Alcohol And Cannabis Abuse

[Deleted member 34561]

Hi everyone. One of the major problems I struggle with as part of this disorder I believe I have is alcohol and cannabis abuse. It all started in my teens following being sexually abused by my older brother and his friends. I was in so much pain emotionally mentally and spiritually that I started drinking then smoking pot to numb my feelings. And to 'forget' what was happening to me (the sexual abuse didn't stop until I was `17). I am now in my late 40s and cannot get off booze or pot. I feel lost without my 2 crutches to prop me up but now I am becoming aware that if I don't address these issues head-on I will not have any chance of recovery from PTSD. Can anyone else relate? Please don't suggest AA , I have tried it in the past and en countered a pervey bloke hitting on me, practising what I now know to be 'the 13th step'. Also it sall seems a bit happy clappy and cultish to me. I am trying to recover from the brainwashing my birth family inflicted on me and don't want to replace one form of brainwashing with another. Any comments or suggestions welcome.

Cheers

Manda aka crazydiamond47

 

[ladee]

I absolutely relate to you. My addictions started at 14 yrs old, as a way to cope. I did get clean and sober at age 34. I did do it thru AA/NA, but have not been active in many years. There are many ways to get clean and sober if you already know you need to address this.
Do you have a Therapist? If not, that might be a good first step. There are many ways to address this, I do say that AA/NA is not for everyone... tho I would suggest you might try again.. one bad experience is not a reason to not try again.. then if it's not a good fit, try to find another way.
Many here have had are still struggling with addictions of all sorts.. So you will get a lot of support and suggestions. Very glad to hear you know this is a problem that needs to be addressed first. That is a huge awareness.
Hope to see you around here. A lot of very supportive people with a lot of experience...

 

[Stills]

To be honest, the only thing that stopped me from smoking weed was the fact that it started to make me hella anxious and I got intrusive flashbacks every time which was extremely uncomfortable and only intensified disorientation. I still drink, just not so heavy and in the same way. I think breaks are necessary. I think because marijuana and being too intoxicated doesn't relieve me as much as I want it to, it was easier for me to cut down. To be honest, I had to decide that I wanted to deal with everything in a 'rational manner', like it's difficult to feel emotions, but I consistently tell myself that I will do anything I need to do to get myself well. Even if that means finding another *temporary* crutch or having angry outbursts. Everything SHALL PASS. Don't focus too much on the slip ups, focus on your progress. I know it messes up your sleep pattern a bit and your emotions may be more whacked out at first. You may not need to stop cold turkey. You could limit yourself until you have no desire for it..IF that works for you. Try to remember that the more you push through, the more benefits you will gain (not just short term, but in the long run). I try to tell myself that my future self will thank me for it. Try to think of more positive outlets. I struggle with this myself, but writing really helps me. Also, when I first stopped, I bought Mandala colouring books to focus on that. I wish I had more resources for you, but I know you can and will figure it out. Best of luck. I do believe positive reassurance is key. The more you push through, the stronger you become mentally and physically. Please don't be too hard on yourself. Everyday is a new day.

 

[NoWhereKnowWhere]

This is why you get women's only AA groups for that exact reason. God you just get creepers everywhere don't you.

Yeah I agree being in therapy would help you with getting sober. I think even talking with a friend about it,someone that you could call when you need to.

Most people I know in recovery used AA to get sober but no longer attend.

 

[Deleted member 34561]

Thanks everyone. I don't have a therapist as yet, although I'm having a telephone assessment with a clinician from the local Community Mental Health team in 2 weeks time to see if I can get one. I don't have flashbacks or nightmares too often when beered up or stoned, I really only get them when I am straight and sober, that's when the demons rear their ugly heads. I honestly don't think limiting myself would work because once I take that first drink or smoke that first joint I can't stop until I'm out of it. I'm just going to have to take the plunge and stop cold turkey. Luckily I have meds that will help with withdrawals and I do have a couple of real life friends I could ring when in trouble and about to pick up. This place will help me too :) I'm not going back to AA even if I'm bloody desperate lol. Once again thanks to all of you for the imput.

Cheers

Manda aka crazydiamond47

 

[ladee]

Sending you lots of healing energy to do what you need to do. Please keep us updated and if you need anything, please let us know... I know the first few months of being clean and sober were so awful for me... then it started getting easier and better.. Hope you have your T in place when you start this part of your journey. The more support you have, the better it will be...
I had always been symptomatic with PTSD, when I stopped self medicating, the bottom fell out.. so please remember we are here for you... you are not alone..And so very proud to hear this major healing step you are taking.. showing great courage !!! gentle hugs if you accept them.

 

[The Albatross]

Look up the stats about the prognosis for co-occurring PTSD and substance abuse. (My league)... they're poor. They used to recommend that you deal with the substance abuse first... but a couple years or so ago now they recommend co-current treatment. But know what you're dealing with. I hope it goes well for you.

 

[NoWhereKnowWhere]

We do have some pretty decent mental health charity's in the uk mainly I guess because the nhs is stretched really thin. The only thing is people don't know they are there.

I'm obviously not sure what is available where ever you are but a quick google search or your G.P. Can refer you to something appropriate. I've used a charity for counselling while on a waiting list for therapy. I have to say that I was quite pleasantly surprised my expectations were low. Could be something to look into for some extra support. We need all the help we can get while trying to get on the road to recovery.