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General Adopted Daughter Diagnosed - Help Me Understand Please
- Post starter adopter
- Start date
- Status
My suggestions:
-JADE
- Have her see a therapist
- Try to make her feel safe with a nice home environment
- Try to make it seem like you care about her and that she is welcomed to talk to you
-JADE
Hi adopter. I have a 12 yr. old son with PTSD ( I am also a suffer of PTSD.)
My first suggestion to you is to read, read, read some more. Learn as much as you can. Find out what type of PTSD she has (this is important when learning to deal with children.)
At the same time, attempt to educate her about it. Is she in therapy? She will need therapy to help her learn how to cope. Children are rarely put through exposure therapy. They will instead work on coping skills. Medication may also be needed for a short time. However I caution this route as medication can cause severe depression and suicide in youths.
Create a safe environment for her to escape to when she is spinning out of control (extreme mood swings, severe anxiety etc.) My son's room is his safe room. I do not enter it unless asked and know that when he heads there he needs alone time. Help her with learning her coping skills by gently reminding her of things she can do when spinning out of control.
Have lot's of patience! I also suggest you see the therapist to learn more about it, what coping skills to help her learn and how to cope yourself.
Good luck!
bec
My first suggestion to you is to read, read, read some more. Learn as much as you can. Find out what type of PTSD she has (this is important when learning to deal with children.)
At the same time, attempt to educate her about it. Is she in therapy? She will need therapy to help her learn how to cope. Children are rarely put through exposure therapy. They will instead work on coping skills. Medication may also be needed for a short time. However I caution this route as medication can cause severe depression and suicide in youths.
Create a safe environment for her to escape to when she is spinning out of control (extreme mood swings, severe anxiety etc.) My son's room is his safe room. I do not enter it unless asked and know that when he heads there he needs alone time. Help her with learning her coping skills by gently reminding her of things she can do when spinning out of control.
Have lot's of patience! I also suggest you see the therapist to learn more about it, what coping skills to help her learn and how to cope yourself.
Good luck!
bec
- Moderator
- #4
Nicolette
Supporter Admin
Welcome to the forum adopter. Unfortunately I have no experience with children and PTSD so have little advice to offer at this stage. I wish you well in finding information and I am sure people here can help you.
It is very important to educate yourself about PTSD in order to deal with the illness. From my limited experience you have to have a lot of patience and sometimes have to learn to take a step back even if you want to do something. Unfortunately the PTSD suffer has to manage their illness and we can only support them.
Good on you for seeking advice and welcome once again.
It is very important to educate yourself about PTSD in order to deal with the illness. From my limited experience you have to have a lot of patience and sometimes have to learn to take a step back even if you want to do something. Unfortunately the PTSD suffer has to manage their illness and we can only support them.
Good on you for seeking advice and welcome once again.
Ohh that reminded me of a great point Nicolette!
Adults must manage their PTSD, children however are another ball game. As a parent you must help her learn to manage it. She is too young to be able to do so on her own and you can not do it for her. So it's kinda of like a melding of the two. Consider it a journey the two of you will take. I find the biggest thing with helping a child managing it, is to have open communication with them. Unfortunately this can be most challenging as PTSD tends to shut down communications. So talk openly and without judgment about symptoms and skills to try to cope with them, whenever the chance presents itself. You will be put in a position of reminding her of her coping skills, over and over again. It is challenging, as an adult, to remember to use coping skills while in the throws of symptoms. It becomes even more so with children. You will get sick of reminding her constantly, but keep doing it until she can do so herself. (This may take a long time!)
I don't mean to sound discouraging. It's entirely possible. My son is doing very well now, but it's taken a few years to get to this point.
bec
Adults must manage their PTSD, children however are another ball game. As a parent you must help her learn to manage it. She is too young to be able to do so on her own and you can not do it for her. So it's kinda of like a melding of the two. Consider it a journey the two of you will take. I find the biggest thing with helping a child managing it, is to have open communication with them. Unfortunately this can be most challenging as PTSD tends to shut down communications. So talk openly and without judgment about symptoms and skills to try to cope with them, whenever the chance presents itself. You will be put in a position of reminding her of her coping skills, over and over again. It is challenging, as an adult, to remember to use coping skills while in the throws of symptoms. It becomes even more so with children. You will get sick of reminding her constantly, but keep doing it until she can do so herself. (This may take a long time!)
I don't mean to sound discouraging. It's entirely possible. My son is doing very well now, but it's taken a few years to get to this point.
bec
I was diagnosed with PTSD and I am an adoptee. Yes, some may say two different things but I think my fear of abandonment, people, intimacy, etc are made even worse because of being adopted. I think everyone is totally correct about the therapy suggestions....your child AND yourself. I would also recommend everyone in the family go and I would recommend finding a very specific therapist that deals mainly with children, trauma and adoption issues. In the end they have all melted together for me because my adoptive family was extremely abusive. I probably wouldn't be on this website if my parents cared enough to even reach out for help like you are.
FightingLily
Silver Member
Just some suggestions that have worked for me and my child:
Live by a schedule: a child feels safer when they can predict what's going to happen next. If there are any deviations from the schedule, explain what will happen in chronological order.
Allow your child to have choices: Nothing makes a child feel more "in control" than to make a decision. Try it in a multiple choice format. Let the child decide on what side to have for dinner, what game to play, what shirt to wear, etc.
Live by a schedule: a child feels safer when they can predict what's going to happen next. If there are any deviations from the schedule, explain what will happen in chronological order.
Allow your child to have choices: Nothing makes a child feel more "in control" than to make a decision. Try it in a multiple choice format. Let the child decide on what side to have for dinner, what game to play, what shirt to wear, etc.
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