I went through the same thing and sometimes still do out here on the boards. I tend to retreat when I feel overexposed in real-time and out here. It's like Recovery4Me noted, when you keep it hidden for so long, taking it out and sharing it is scary. For me, I think it's because I'm giving voice to it and acknowledging it at the same time. I found the article posted above very helpful in understanding this and not judging myself.
For me, posting and reading out here is rather like exposure therapy. I think that's been dawning on me in the past few weeks. I know even when I start to touch something trauma-based in a session, I go off the rails when I leave. It takes a few days or a week to kind of stabilize, then I go to numb and into denial. Likewise, sometimes, I have to take a break from posting as well as it makes me feel frazzled.
Also, I read your Dr. Phil post. Interesting concept. I've often thought of writing to Oprah, but she and Phil are TV personalities and at one point I saw them both do/say some questionable things when they had eating disordered guests on their shows. It kind of freaked me out. My intuition tells me not to trust them and to protect myself from the fall-out that could come from sharing so much with the public. Exposure on that scale would blast me off the planet in terms of anxiety. I think I would have to be IP'd at that point!
Hang in there and go at your own pace. As my therapist says, "You know you best." Take care. VB
