reddevil1111
Diamond Member
hmmm. It sounded good at the moment I am sure of it. Just thank him for caring so much already!
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Alright We Need More Jokes
- Post starter Fargo1
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Raven
Diamond Member
I did commend him on his resourcefulness.
And when I saw the box, "Comfortably Numb" got stuck in my head.
And when I saw the box, "Comfortably Numb" got stuck in my head.
reddevil1111
Diamond Member
Crème De Mint liqueur works well and has the added benefit of getting drunk if you really care to know.
reddevil1111
Diamond Member
Sign me up for the pair. I have no idea how I will afford to feed either one but I am willing to try!(yeah I meant that to sound that way)
W
Wagon
Damn squids. Being a liker of the hots..... raw sugar or dairy products are the cure......heavy basic vs an acid.... just saying.
This looks like a head shop item. Brand name "pipedream"??? Wonder what for? Most likely for taking a drug which irritates the throat.
Raven
Diamond Member
I've seen it for sale in sex shops, and at Walgreens. :ROFLMAO:
'I chase him, I bite him'... the crime report written by a DOG: Officer investigated after submitting witness statement in character as animal
Police are under investigation for jokingly filling in a witness statement in the name of a force dog.
Officers became exasperated when prosecutors asked for an account of a crime from a ‘PC Peach’, not realising Peach was the name of a police dog.
So they completed the form as if it had been written by the alsatian,
Another officer took a photo of the statement and it found its way to a ‘cop humour’ page on Facebook on Friday.
The image was later deleted but the dog section of a different force, West Yorkshire, enjoyed it so much they posted the image on Twitter in a tweet that was shared more than 150 times.
The CPS, however, failed to see the funny side. Officials are believed to have complained to police that their mistake has been turned into a very public joke.
This is being considered by West Midlands Police’s Professional Standards Department and the officer who shared the picture, PC Mark Tissington, referred himself to the internal discipline unit. Sources say he is unlikely to be reprimanded.
- Prosecutors had asked for account of crime from 'PC Peach' - a dog
- Form completed as if written by Alsatian and signed with paw print
- Report pinned up at police station and shared on Twitter
- Officer behind joke referred himself to internal discipline unit
Police are under investigation for jokingly filling in a witness statement in the name of a force dog.
Officers became exasperated when prosecutors asked for an account of a crime from a ‘PC Peach’, not realising Peach was the name of a police dog.
So they completed the form as if it had been written by the alsatian,
Another officer took a photo of the statement and it found its way to a ‘cop humour’ page on Facebook on Friday.
The image was later deleted but the dog section of a different force, West Yorkshire, enjoyed it so much they posted the image on Twitter in a tweet that was shared more than 150 times.
The CPS, however, failed to see the funny side. Officials are believed to have complained to police that their mistake has been turned into a very public joke.
This is being considered by West Midlands Police’s Professional Standards Department and the officer who shared the picture, PC Mark Tissington, referred himself to the internal discipline unit. Sources say he is unlikely to be reprimanded.
Need an Oasis
Silver Member
Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States , wandering aimlessly and starving.
They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says:
"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk."
"Is, Luis, eet sure smell like bacon."
With renewed hope, they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.
There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon, every imaginable kind of cured pork.
"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved! Ees a bacon tree!"
"Luis, maybe ees a meerage?
We ees in the desert don't forget."
"Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon?
Ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree!"
With that, Luis staggers towards the tree.
He gets to within 5 yards, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock.
Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath:
"Pepe, go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!"
"Luis, Luis miamigo, what ees it?"
"Pepe ees not a bacon tree. Ees...
Ees...
Ees...
Ees...
Ees...
Ees...
Ees... a ham bush."
They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says:
"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk."
"Is, Luis, eet sure smell like bacon."
With renewed hope, they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.
There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon, every imaginable kind of cured pork.
"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved! Ees a bacon tree!"
"Luis, maybe ees a meerage?
We ees in the desert don't forget."
"Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon?
Ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree!"
With that, Luis staggers towards the tree.
He gets to within 5 yards, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock.
Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath:
"Pepe, go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!"
"Luis, Luis miamigo, what ees it?"
"Pepe ees not a bacon tree. Ees...
Ees...
Ees...
Ees...
Ees...
Ees...
Ees... a ham bush."
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