Administrative Discharge For Not Enough Progress?

[Sideways]

I've had 2 psychologists tell me, point blank, "There's nothing else I can help you with. Bye".

It hurt like hell, and to be honest, it still kinda hurts, even though the first one would be 4 years ago now. If there's any one thing that instantly makes you feel like you're beyond help and there's no hope, it's being told "I can't/won't help you". Having referrals to doctors knocked back has had a similar impact for me.

Looking back? They were right. They actually weren't qualified enough. But more to the point, with that attitude, they definitely weren't going to be very helpful in the long run. And so now, I just remind myself "thank god I didn't waste any more time with them".

This is painful, but try and see it as an opportunity to get away from someone useless, and find someone that will actually move you forward.

Thoughts are with you.

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

@Panda Bear I've known this wasn't a good fit for a while, and known that I would need to move on before the summer, when she's leaving the practice, but thought that we would work together until then. it certainly isn't summer yet .... so, while I knew that the therapy relationship would end, I didn't think that it it would be severed this early.

Is it through a charity or treatment program that is time limited? That has happened to me before (15 sessions and I was out on the street just after I had opened up some trauma). If they feel the person isn't in a place to engage with treatment they can stop it.
Were you working with her/trying and showing up for therapy? Did she have discussions about this before?
Is she a trauma therapist and experienced dealing with complex trauma?
Is she a CBT therapist that usually works in a time limited way?
Was there any situation that involved conflict between you where she felt you overstepped your boundaries?

Time limited yes, in the sense that it could only be a year, but it's been half that time. I was working so, so hard. Never cancelled, never was late. I don't think I EVER overstepped boundaries, atleast not that I've been aware of. Never contacted her outside of session, never asked for more time, never asked questions about her ....

She does have experience with trauma, which was why she was matched with me. So, that's frusterating. I think that, perhaps, in the initial meetings, i just presented as too put together for her to realize exactly what was going on with me (constant struggle, as I'm surprisingly high-functioning despite my level of dissociation/distress).

Does she have a supervisor? Is she referring you to anyone else or any other clinics who can help more?

I've already self-refered myself. Been cheating on her with someone else, but was trying to ake sure the new therapist was a good fit before running away from the old one ....

I wanted to chime in because I know you've struggled getting in and out of therapy and I just hope so much you can find the right therapist. This person just doesn't sound qualified. I was still establishing basic trust within the first whole year, as many of us probably do. And who the f*ck cures dissociation in 6 months?

@Chava .... sad to see you go. I've always valued your experiences and opinions.

If you were trying then I greatly suspect she is one of those rigid time limited CBT therapists (that I hate).

I just read your dissociation thread. Could it be that she is stopping because she feels she doesn't have the knowledge or skill to deal with your level of dissociation rather than because you have done something wrong and haven't changed enough? In other words she feels you need different help to the help she can provide?

Yes, CBT. Terrible choice for me. I realize this now. And I think that she is starting to realize that she doesn't have the ability to do much more than contain me, as the CBT just isn't helping.

This is painful, but try and see it as an opportunity to get away from someone useless, and find someone that will actually move you forward.

I keep telling myself this, but the sting remains.

Thank you, all, for your advice and support. I appreciate it.

 

[joeylittle]

Been cheating on her with someone else, but was trying to ake sure the new therapist was a good fit before running away from the old one ....

This is good, that you have someone lined up. I don't know if you've already decided what to do, but I'd recommend going and doing that last session. Write down the questions you have, if you are worried you'll get flustered or agitated. And have a talk about her decision. It will cut down on the chances that you'll carry it forward, as a huge question mark.

I keep telling myself this, but the sting remains.

And it's fair to talk about this with her.

 

[Justmehere]

She does have experience with trauma, which was why she was matched with me.

It might be helpful to look for a T that not only has experience with trauma, but is trained in more than one trauma specific modality. Those therapists tend to weather the time it takes to really treat trauma better.

I've known this wasn't a good fit for a while, and known that I would need to move on before the summer, when she's leaving the practice, but thought that we would work together until then. it certainly isn't summer yet .... so, while I knew that the therapy relationship would end, I didn't think that it it would be severed this early.

It is especially crappy that she is terminating you when she would be leaving the practice in a month or so anyhow. It also stinks that she gave the reason that she did.

They don't teach much about terminating clients in graduate school, and they really should.