koalaburger
Bronze Member
I binge watched the second series yesterday. It is an amazing rollercoaster of emotion but may be too triggering for those suffering grief. It has some foul language so may not appeal to all. Ricky Gervais is a genius. I cried and laughed in equal measure. I have so much grief in me I cannot go to funerals because I become too distraught. It left me with a lot to think about. I felt sad at never having felt the love he did. In fact I have never let anyone get close. I do not even know the warmth and closeness of friendship. I also grieve for the life I have missed. Never married of lived with a woman. No kids or of course grandkids. I am more and more saying to myself how broken I am. It helps me get in touch with the authentic self instead of the overbearing one that pushes people away. Myself and my therapist are amazed I have survived to 64. The survival instinct is awesome. I take comfort from a stable and comfortable flat. I love television and online scrabble and other games. I connect on twitter and have great laughs and political conversations. I live in a place where tourists pay to see because it is so beautiful. I have a voice inside that screams it hates my guts. My father was a very insecure man and projected his self loathing onto me. I have lately just identified what I am feeling and comfort myself and just try to give the abusive voice back to my father in his grave where it belongs.
