belong to live
Bronze Member
My girlfriend and I had a beautiful fun night together and enjoyed each other.The following day towards the afternoon the feelings of worthlessness turned my mood dark.She went to work that afternoon.
I had no money and have no employment currently.I was feeling low and worthless.
I felt like I was becoming a burden to others.I dropped in to see my girlfriend who works at the pub (bar) to say hello.
I was very hungry and so wanted to have a meal but I didn't want to borrow money off my girlfriend as she has already said that her family has concerns of what I can provide her.
I asked her for a glass of water as it was free and went and sat outside.I felt terrible and like I had nothing to offer.I sat for five minutes and said goodbye to her and explained I didn't have any money so I was going home and catch you later.
She said 'I'll see you when I see you'. She was busy I understood and it was just a figure of speech.
On the way home I had an emotional meltdown.I was crying and felt worthless and a burden.To me what she had said meant she had given up on me.She had asked me back to her house again and said I was welcome but I declined because I feel like I would just mope around and don't want to seen as using her.
As I was driving I had some suicidal thoughts and that drives me to even darker despair.
Then a message came through.It was my girlfriend and it read 'Sorry I didn't have much time to chat to you.Very busy'
My whole mood began to lift.I decided to give her a quick call and explained the way I was feeling.I understood she was busy and I didn't want to hang around.
What I am starting to understand is sometimes I fall in the hole and I am not sure why I am upset or feeling bad.I have started to make her aware that if I am like that it is not anything she has done or said.Not personal.
She said the moods and sadness bring her down and then all the good moments are soured.
I repeated calmly it's not anything you have said or done and it's a process of me re balancing my emotions and self.
I said 'Please don't give up on me.I love you'
She cheered me up and said she loved me.Then I drove home to my house which is an hour away.
Later I said I would like to go back to her house if she'd have me as I didn't want to be alone.
She replied of course come down and bring a smile.We had another great night and I thanked her for not giving up on me.
I had no money and have no employment currently.I was feeling low and worthless.
I felt like I was becoming a burden to others.I dropped in to see my girlfriend who works at the pub (bar) to say hello.
I was very hungry and so wanted to have a meal but I didn't want to borrow money off my girlfriend as she has already said that her family has concerns of what I can provide her.
I asked her for a glass of water as it was free and went and sat outside.I felt terrible and like I had nothing to offer.I sat for five minutes and said goodbye to her and explained I didn't have any money so I was going home and catch you later.
She said 'I'll see you when I see you'. She was busy I understood and it was just a figure of speech.
On the way home I had an emotional meltdown.I was crying and felt worthless and a burden.To me what she had said meant she had given up on me.She had asked me back to her house again and said I was welcome but I declined because I feel like I would just mope around and don't want to seen as using her.
As I was driving I had some suicidal thoughts and that drives me to even darker despair.
Then a message came through.It was my girlfriend and it read 'Sorry I didn't have much time to chat to you.Very busy'
My whole mood began to lift.I decided to give her a quick call and explained the way I was feeling.I understood she was busy and I didn't want to hang around.
What I am starting to understand is sometimes I fall in the hole and I am not sure why I am upset or feeling bad.I have started to make her aware that if I am like that it is not anything she has done or said.Not personal.
She said the moods and sadness bring her down and then all the good moments are soured.
I repeated calmly it's not anything you have said or done and it's a process of me re balancing my emotions and self.
I said 'Please don't give up on me.I love you'
She cheered me up and said she loved me.Then I drove home to my house which is an hour away.
Later I said I would like to go back to her house if she'd have me as I didn't want to be alone.
She replied of course come down and bring a smile.We had another great night and I thanked her for not giving up on me.
