Aggression At My Own Family

[Anglesachse]

What would you have done if still serving.

I remember us getting a new Fullscrew posted in, I was just made up to LCpl, Fit as F*ck, had done P Company the year before, gone to the Gulf and just come back from NI, (he had been in the unit 3 weeks when I got back) and was due to go on to do my Commando. I was 22 and would have taken on the world single handedly and probably won (at least in "MY" BBC version, not the "Hollywood" one :cool:) rambling abit here!

Anyway this Fullscrew (4 years service and only a depot donkey untill he got posted to us), actually thought he was going to rip a strip off me, in front of about 10 guys from our unit. He actually thought I had just been posted in, and the guys are trying to tell him I am part of the fittings. "Cpl Brand? 261, has been in the unit for........", "Don`t f*ckng interupt me when I am correcting a recruit, in the correct dress to be worn in company lines!", *F*CKING RECRUIT* (admitably I was in Lightweights and a rugby top, so he couldnt see what rank I was) but *F*CKING RECRUIT* I had never met the guy, didn`t know who he was and didn`t care. I had 6 years service under my belt (w*nker)

That was it, I swung and jawed the twat. and he went down like a sack of shit. Low and behold our 2IC had just walked in behind me, and only got to see me chin this guy. Not good.

The Fullscrew, after some egging on from the 2IC, actually charged me for hitting a superior. (tosser), I went in front of the OC, got a bollocking, inbetween the OC not laughing (he was Ex Commando, and we used to go running and play rugby together) and promtly had a pain in the ass follow me for the rest ofmy time in the unit, any little thing, he would be off to the boss. "He done this today", "he has done that today" so long as the old boss man was there I had nowt to bother about, but 2 months latter the OC got posted, and our 2IC took over untill I left, and the stroppy cow, who never liked the "Green blooded Soldiers" amongst us, promtly put me on AMP duties for the rest of my time there, which led to more hassle at the hands of the RMP`s. Totally screwing my Commando course.

I have never realy figuered out if I hit him because he actaully thought he was going to teach me to suck eggs, or because he called me a "Recruit", either way things were generaly easier to deal with in the Army, because you went round the back of the Hanger and sorted it out!

But you can`t realy do that with the wife! Besides she would probably kick my ass these days :whistling:

 

[william]

That is my new Motto I think.

 

[Jimmy1]

You survived William. Hope the downward spiral did not affect you too much

 

[drabs08]

Like Abnvet said Been there done that, I feel aweful afterwards, my oldest daughter 17 wont come around anymore. My 2 boys 12 & 13 see me splinter as Jimmy calls it, seems more like I'm a Claymore mine when i explode, for stupid little crap, I used to play with them all the time, now I just dont, I'm gonna force myself to do more then just bitch at them. Because one minute were watching tv laughing the next I'm going ballistic on one of them, my fiancee boy 11 & girl 8, have seen it too, so has my fiancee, I was supposed to be married this past July, never happened, I cant live with her & her two kids, or I'd be going off all the f@$&ing time & yes I'm still festering about things the next or bring it up in arguments a week or a month later, my boys both have arnger issues bad, oldest blows up just like dad, & youngest blows up & cries, so I feel for you all. I literally am gonna try to walk away when I feel it comin, but its usually to late by point, they dont live up my military exspectations, the ranger way of life I've come to learn & wasn't perfect at myself. Ever catch yourself saying "EXCUSES GET MEN KILLED", or "suffer in silence" anyone?

So I guess were all some jacked people aren't we

 

[drabs08]

Jimmy that video sums it up

 

[Anglesachse]

"EXCUSES GET MEN KILLED",

Thats what all the drills are for Drabs, thats why you do them day in day out, SOP`s save lives, its a fact. Just that in civvie street you get looked at like you`ve got 3 heads. Its a whole different world out there.

 

[drabs08]

Right on brother Anglesachse, its so Indoctranted in us, its as if we were born with it in our heads, I dont mind teaching my kids from that life style, but I dont want to pound it into there heads, like in the Army, all tho I've taught em all how to shoot & they shoot all my weapons at our local range, its for fun, also teaches them responsibility & attention to detail, SOP's for sure, good lessons if I can drive home the point with being Screaming Nut at the same ya know.. I love these kids with all my heart as no you do yours, all of us, its tough to be a dad with ptsd. I consider myself a work in progress with the help of Jesus

 

[Ned]

I consider myself a work in progress with the help of Jesus

Now you have hit a nail square and true there. One thing, despite our anger, our problems coping, our vulnerabilities, that we are strong about, is knowing we are not perfect.
I think that's why our partners, kids, etc. once they do see it, stick with us.
They see a real, humble, grounded human. Someone who isn't up their own backside. Someone who, despite that humility, has done things most people wouldn't have a clue about.
Every now and then it's worth remembering. We've had insights that, despite the pain they bring, make us better people. No cause for pride, perhaps. But maybe take a bit of comfort.

 

[drabs08]

Right on Ned, and everyone please call me Dave, I'm blessed to have such a partner Ned, she has been a God send, & I thank God for her everyday, for all he's giving me, a roof over my head, surviving my little corner of hell, & for dying on the cross for me. Amen & Hooaah!!