Adoption?

[NewDayTomorrow]

I am not sure where this goes, so I guessed to put it here.

Keep in mind as I ask this question, that I am only 22, graduating college, off to a great well-paying job of my dreams, but I do have a formal diagnosis of PTSD for medical events and a sexual abuse incident in childhood. I am kind of daydreaming about the future, trying to figure out what I want to accomplish later in life and how. Two ideas are quitting industry someday to teach high school, and having a family.

I am afraid that I am either permanently damaged and unable to be sexual at all, or I am just asexual anyways regardless of the abuse. Adoption was suggested to me as an alternate way to have a family, even as a single parent (down the road maybe 10+ years of course). Naturally, I want to work on my PTSD first and get really stable and good at handling myself before I would even think of starting a family.

My question is, does anyone here know anything about what a PTSD diagnosis means for adoption eligibility? I'm scared that the caseworker would say "you have PTSD therefore you can't adopt" and I know you have to be stable obviously but I'm scared I can never erase this psychiatric record and I'm scared I'll never be able to have a family because of it, but at the same time, I needed the diagnosis and treatment or I'd REALLY never have a family.

If anyone on here with PTSD has successfully adopted kids AFTER they were diagnosed, that would be great to know, and any advice would be helpful (I know, one thing at a time, I need to relocate and make friends and learn my job first and this is just a back-burner idea right now). Just curious.

 

[anthony]

I don't know about adoption per se, but if I were to use life insurance as an example, they only look so far back as to when you had problems with such a diagnosis being made. Being diagnosed with PTSD does not mean you have PTSD your entire life, it means PTSD is there, within you, your entire life, but not necessarily a problem, thus you may not meet diagnostic criterion for large portions of your life, if not the rest of your life, if healed existing trauma and removed your symptoms. Under that very example, you actually no longer medically have PTSD.

Which brings me back to using life insurance as an example, where you normally get asked if you've been diagnosed with, or suffered from a disorder within the last x years. I see adoption no differently, in that they cannot possibly ascertain your entire life for adoption purposes, but more a recent past portion where they're looking for stability.

If you got diagnosed with PTSD 10 years ago, had issues with it for one or two years, then no further issues, which means you technically no longer meet diagnostic criterion, which means legally you no longer have PTSD. You have a high susceptibility to it now if enduring another traumatic event, but you don't legally or technically have it if you no longer meet the criterion, and for an extended period of time.

It is only a very small percentage of actual diagnosed sufferers, around 5%, who have lifetime PTSD... meaning they will endure symptoms their entire life, enough to always, near always, meet PTSD criterion at several points within a given year.

 

[Seagreen]

I don't have the answer but I think that your having PTSD would be something taken into consideration. No differently than any other medical condition. I imagine if your symptoms were well managed and you were doing all the right things such as seeking help when needed and living a healthy life style that would make a big difference. I guess they would want to know that you are not a risk to anyone or yourself and that you are emotionally stable enough to cope raising a child, which is a very challenging job for anybody. Having a good support network of family and friends would also be important.
It is great that you are being sensible enough to start thinking about these things. That alone tells me you are on the right track.

 

[ghotiff]

Just to add an alternative...you could marry someone with kids from a prior relationship. Step parent may be just as fulfilling for you.

 

[NewDayTomorrow]

Just to add an alternative...you could marry someone with kids from a prior relationship. Step parent may be just as fulfilling for you.

Wow that's a very creative idea I hadn't thought of. There are options! I guess I'll put this worry to bed for a while, and see what happens. First things first, is to take care of myself. I forget that I won't be quite so symptomatic my entire life. I'm pretty young and new to PTSD and it seems like it will never end, but I'm glad to hear you can someday defeat the criteria.

 

[Em C.]

I'm 20 and accepted that if I want kids I have to marry someone with them or adopt. I'm not asexual (although I am sexually traumatised) and I've come to accept the fact that physically bearing children would be a super bad idea for me (somatoform disorder). You can also do surrogacy too if you want the kid to be biologically yours-- some people I know feel adopting to be an uncomfortable idea. Please don't take this as condescending or insensitive because that isnt my intention at all, but for awhile I thought I was asexual (untl about 17), and then I had an abusive boyfriend and then after that I couldnt handle sexual activity without convulsing or collapsing. It has come up since then but for the majority of the past year it hasn't been a problem. For me what helped was slow progression: so friendship, then cuddling, then kissing, etc etc. So getting used to one thing before trying something new.

Either way don't be afraid about being permanently damaged because there is always hope, and don't worry about being asexual because there is nothing wrong with that. I have an asexual friend who is in a relationship just not a sexual one. So there are options :)

 

[somerandomguy]

The problem with questions about adopting is that it's completely dependent on where you live. I see you are in the USA, so it would be up to your state or even your county.

Since you don't plan to do this anytime soon, it's really not worth investigating yet.