All The Different Kinds Of Flashback

[Brontie]

Flashbacks for me changed over time. To begin with they were very quick, leaving me feeling anxious and not knowing why. The more aware I became of just what was going on - that they were flashbacks - the longer they lasted. Not long really. They went from what seemed like a split second to a few seconds long. I began to place things, like from childhood or other occasions where I felt pressure and stress.

It helped to understand that they were happening because my psyche, if you like, had decided that I was now strong enough to deal with the memories. But they are presented in flashes so as not to overwhelm us.

I have been quite overwhelmed by them in the past, not having enough information about them. Things are better now and I try to write a little about them, placing them where they belong. And eventually where they really belong - in the past. But it takes a lot of work. And while it's happening it can be very confusing and very frightening.

 

[Brontie]

Abstract,

All these things you mentioned...

"Emotional flashbacks are especially painful because the inner critic typically overlays them with toxic shame, inhibiting the individual from seeking comfort and support, isolating him in an overwhelming and humiliating sense of defectiveness."

The inner-critic doesn't have any more information than we do, and is just as scared and confused as we are. All those emotions of pain and shame are coming to the surface because something in you has decided that you need to process and deal with those painful events.

I hope I don't upset anyone. I know how fragile we can be.

But if I have learned anything from my crap it is that what we are dealing with now, as painful and as frightening as it can be at times, is all a part of the healing process. I wish there was an easier way. If there is, I haven't found it. But just knowing that everything I have had to cope with after the event is a part of the healing process helped me a lot. Like depression is a part of the grieving process. It can't be rushed, we have to go through it. It's all to do with being a human being. It sucks but it is a healing process that we have to go through in order to get our lives back.

 

[njray]

Question... Uh oh...This is what has happened to me while awake and just trying to do some light chore. I opened a draw at the work bench I saw the almost exact knife that I was assulted with. I freeze instantly (I think I do anyway) as like a camera very specific snip its of assault completely overwhelms me as though I am experiencing the attack all over. I can feel the immense struggle and strength I had to use to prevent the attacker from slicing my throat and I can actually see the knife being inches away.but it is weird not like a movie but just flashes but very detailed.. when I snap out of it my heart is racing and I feel drained .. flashback, nightmare or going crazy

 

[KP the nut]

I can feel the immense struggle and strength I had to use to prevent the attacker from slicing my throat and I can actually see the knife being inches away.but it is weird not like a movie but just flashes but very detailed.. when I snap out of it my heart is racing and I feel drained .. flashback, nightmare or going crazy

Definitely not crazy, IMHO, or if you are I'm crazy too and as I asked my T that very question and he replied 'no' then we are OK.

I have similar things, triggers can be anything, I had one after car trouble with a sound, I've had another whilst rubbing body lotion on my arm, where it isn't my arm as it is now but bruised and swollen as it was a year ago, in fact it still doesn't seem to be my arm.

Seeing a knife similar to the one with which you were attacked would definitely do it and it is a normal reaction for your heart to race.

I try and use techniques to ground myself, telling myself it is just a memory and that I am safe.

Take care my friend
HUGS
KP

 

[njray]

Thanks Kath...

Ok I am only guessing what I just explained is a Flashback... Now lets say I go to the workbench do not see the knife but I know this is a place one can be and I start shake, and tense up and blah blah blah but really put the thought of a knife attack into my head... not nearly as per se sharp as the flashback... It is killing me as so many things I am around associate me to the Attack....

I often just try to walk away and take some breathes but to be honest that rarely helps with the issues regarding this attack. I often have to "run away from the incident" to gain my composure. I hate running as that reminds me of other events of my life that are not pleasant.

Ok. I know we all suffer some types of trauma in our lives. Why do some of us real in disabiltating symptoms and others don't. I hate to say it I have been exposed to many tragic events. I used to be in emergency medical service and saw incredible accidents with multiple casualties, suicides and other tragic events. I worked as a contractor in the worst crack/gun infested neighborhoods seeing kids living in squawler, I have been through a horrible divorce.

Why is this F'ing event and everthing surrounding it so embedded.........

 

[njray]

I apologize for the "F" reference but frustration has set in...

 

[Brontie]

I think it has partly to do with holding onto events. Not in a bad way but in a protective way. The event caused such pain and panic that we don’t ever want to experience that again. So in some way, not a particularly comfortable way, this might be the mind and body’s way of protecting us. It might actually be alerting us to potential danger. A kind of once bitten twice shy, sort of deal. Maybe it’s another side of the coin of fight or flight. It’s unpleasant but maybe it’s useful to us. And our job is to put it into perspective regarding our own particular situation.

For me personally there are many events. A car backfiring can make me duck my head down, having heard a couple of bombs go off. And a couple arguing can bring me out in a cold sweat, remembering my parents fights. I too have a thing with sharp knives, haven’t managed to place that one yet but sharp knives and Stanley knives make my heart beat faster and bring me out in a cold sweat.

 

[Abstract]

Bronte,
Thanks for your response to me and no offense taken. I copied it off a website and like your positive take on what and why these things happen.

Your responses helped me clarify a few things.

njray,
I have similar experiences to your post 53. When I start shaking I can't stop and sometimes can't move or speak for twenty odd minutes whilst being clamped into shuddering state. It only starts with a split second flash of a memory.

I do think too for you that what traumatises us most can be very complex. Whatever it was about this incident that hit home, there is sure to be some reason for it. What affects us affects us.

Now all I need to do is let myself hear that too!

 

[ktmarie71]

I am really glad this post was started. Ive been dealiing with PTSD for a long time and getting help for it but some times things happen and I am still asking myself "WTF was that?"

One flash back I have that really distresses me is the sensation of my abuser putting lipstick on me. it was really upsetting (still upsetting but not as bad now)...I could feel the senation of the lipstick against my lips and it would make physically sick. Sometimes it just seemed to come out of nowhere; just doing normal stuff and not even really thinking about anything and then I feel it...and Im back there for a moment...and so sick and scared. Thank goodness the length of time in the flashback has decreased significantly.