General Advice When They Give Up

[Jim Stavros]

My friend said to me this morning she just wants to let her mind go and stop all meds and I believe treatment. She is tired of all the questions and people trying to change her, why cant she just be herself and why does she have to change is what she said to me. She also tells me she feels comfortable with me to tell me things and later on has anxiety over it b/c she is scared and confused. Any suggestions? Thank you and have a good day.

 

[amethist]

Hi Jim

If she has decided to give up meds and treatment, there is very little you can do to change her mind. She has to want to be active in everything to do it.

All you can do for now is quietly and calmly explain, that it would be better to keep going with it all if possible. If she still insists that she does stop everything, then you have to except her choices, right or wrong, they are hers to make.

But do be prepared for a crash, because stopping everything in one go, could have drastic consequences for her.

Amethist

 

[Jim Stavros]

That is what I did...TY Amethist.. I was just wondering if should do more,

 

[Tessa]

I can empathise with this frustration and confusion. Sometimes meds do more harm than good. We need to work at our own pace and sometimes we just need to stop and be silent. It might help to reassure her that she IS worthwhile for who she is now and she can only make changes if she is ready or sees they will help. Sounds like she needs a big hug right now.
Take care

 

[Jim Stavros]

I am getting a bit worried, on Friday she refused her shot, and today she said "I have to go to the Dr. to cloud my thought of truth." Can anyone give me some insight to what she might be thinking? As always thanks for the help.

 

[kimba]

Only she knows what she is thinking and she may not even be sharing it all. Unless you know she may hurt herself or someone else, you can't force her to do anything. If she has had developments happen lately she is having trouble processing or things are happening faster than she is comfortable with, she may be shutting down temporarily to give herself a break. Encourage, but don't push her to try to tell you what is going on and assure her you are there for her no matter how many times you may have already told her that. Show her somehow.

 

[Jim Stavros]

Thanks Kimba all of that makes sense (developments and moving to fast) and has happened. I would never force her to do anything, I always (to the best of my ability) try to encourage, assure, and support her. Once again always great advice in here.

 

[OKRADLAK]

Maybe she is just done with that kind of treatment. Sometimes med do not work long term.

Maybe you could suggest that it's time to move to another form of treatment. I doubt she just wants nothing ever to change. She may just be burnt out with treatment that is no longer of help

 

[Jim Stavros]

Thanks good advice, as I was thinking the same thing.

 

[Jim1965]

I don't know about your wife, but when in the middle of a PTSD episode, my wife make all kinds of wild statements. She's going to stop all counseling, never going to do this or that again, I hate _________ and on and on, but she keeps going and always seems come out of it although she insists she's never going to come out of it.

 

[Tinyflame]

Well maybe Jim1965 you help her keep trying. I say that simply because I used to think it would ~naturally improve, but 'rollercoaster' aside, -one thing is it will never stay the same, but it may get better (better choices that follow) or worse, not a 'given', really. Depends on level of health/ other factors I presume, as well.

I hope she stops her tirades, however- I recall your (other) post.
Hugs to you-