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All the er stories, never forgotten.

No I won’t have access to therapy. That was part of the WCB claim which was officially killed today. I have private coverage but not enough for extensive visits. I had attempted these non-profit organizations because they do subsidize or cover therapy through contributions. My line of work doesn’t qualify for their charity scope.

So I’m dead in the water. Unfortunately.
 
I could be way off base because you have such a lot on your plate but do you have an employment agency that can help you start the process of looking for something else? Not to rush into...just kind of running in the background? I've done that in the past and found just the act of looking for alternatives relieved some of the pressure.
 
The job hunt has been ongoing - the issue I have run into is transferability of skillsets. Nothing I have done in the last four years is relevant for a complete career change with sustainable income. It all looks really cool on resume and I would be an easy sweep for any hospital or medical facility as my certifications are current and a work ethic that’s pretty solid. I have six standing offers from other security firms posted at hospitals as I write this.

I am also trying to be careful with a career flip. Because while this line of work has done quite a bit of damage, it does come with a lot of freedom in terms of that I am my own boss in most situations, there is a level of respect that comes with the job that I had come to appreciate, I love the work schedule, while scared to go back to work, I do miss the action. The closest thing I can find to match the action would be Airport. The Federal Clearance process to work at there is significant.

Lastly, the stress / trauma come from very specific events. Considering that I have dealt with hundreds of incidents of varying levels of seriousness, I have been able to push through almost of all of them. Something about these events stuck with me. Wish I could understand why and possibly work through them in a less emotionally destructive way before I try to jump ship.
 
Oh hun --- this just sucks. And I get the skills set thing - same issue when you are a dispatcher. Hard to get those skills to transfer to a normal job. Any chance you can do the first part of counseling with your insurance and then private pay? I was able to do that because my private T let me move into a sliding scale through her company after I had used up all my visits. Maybe worth a look?
 
the issue I have run into is transferability of skillsets. Nothing I have done in the last four years is relevant for a complete career change with sustainable income.

I'm with you on this, EMT skills aren't really transferable to the civie world either. Right now wcb is pressuring me to look at minimum wage secretarial positions, to which I'm being quite resistant, and it's really frustrating. I haven't spent 16 years honing my emergency and life saving skills, so that I can ride a desk.

what supports do you have in place for your RTW on Wednesday? how are you doing?
 
@brokenEMT - Awww I feel you! I’m sorry that they’re trying to throw you into that. I had a job interview for something clerical. The interviewer asked if I had first aid / cpr - I responded with yup, well practiced with an 0-4 record. Can also sight out landing zone and prep for LifeFlight if I screw up really badly.

However, I’ve been up all night in high stress. Because as foolish as this is gonna sound. I had a setback today that made me truly fearful. It’s such a stupid simple thing.

Earlier today I was in the bathroom, got ready to shower tossed my fresh clothes in front of the brand new big package of Costco Toiletpaper. When I got out of the shower, dressed, I looked at the toilet paper dispenser, it was empty, looked at the basket and cabinet where we store the toilet paper. Empty.

Once I was finished with bathroom, I drove to the store to buy toilet paper. My girlfriend had a good laugh, poking fun. Not my girlfriends fault for laughing because it was funny. I did not see that big package of toilet paper until I was back. It was in an obvious place but I did not see it.

It just made me realIze that my mind is not in the game.

I’ve been in touch with my colleagues at the hospital to get a run down on what’s been going on. We have two recurring violent patients that have been frequent flyer mode for the past month. One of which I have really violent history with.

My company has not set anything up for support. Tomorrow...... the uniform gets pulled out and ready for service.
 
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