Childhood When I was 6 years old I was a cosca abuser

[Anon6739]

I was 6 years old the first time I saw porn, I showed it to my friend who was a girl I knew. I convinced her to try things in the videos we saw. We didn’t outright have sex but we touched each other, I only remember this when I see certain things or hear them it’s been a couple years since I’ve thought of it I really hope she’s okay now. I’ll carry this guilt and shame until I die. I’ve had trouble with attempted suicide before but I couldn’t even remember why I was miserable then. Now I deserve it

 

[arfie]

hello anon. welcome to the forum. sorry for what brings you here but glad you are here.

in my long, confusing recovery from child sex trafficking, self-forgiveness has been my greatest challenge. at 6 years old, i already knew how to turn tricks and ENJOYED having the power to control adults with a flick of my evil tongue. i ENJOYED being shirley temple in a g-string for the amateur child pono directors. that is. . . until i discovered what kind of names and treatment society has for **girls like me**. life got way more psychotic than any 10 year old should ever know in a hurry after that discovery.

at 70, i still have days where i can't quite forgive myself for having known the ignorance of a 6 year old or the confusion of a victimized adolescent. whatcha think? do i deserve nothing but misery for the crime of having been young and dumb?

healing happens, anon. hope it happens to us. welcome aboard.

 

[Sideways]

Do you have ptsd?

 

[Anon6739]

Do you have ptsd?

I’m not sure how to tell I’m still very young

 

[Sideways]

I’m not sure how to tell I’m still very young

I was wondering if there was a reason why you brought this to a ptsd forum?

 

[Anon6739]

I was wondering if there was a reason why you brought this to a ptsd forum?

Everytime I remember it I don’t stop thinking about it for weeks, suddenly I forget it and whenever I see things that remind me of it I panic and just stop doing anything.

 

[Roland]

COCSA is sad, and terribly tragic for both children, but in my opinion it's neither child's fault. Both don't know any better. I hope you find peace and healing and maybe some therapy.