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Heather
Diamond Member
Had really rough day and my friend invited me over last night to talk. We went for a walk by the beach and really bonded.
Her husband came home and totally made my day....he is to funny.
Her husband came home and totally made my day....he is to funny.
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- #171
D
Deleted member 33052
This one was fun, and it made me so happy!
I was running errands today and it was sweltering outside (I drive a small, black car with no air conditioning). I was looking for a good parking spot outside one of the stores that I had to go to, and I noticed a perfect one just beside the entrance. It was completely shaded (possibly the only one that was), and there was a large and somewhat menacing-looking young First Nations man loitering in front of it, which was probably why it wasn't taken. So I pulled up and when I got out of the car, I thanked him for saving me the best parking spot! He looked dumbfounded for a couple of seconds, and then started to laugh, which made me laugh, too.
When I came back out, he was still there and had a small group of guys with him. I gave him a nod and a small smile (didn't want to embarrassed him in front of his posse), and headed to my car. Then he yelled out, "Hey, you have a good day!" I said something about him staying cool and we both laughed again.
This moment was priceless for me. Too many (TOO MANY) Caucasians are afraid approach or speak to FN people for no good reason. I find them, for the most part, appreciative and generous of spirit, and with every opportunity I'm given, I'm going to show them that I see them. As people. As equals. As brothers and sisters. As partners in the fight against racism and fear.
Feeling the love.
I wonder if this is what African-American people have to deal with. I'm betting yes, which makes me very sad.
I was running errands today and it was sweltering outside (I drive a small, black car with no air conditioning). I was looking for a good parking spot outside one of the stores that I had to go to, and I noticed a perfect one just beside the entrance. It was completely shaded (possibly the only one that was), and there was a large and somewhat menacing-looking young First Nations man loitering in front of it, which was probably why it wasn't taken. So I pulled up and when I got out of the car, I thanked him for saving me the best parking spot! He looked dumbfounded for a couple of seconds, and then started to laugh, which made me laugh, too.
When I came back out, he was still there and had a small group of guys with him. I gave him a nod and a small smile (didn't want to embarrassed him in front of his posse), and headed to my car. Then he yelled out, "Hey, you have a good day!" I said something about him staying cool and we both laughed again.
This moment was priceless for me. Too many (TOO MANY) Caucasians are afraid approach or speak to FN people for no good reason. I find them, for the most part, appreciative and generous of spirit, and with every opportunity I'm given, I'm going to show them that I see them. As people. As equals. As brothers and sisters. As partners in the fight against racism and fear.
Feeling the love.
I wonder if this is what African-American people have to deal with. I'm betting yes, which makes me very sad.
Last edited by a moderator:
- Post starter
- #172
D
Deleted member 33052
I've been feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders lately, so I'm feeling grateful for some opportunities to brighten someone else's mood.
This was such a fun act of kindness: my student, Maxime, and I were walking the dogs and picking wild blackberries to take home for the evening's dessert. After picking the berries, we came across a couple of fairly rumpled-looking little boys playing in the field that we were walking in. They wanted to pet the dogs, and as kids do, they started chatting with us. I asked Maxime if he would be mind my offering the boys some berries, and of course, he thought that was a great idea. So, the little guys ate their fill. I had to laugh because they'd eat some and then pet the dogs and then eat some more. My little cream-coloured dog had purple streaks by the time we left.
It was a perfect moment.
This was such a fun act of kindness: my student, Maxime, and I were walking the dogs and picking wild blackberries to take home for the evening's dessert. After picking the berries, we came across a couple of fairly rumpled-looking little boys playing in the field that we were walking in. They wanted to pet the dogs, and as kids do, they started chatting with us. I asked Maxime if he would be mind my offering the boys some berries, and of course, he thought that was a great idea. So, the little guys ate their fill. I had to laugh because they'd eat some and then pet the dogs and then eat some more. My little cream-coloured dog had purple streaks by the time we left.
It was a perfect moment.
- Post starter
- #173
D
Deleted member 33052
I was given a gift today. A great opportunity to help someone.
I had been grocery shopping and was pulling out of the parking lot. I was waiting for an elderly pedestrian to cross the road. She was moving really slowly and kind of holding on to a parked truck as she made her way along. I reparked my car and went over to her and asked her if she would like to take my arm. She did, and told me that she usually leaned on a shopping cart, but couldn't find a loonie to get one today.
So, once we got over to the store entrance, I left her beside the wall so that she could hold herself steady and used my loonie to get her a cart. When I brought it to her, she expressed her gratitude and asked me how she could pay me back. I told her that if the opportunity came up to pay it forward, that was much better than paying it back.
She gave me a hug and I practically floated back to my car. :'-)
Sometimes life is shit. But if I try hard enough, I can often find my way around it to the good stuff. I just wish I could remember that when I'm dissociated.
I had been grocery shopping and was pulling out of the parking lot. I was waiting for an elderly pedestrian to cross the road. She was moving really slowly and kind of holding on to a parked truck as she made her way along. I reparked my car and went over to her and asked her if she would like to take my arm. She did, and told me that she usually leaned on a shopping cart, but couldn't find a loonie to get one today.
So, once we got over to the store entrance, I left her beside the wall so that she could hold herself steady and used my loonie to get her a cart. When I brought it to her, she expressed her gratitude and asked me how she could pay me back. I told her that if the opportunity came up to pay it forward, that was much better than paying it back.
She gave me a hug and I practically floated back to my car. :'-)
Sometimes life is shit. But if I try hard enough, I can often find my way around it to the good stuff. I just wish I could remember that when I'm dissociated.
- Post starter
- #174
D
Deleted member 12723
Me too, I am glad you made this thread.:happy:
- Post starter
- #175
D
Deleted member 33052
I'm feeling kind of conflicted about this thread, or maybe about my acts of kindness. I meant for it to be about giving. I wanted a reminder of the importance of being mindful of others. But is there a line that shouldn't be crossed? When I get more (emotional) benefit from the act than the recipient does, am I using them for my own gain? When does a kind act become a selfish act?
I doubt Buddha used his good works as a form of mental masturbation.
I know, this line of thinking must sound thoroughly f*cked. I just want to understand if I'm being hypocritical. And even if I am, it's not like I will abandon my opportunities to share kindness. I just need to be more aware of my motives.
As always, I welcome input from my tribe - the only people I trust enough to float my moral dilemmas out to. But please, answer from your guts and not your heads, ok? As hard as the ego tries to provide the right answer, I have 55 years of proof that it's usually wrong.
Love you, my partners in pain and recovery!
I doubt Buddha used his good works as a form of mental masturbation.
I know, this line of thinking must sound thoroughly f*cked. I just want to understand if I'm being hypocritical. And even if I am, it's not like I will abandon my opportunities to share kindness. I just need to be more aware of my motives.
As always, I welcome input from my tribe - the only people I trust enough to float my moral dilemmas out to. But please, answer from your guts and not your heads, ok? As hard as the ego tries to provide the right answer, I have 55 years of proof that it's usually wrong.
Love you, my partners in pain and recovery!
That's the beautiful thing about acts of kindness! It feels just as good for us as to the other person, if not even better. Win win all the way around! Give and you shall receive. The good feeling rewards are immediate!
The Albatross
VIP Member
Acts of kindness benefit both the giver and the receiver...Al Jarreau - he did a song about this a long while ago that was pivotal for it's time:Al Jarreau - Random Act of Love
I also read an article about touch and interaction in both the giver and receiver of body contact and how it was beneficial for the giver and receiver even in therapeutic/spa treatment modalities. Shared it around with treatment providers and it was widely accepted but don't have the link anymore (killed that hard drive).
“For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.” ~ Ivan Panin
I also read an article about touch and interaction in both the giver and receiver of body contact and how it was beneficial for the giver and receiver even in therapeutic/spa treatment modalities. Shared it around with treatment providers and it was widely accepted but don't have the link anymore (killed that hard drive).
“For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.” ~ Ivan Panin
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- Post starter
- #178
D
Deleted member 33052
@Beans, @The Albatross you're right! I've just lost another layer of cruddy trauma residue, thanks to you!
All this time I've believed that in order to do something truly good, I had to sacrifice something! I think of my role models and the monumental sacrifices they had to make, and I thought I had to do the same. But who am I to know if Ghandi or Mandela didn't feel warm inside when performing some humanitarian act?!? Sheesh!
As a child, I was the soother in my home. I sacrificed my entire self to perform that role and keep myself safe. Even now, even after all these years of fighting back, I've been a slave to my conditioning, and I didn't even know it.
Time to dust off my game face. The bitch is back!
All this time I've believed that in order to do something truly good, I had to sacrifice something! I think of my role models and the monumental sacrifices they had to make, and I thought I had to do the same. But who am I to know if Ghandi or Mandela didn't feel warm inside when performing some humanitarian act?!? Sheesh!
As a child, I was the soother in my home. I sacrificed my entire self to perform that role and keep myself safe. Even now, even after all these years of fighting back, I've been a slave to my conditioning, and I didn't even know it.
Time to dust off my game face. The bitch is back!
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