Advice Needed

[joeylittle]

Weighing in just a bit late to say - @Lotis, that therapist broke two fairly major ethics guidelines. It's her responsibility to make best efforts to ensure continuity of care - so even if 2 referrals would have been dead ends, she was obligated to share them.

And to fire w client without doing a final session is a breach of best practice.

I am not usually this sort of person, but I'm mad enough on your behalf that, if I could, I'd do the paperwork to report her to her state board.

If it helps at all to have it validated - she was just really, really, really shitty to you and you did not deserve one tiny bit of that.

Just ugh.

 

[Lotis]

Good for you !!! Now, do your best to let it go... picture that envelope anyway that fits your thinking. See in going away. See your feelings be free to be expressed... you have spoken... you are heard. You matter!!! Very proud of you, it takes a lot of courage to tell someone how we feel when we have not been listened to.

Thank you so much @ladee - this really made me feel better. After putting the envelope in the mailbox I had an "uh oh" moment like what did I do? I am glad I couldn't crawl into the mailbox to get it out because I just might have :eek:
But...the moment passed and I did feel proud of myself for speaking up on my behalf. I then began to think about her reading that letter (begin overly dramatic music) and crying, no sobbing thinking "what did I do to this girl"? I imagine her really feeling awful, maybe even never practicing again (doubtful) and never doing this to another patient. After some reflection, my hope for her reaction stems back to my childhood abuse. It is a reaction my abusers never had. Not one of them felt remorse or ever cried over what they did; none really do I imagine. I never got to tell them the damage they caused me. At least I got to speak up this time. I hope that makes sense. :hug:
L

 

[ladee]

It absolutely makes sense ! And you are so right, in hoping she does this to no one else. As joeylittle shared with you, nothing about what she did was ok. Not one part of it.
And you told her.. That is good work on your part to see that it also applied to your abusers. That is insightful and will help you to move forward. Please keep us updated about how you are doing in your life. This was a very important move you made. Very proud of you.... a very empowering thing for you to do.
Have no idea what her response will be... but hope you at least get an apology... if not, then that's ok too. You did what you needed to do for yourself. Sending healing hugs and applause for a job well done....

 

[Lotis]

that therapist broke two fairly major ethics guidelines.

@joeylittle I wondered the very same thing. I know that their are ethic guidelines for every medical profession and I was not sure what they were for clinical therapists. So I looked it up and found this very enlightening. I think these apply to my situation and she is definitely in breach of these guidelines.

This came from the NASW site
1.16 Termination of Services
(b) Social workers should take reasonable steps to avoid abandoning clients who are still in need of services. Social workers should withdraw services precipitously only under unusual circumstances, giving careful consideration to all factors in the situation and taking care to minimize possible adverse effects. Social workers should assist in making appropriate arrangements for continuation of services when necessary.

(e) Social workers who anticipate the termination or interruption of services to clients should notify clients promptly and seek the transfer, referral, or continuation of services in relation to the clients’ needs and preferences.

Both of the above apply in my situation.

I also found this: "If you believe a social work member of NASW is in violation of this Code of Ethics, one of your options is to file a complaint with NASW"

This brings me to another decision. Should I report her? Gosh - here we go again, this is awfully reminiscent when referring to my abuse...and should I tell. This feels so serious I mean what are the ramifications if I were to report her? Would she lose her practice? I do not know if I could report her. Writing the letter was a huge step for me and I feel really good about it. Now I just feel anxiety about reporting her. I know what she did was wrong.

If it helps at all to have it validated - she was just really, really, really shitty to you and you did not deserve one tiny bit of that.

Just ugh.

Thank you @joeylittle it always helps to be validated.

L

 

[joeylittle]

Should I report her? Gosh - here we go again, this is awfully reminiscent when referring to my abuse...and should I tell. This feels so serious I mean what are the ramifications if I were to report her? Would she lose her practice?

No, she wouldn't lose her practice - unless she's already racked up other complaints. Basically, they follow up on the claim, usually first with the claimant (you) and then with the practitioner if warranted.

In abandonment, I'm fairly sure it has to be a pattern before anything bigger than a warning happens. In cases of sexual misconduct (for example), there are more ramifications.

I'd report. If she's done this habitually, you can add your voice to the pile. If it's a first time, she can be instructed that she's not acting according to code and needs to do better in the future.

Both of those things are useful outcomes. And, yes, it might be a bit of positive change for you, to let yourself tell someone about it in that way.

The guidelines put forwards by the NASW really aren't that difficult to comply with; she should have (and could have) done better.

 

[Lotis]

Just wanted to post an update if anyone was reading or wondering. This is totally against what I would usually do because I think well who cares what I am going through or who would want an update on me?! But I am writing because I need to reach out. Also, maybe my experience will help someone else.
After writing the letter I felt a little better, after sending the letter I felt better. I went through a really difficult period being really depressed had my meds adjusted and then just took some time to grieve. I hate feelings and sitting with any type of feeling is really difficult for me because it usually just leads to hurting myself in order to cope. Anyway, for anyone wondering I never did hear back from the therapist - which was already expected and not the point of sending the letter. I did not send the letter to receive her feedback or her attention I sent the letter for myself. For the first time in my life I stood up and confronted (albeit through a letter) a person who has hurt me. I only hope that she did read the letter and truly absorbed my words. Perhaps by sending the letter she will think twice about doing this to another patient.
I do like to think that everything happens for a reason. I realize that being in therapy with this person probably would have ended in disaster and it was better that it ended now then later on. AS much as it hurts I believe I am better off not in therapy with her. SO where to go from here? I honestly do not know. I want to be in therapy and I truly want to be helped. The problem is I cannot find the help. God, I SO want to feel whole and live life. I desperately want to be OK and heal but I just do not know where to go from here. I don't know where to look for help at this point. I had already exhausted my list of therapists.
So this is where I am at. This is my update.
Thanks for reading.
L

 

[justin998]

Hi
Sounds like you have had a poor experience with the therapist concerned. Once aspect caused me to reflect further - the sense that she said you needed an 'expert', which was perhaps her way of saying she felt out of her depth. She should have been more up front about this if this was the case.

Was there anything in her qualifications or experience, or even first meeting, that gave you confidence that she could deal with your trauma's? My own experience is only a relatively small proportion of therapists can deal with complex PTSD, and this is both a dimension of training and experience. I would always look for someone trained in evidence based approaches such as CBT and EMDR, and would look at the relevant association websites for lists of therapists.

Good luck in your search for a capable therapist who will run the distance with you. regards

 

[Lotis]

Was there anything in her qualifications or experience, or even first meeting, that gave you confidence that she could deal with your trauma's?

Yes - when I had my first appointment with her she said to me that she was well trained in PTSD. She also assured me that she could handle me as a client - several times. One thing about me is that I am very hesitant to trust someone and I am very afraid that they will fall apart and not be able to handle me...so I constantly would ask her in just about every session "Are you sure you can do this?" or "Are you scared to work with me?" etc. She was really confident and unfortunately I believed her.
I started looking but I am quickly losing faith. I checked the Psychological Assoc in my area and there are a handful of qualified folks - a few I had already called in the past and they don't take insurance and some cannot take on another trauma patient.
Thanks for the response.
L