Sufferer After 18yrs I Think Therapy Isn't Going To Work...

[NovemberStar]

My understanding is that trauma lays down strong neurological pathways in the brain. Somebody with PTSD gets trapped in these pathways, creating "deep grooves" that make it hard for the brain & body to follow a different pathway. Thus the sufferer gets stuck responding to lesser events as if it was the original trauma. Over time, a person may learn to response differently, laying down new pathways. However the original deep well-worn pathways always remain in the nervous system. Apparently, under pressure, the brain and body will default to the "deep grooves" laid down by trauma & PTSD. A person without PTSD has "shallow grooves" and is able to climb out of the trauma neurological pathways much sooner and without slipping back in so easily. This explains why an adult who grew up in a traumatizing environment over an extended period of time is less likely to recover than an adult who grew up in a "good-enough" home and later suffers from a one-off trauma event.

I agree that trauma changes brain biochemistry BUT I think that can be changed for the better. Sure, it might not ever be what it would have been without the trauma, but I don't think it's necessarily an ongoing thing.

I get what you're saying about the difference between growing up with prolonged trauma versus experiencing a one off trauma BUT - I do not think that means you can't get better or have just as much chance of full healing, as the person with a 'one off' trauma. I grew up in a traumatizing environment - my mother was abusive physically, mentally and emotionally. I also witnessed her sudden death when I was 10. I then had several more years of psychological abuse via my step mother. I left home and promptly had a huge mental breakdown, and spent most of the next decade in psych care and therapy. I had Doctors etc 'encourage' me to 'go for my dreams' but one admitted years later, no one thought I would be able to - they were just appeasing me. No one thought I'd be in a place to have a normal life or do anything. But I proved them wrong.

And I had 12 years FREE of ANY PTSD symptoms. No, my life was not perfect - I still struggled with emotional intimacy, but I did not have the flashback, the dissociation, the suicidal depression. My brain was not 'stuck' in the trauma groove - it simply didn't exist for all those years.

Yes, it's back - because another huge trauma gave me PTSD for a 2nd time. As I've shared before, it wasn't the first major earthquake that triggered PTSD - I was stressed like everyone else, and 'traumatized' to a degree, but not to the point of PTSD or flashbacks. I lived in an environment where the ground did not stop shaking with ongoing aftershocks for 18 months - living in fear for months on end, its no wonder I got PTSD, given my history of living in fear as a child. Living in a 'rare earthquake aftershock sequence' you feel shakes daily for months at a time … like growing up with my mother - very unpredictable, never knowing if the 'next one' would kill you or your family or friends. But it was the second large and fatal quake that I got PTSD from. That re-set my brain back into the 'trauma groove' and its been 3 years of struggling again, with symptoms on and off. Even in the past 3 years I have gone for a few months at a time without any PTSD symptoms (no flashbacks, no dissociation, no suicidal depression).

HOWEVER - I was lucky in that I did manage to have over a decade of my brain NOT 'being in the trauma groove' - so of course I am going to be very hopeful that if it happened once, it can and will, happen again.:)

No one will ever be able to convince me PTSD can't be put into full remission. I believe we all have the ability to heal - it might take some longer than others, it might be a life long journey - but its not a race. I think with the right resources, right treatment, right form of therapy (very different for everyone!), right meds, right supports, we can all get to a place where PTSD does not rule our lives, or even feature in it.

 

[Hashi]

an adult who grew up in a traumatizing environment over an extended period of time is less likely to recover than an adult who grew up in a "good-enough" home and later suffers from a one-off trauma event.

I was traumatised throughout childhood from birth onwards, and my favourite word is neuroplasticity (the ability of the brain to change). I feel this happening more and more.

I don't think talk therapy and cognitive behavioural therapy alone are enough though. We can only do so much on a rational level because many of the issues are on the non-rational, instinctive or subconscious levels. I've also had craniosacral therapy which works directly with the body and central nervous system. I do a lot of work with imagery, because that's the language of the subconscious.

I had a physical injury a few years ago and lost the use of my thumb. According to medical knowledge and research there was no recovery. It was actually pronounced "dead". I chose not to believe this, did various things (with a lot of effort and pain along the way) and regained the use of my thumb. It's fine now. I told my doctor and the consultant, but did anyone review the research? No, it still says there's no way to recover. Someone with that injury now will be told exactly what I was told - you can't heal. And yet I just typed that with my own "dead" thumb.

So I don't bother too much when the medical profession says you can't fully heal from PTSD. But I do think it needs more than work on the rational level. I've noticed on the forum that the people who seem most positive about full recovery are those who have done a lot of work on things other than (or as well as) talk and behaviour therapies.

 

[Mercy]

I am finding EMDR done along with CBT is working to help the healing along. But the traumas that have been 'branded' in my ancient brain will always be there. Where I am in relation to some the traumas has shifted a little. I do not want to be the crazy old lady every one avoids...odd, I am agoraphobic so I guess I am avoiding them. This like a type of insider joke.:confused:

 

[Hashi]

OK, deep breath...

I'm hoping that @Mercy and anyone else won't take this in any other way than the way I mean it, which is with a good heart.

What Mercy says is.... kind of my point.

People who have had either craniosacral therapy or somatic experiencing therapy will often (usually?) say either: "Complete healing is possible" or "I'm open to the idea". People who haven't seem to tend to say, "I think I can heal from X and Y but I don't think I will ever heal from Z" or something along the lines of "I can manage things but they might flare up at some point in the future".

Just to be clear - EMDR is not a somatic therapy like craniosacral therapy or somatic experiencing. It's an exposure therapy.

I'm torn between wanting to sympathise with how different people will always use different approaches, and my belief that somatic therapy (as in craniosacral therapy or somatic experiencing) is key to trauma recovery, often in conjunction with other approaches, but that it's key.

That is all I can say.

 

[rightkindofme]

What I'm hearing is you wish people would stop using the methods that have been helpful for them up to this point and switch to your brand of magic potion because then things would just be better.

Therapies are expensive. Being able to try lots of kinds is expensive. It's a privilege not open to everyone. I'm kind of sensitive to the idea that I should be hemorrhaging thousands of dollars a month on medications, therapies, and doctors in order to stop having the physical experience I've had my *whole life*.

I have had PTSD symptoms as long as I've had memory. I don't have a lot of faith that God or Somatic Experiencing will change me so that I no longer have issues.

The ship of that belief has sailed. But I manage things and I have a pretty good life as long as I keep my balance of support stuff going.