face down on the bed, and rape us. Toby came out for those. Toby's a boy, he doesn't want girl parts. He remembers biting the mattress because dad would hit us if we made any hurt noises. Dad would throw us out when done.
...So we had nightmares. Woke up screaming. Eventually we went to dad's bed because he was the only one there.
Dad took this as...well, encouragement? It was then that he began to deliberately turn us on, he'd stimulate us. Pottymouth came out and took over the night dad performed oral sex on us and forced us to orgasm. I ( the front ) could not handle something that felt so good and so disgusting at the same time.
Dad liked making the body have orgasms.
...I never got touch or affection in a nice normal way from dad...outside those two years. Ever.
So I went to dad and hated myself for not being strong enough to stay away. I later co-operated with Jerry, the guy who rented me...and the two parties I have remembered so far? Not like I had a choice, really, but I was well-conditioned. I accommodated. I was really too ashamed to do otherwise. I was horrified at the thought of someone seeing me, because I clearly was enjoying the abuse.
The kid from school I was abused with? I was sure he thought I wanted it, so the shame was right alongside the horror at what they did to him.
I have had spontaneous orgasms when getting back repressed memories. I get physically turned on. This is really disgusting. I didn't want it then. I don't want it now. It's like being puppetted.
