Hey there,
I just want to say reaching out is the best thing you can do. Personally it can be a battle when having arguments with your partner and getting triggered. What I have done that helps a little bit is I talked to him about my symptoms and triggers, he has put in amazing effort to understand PTSD and what I am feeling and going through to the point where he has done a joint therapy session with me so he can better understand. Anyways, when I feel like the argument will escalate and when I am feeling triggered etc or dissociated I state that and even when I want to keep on arguing or he does we both walk away, to different rooms different tasks whatever. It allows him to calm down and me to go and work on some coping techniques. Later when we both have time to think about things or be like oh that was silly we can approach it and we take turns saying in a calm and collective manner our points and why we think that we are right or whatever. Then we always make sure to acknowledge what the other person said like you said this and that but to expand on that I think this and this made me feel like this but I understand you are also feeling this. Anyways, if at any point we feel too upset again we step away and take a breather. I've told him I need our relationship to be my safe and secure area and if I view him as yelling and intimidating I can't feel that and I collapse and we won't have a constructive discussion at all. My advice, take your time heated arguments rarely end how you want them to, taking a time out to cope and focus on you and maintaining that healthy relationship is better than being right in any argument. That fight can probably wait till tempers are cooled, your mental health can't. You feeling safe and heard is a priority.
