Advice? Need help for managing intense dissociation. UPDATE: Is this recovery?

[Kaylove498]

It's hard to explain the numbness it feels physical but if I pinch myself I'm not actually numb because I feel the sting of the pinch.

I've come to terms that all I'm feeling is dpdr.I have seemed to improve.

I workout ever day.I go outside everyday.I get up early and go to bed early.Im back to most of my everyday life I've gone to a friend's a couple days in a row and stayed for a few hours verses just running back home or staying in bed.

I've gotten back into a routine for the most part.todag I actually took a trip in the car and in a store for over two hours.

I'm seeing progress coming out of this slowly but surely.today I walked my entire yard and yesterday I walked up and down the road by myself with out panicking or even thinking about panicking.

Ive stopped obsessing on my symptoms and Ive started to just let things happen on there own.It does get a little worse at night but I'm slowly getting better.

It's been a progress but everyday I'm getting better and seeing more clearly.

Hopefully my emotions will return soon I finally cried the other night and felt the sadness which is a big deal being that I don't feel anything usually.

Fingers crossed that I keep pulling through though.

 

[Kaylove498]

I've been doing really well in the last few weeks. I'll explain a but of things before the question.

I am now on a fairly good sleeping routine.I'm going to bed at night usually at a more normal hour.I wake up fairly early and no longer sleep during the day.

When I first wake up I go outside or sit and chat with family. Verses before i completely bed bound. I spend a good portion of my day outside and doing things.

I work out again which a month ago I wouldn't have done being that I was basically afraid of everything.

I know longer do Google searches or watch videos on dpdr.
I rarely think about existinal thoughts and when I do I give them a second to process and then I keep moving with my day.

I do still have times where things feel dreamlike but I am able to not obsess on it.

I've made huge steps today I went into a store by myself noone with me no phone noone to reassure me I just did it. I went into a second store and did it and felt a little anxious but I pushed through.

These are all huge achievements for myself.

Now to the question.

I still don't necessarily have a sense of self. I still just feel kinda blank and lack of emotions. The plus side is I'm no longer afraid. I have caught myself thinking about things like I'm just a mind and a body and is there a soul or even a purpose for me being here.

No I don't obsess on it but I do want to know will this thought leave eventually and am I closer to reconnecting with myself again?

 

[windsoar]

I have so much anger and hurt in me and I can't even feel it I know it's there but I just can't feel it and it's bothering me that I can't just let my emotions go.I don't feel mad happy sad nothing I'm just blank even though I want to cry.

Anger was a hard one for me. It was never permitted. Believed if I got angry the situation just got worse. Took a long time to express any anger in the presence of my T. Actually took long time to admit I was angry. Oddly enough, got angry at my T for saying his office was a safe place to be angry & he was fine with it.....for the umpteenth time! The only way to get in touch is to just do it. In a safe place, with a safe person who really can handle it. As the saying goes...just do it.

Any advic!

 

[TruthSeeker]

I have so much anger and hurt in me and I can't even feel it I know it's there but I just can't feel it and it's bothering me that I can't just let my emotions go.I don't feel mad happy sad nothing I'm just blank even though I want to cry.

Any advice how to get back in touch with emotions?

I started by drawing the things that I was feeling, and remembering, and the expression on my face...or the tears I couldn't shed at the time.