Hi OgreMagi, although I have a large social circle, the topic of PTSD is not at all understood, so it's pointless venting to friends anyway. Those I have tried with can't "see" the person I'm talking about, he is such a great actor. In the end I just come across as a whinging female, so I've given up talking to anyone about it except to one of his mates who has MANAGED PTSD. The time to chat with him is very restricted, and to be honest at the moment I need to vent EVERY day.
So I come here. This forum has so many discussions, that the answer I am seeking on any particular day is most likely to be in here somewhere. That means people here understand. That true empathy really does help. As do the facts.
Sad, angry, confused, unloved, weak, strong, philosophical...unloved....yep that one crops up the most....unloved. Yet coming here somehow brings LOGIC to an illogical situation. The most logical thing of all to remember is that we cannot change someone else, we can only change ourselves. With that realization comes a sense of control. Control means you have choices.
We as carers have needs too, and wanting to feel loved in a relationship is a normal feeling, especially for those of us with the "caring" personality type. I guess to 'hang in there' you need to change your perception of 'love actions'. Not an easy thing to do. What is 'standard' loving to you (a hug, some passion, the words I love you) is just too hard at times for someone with PTSD. As ISH pointed out, sometimes a simple 'sorry' will have to be recognized as an action that indicates love.
I know everyone says it, and it's hard to fathom how to go about it at times, but 'take care of yourself'. Part of that process is coming on to the forum to share and to vent. We're all friends here. Everyone here is honest, non-judgemental and suppportive. Both sufferers and carers. Please keep posting :-)
