Adults Bully Other Adults; What Is Wrong With Me?

[lostforgottensoul]

@Mal Content i dont want to rehash plus i think a lot of it is my issue anyway.

I read and re-read certian things just to remind myself how horrible i really am...or thats the thoughts anyway...

The results that you were looking for were found in that thread!

Yes they were and i wouldnt of stopped without it, I suppose thats the paradox...post and stop but loose a lot, dont post and id likely still be doing what i didnt want to be doing to begin with.

Its not just that one, but that is the one that started it.

I dont know. This isnt my only issue today, obviously, its just one of many. Just sorta wish i could of gotten the help without the loose of good friends is all.

 

[ladee]

This is a tough one @lostforgottensoul , I would think any of us would be hurt over something so public and intentional...Sending you lots of hugs because that ignorant bunch have no idea who you are. You have made so much progress in the past few months.... there is gentle and softer feeling coming from you now. I appreciate the work it took to get here.
I am sort of in a place to not give positive feedback on this.... I am the roaring Lion today.... do you need me to go in there and let them know it is unacceptable to be an asshole???
Hopefully you will get some suggestions on how to handle this.... I know I would be hurt and wondering how to move forward with this....
They don't know you like we do.... their loss... sending hugs and letting you know, that was a reflection on THEM , not you !!

 

[scout86]

Can I throw out a different view?

I don't know if this is true of you. It's true of me. There are a lot of times when I hear people laughing and ASSUME they are laughing at me. Here's where we may be different. Most of the time, I honestly can't, accurately tell. Which kind of leaves me wandering around, second guessing myself and not trusting my own judgement, which isn't fun either. But the fact, in my case, is that I really don't KNOW. I just think I do.

The plus side of that, (and there is one) is that if I hear it with "I have no idea how they mean that." in mind, it's more ok. I can't change THEM anyway, right? Maybe it's me, maybe it's them, who knows? What I do know is they seem to not be people I want to hang out with. End of story. I don't actually have to know what's up at all.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

@NoWhereKnowWhere yeah, its all too common and not cool at all, especially for the already traumatized!

@Mal Content i missed you compassion for bullies; yes i have the same stance. On the school yard, generally they are hurting. Unsure about adults...but i do try; its just a bad time for me. Pothole...

@scout86 you are completely correct but you sort of get the two after a long time, the laughing with you and the laughing at you...especially when what you said wasnt funny and they look at each other with "OMG" faces first.

But again, usually it doesnt affect me this much, its a lot of stuff mixed it, the work thing was just the latest of many...

Actually I start writing it last night before today at work even happened.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Actually whats bothering me more and has been been for a long time now and ive just kept it in cuz i cant speak about it but its making my internal diaglog go mad "omg this is what everyone now thinks of me" and i just cant shut it up no matter how hard i try to...

 

[scout86]

omg this is what everyone now thinks of me"

You might tell your internal dialog that it may be true that SOME people think that, maybe the people you're looking at right then think that, but EVERYONE doesn't think that. And you have proof because WE don't think that.

(And, I'd like to think people are bullies because they are hurting. I think the truth is, SOME people are bullies because they're narcissists and/or psychopaths.)

 

[lostforgottensoul]

You might tell your internal dialog that it may be true that SOME people think that, maybe the people you're looking at right then think that, but EVERYONE doesn't think that. And you have proof because WE don't think that.

OMG am I trying; cuz I remember our everyone vs some convos ;) but my internal dialog wont leave me the f*ck alone. I'll correct it and then it gets louder and say "no everyone thinks you're a horrible bitch". Sigh. Its times like this that i hate, when im down and that "programmed" side seems so much stronger.

Thats why i said i feel like an ungrateful piece of shit; cuz you all just threw me the best virtual birthday party anyone could ask for and i cant even change everyone to some?

f*cking internal dialog!!:mad: Maybe this is to serve to make me more pissed off at the programming to get me to stop standing still or something?



Oh and i hit the wrong smilie and it wont erase...i think thats an android thing cuz sometimes they do and sometimes they wont and ive seen it in the help desk, so here, you also have funny looking dude! :geek: Lol, that did make me laugh! ;)

 

[lostforgottensoul]

And, I'd like to think people are bullies because they are hurting. I think the truth is, SOME people are bullies because they're narcissists and/or psychopaths.)

True that though narissists are more about im the best and dont have time doting on themselves to bully you and psycos are out planning on hurting animals or people (at least in hollywood).

Actually on the other site im on, it has all disorders on it, narissist personality disorder is one. I went in there and lurked just out of curiousity. Yeah, thats all i have to say...

 

[ladee]

So find something funny to look at on youtube or read something funny..... that will get me out of certain mind dialogue sometimes.... hugs

 

[lostforgottensoul]

They don't know you like we do.... their loss... sending hugs and letting you know, that was a reflection on THEM , not you !!

:hug:s ladee! Thank you!

Oh and the "Lion" wouldnt get past security let alone the baged in doors but thanks for the offer lol ;)

 

[lostforgottensoul]

So find something funny to look at on youtube or read something funny

Sometimes that does help. Sometimes my internal dialog wont let me or sometimes it starts right after.

Its just a funk. And it has more to do with this site than it does work.

I just need to keep saying some some some some some some some some think this...not all...maybe if i flood my internal dialog it will burst the flood gates and go on an emergency evac?

 

[Deleted member 33052]

Are you referring to people at work, or people here, lost?