Alcohol Use

[blueangel371115]

Hello,
I use alcohol as a form of self-medication. If I get stressed I want to hurt myself so I drink to make my brain stop or make the pain stop. My parents don't understand what is going on. They think that I am whining or that I just want attention. It's a catch 22. They don't want me to drink but they think I don't need medication either. They ask me why I take it. It's hard to discuss all this with them as I can't confront the situation yet.

 

[Jade-]

I hate how I feel after I've been drinking. I feel guilty for it. I hate that I do it, especially since my dad was an alcoholic. It makes me feel like I'm down at his level.

I hate that it causes more anxiety and bad thoughts.

On the other hand, I do like how it numbs it all away, even if only for a short while.

It's such a double edged sword.

 

[Jade-]

I really think I learned my lesson about drinking this time. On Saturday I drank half a bottle of jack daniels because I was upset and depressed. I started crying and couldn't stop. Then I couldn't breathe from all the crying. Then I couldn't sleep and was having major anxiety and anxiety/panic attacks.

It was a very horrible experience. And I had to get up early for work and was still drunk when I clocked in. I could have got pulled over on my way to work or I could have lost my job over it. While I was at work, I was thinking WTF am I doing to myself.

 

[mandy0079]

I have PTSD and my doctors keep telling me I have an addiction to alcohol - which I keep denying. I wonder if I just tell them too much? I know I drink while my husband is at work as he doesn't like me drinking through the week - so this way he doesn't know - but I really don't see that a few drinks a night is that bad?? Especially when it's helping me cope!
I don't fall down drunk everyday, I don't get abusive. I don't see the problem?

 

[Jade-]

If you're drinking while your husband is at work so that he doesn't know, that's hiding it, right? If there's no problem, why hide it? I'm not judging, just asking. It's no different than me keeping my bottle hidden in my dresser drawer, or pouring it in a can of pepsi so nobody knows. Deep down we know there's a problem, otherwise we wouldn't bother hiding it from people.

 

[goingonhope]

it will work...FOR AWHILE!!!! Then it won't work anymore, and you will eventually have to face the very shit, that you are trying to drink away....Sucks, but it's the truth.....

Agreed She Cat!

....And, having to eventually face that sh't that was desperately trying to be avoided, in many cases ..it (the shit).. has multiplied problems through the dependent use or abuse of alcohol, and become additionally heartbreaking, gutwrenching more sh't to face.

Reminded this morning of a little something I haven't heard in a while: "Alcohol gave me Wings to Fly, and then It took Away the Sky."

 

[mandy0079]

If you're drinking while your husband is at work so that he doesn't know, that's hiding it, right? If there's no problem, why hide it? I'm not judging, just asking. It's no different than me keeping my bottle hidden in my dresser drawer, or pouring it in a can of pepsi so nobody knows. Deep down we know there's a problem, otherwise we wouldn't bother hiding it from people.

Yes I do agree with you Jadebear, deep down I know it's a problem. Im seriously considering taking the suggestion of my Dr and taking a month off alcohol and the fact that it scares me is probably a good indication of the fact there is a problem there... I mean, how do I cope without it? How do I feel good/numb? My Dr suggested replacing it with some exercise - hmmm fun?

 

[Jade-]

Exercise isn't much fun, but probably would be with a few friends. I'ts definitely healtheir than drinking.