Am I Dissociating?

[Chava]

also @sun seeker Yes! Lots of emptiness...has been important to develop my own interests and "find myself." I morphed myself all the time for my mom's personality and really, our personalities are nothing alike!!! I still feel empty and invisible around her (and my dad, in different ways) and this carries into other relationships. I don't get close to people. I feel more like I have a sort of core self now, but am not very okay trying to fit that into relationship contexts. Anyway, good points on distinctions between DID and complex trauma for that part.

 

[sun seeker]

Yes, she is! She's been in a Young People's Phsyc ward for about a year now! She is allowed home a couple of days a week.

I'm glad she is getting the help she needs. I hope it does help. Would you feel comfortable making an appointment with one of her therapists to see what they think about your symptoms?

The other suggestion I was going to make is there are lots of books about people with DID and they might help you see whether you can relate. The only thing is DID is caused by such extreme trauma that you might find those books triggering, and I don't know how strong you are feeling right now and wouldn't want to recommend anything that might make you worse.

 

[sun seeker]

I was referred to Adult Mental Health (here in the UK) by my family therapist and GP. Adult Mental Health said my case was far too complicated for them, and passed me on to a charity who said the same thing. I currently go to a women's abuse charity where I have 6 months of free therapy. My care worker is amazing and she has been really helping me through all this. I see her once a week :)

Oops, sorry, somehow I missed seeing this the first time. Sigh. Yes, as I said, it's super hard to get help for very complex trauma. You'd think that would be part of the required training in psychology school, but apparently not. It does exist though. Don't give up!

 

[Lolly]

I'm glad she is getting the help she needs. I hope it does help. Would you feel comfortable making an appointment with one of her therapists to see what they think about your symptoms?

That's a really good idea, I will talk to someone this week. Thanks! :)

The other suggestion I was going to make is there are lots of books about people with DID and they might help you see whether you can relate. The only thing is DID is caused by such extreme trauma that you might find those books triggering, and I don't know how strong you are feeling right now and wouldn't want to recommend anything that might make you worse.

At the moment I'm on high-alert and very easily triggered, so when I settle down I will start reading them. I am actually going on a course at the end of year about DID in hopes I could look after my sis better, maybe it'll help me too! And thank you for thinking of my triggers, that's very thoughtful of you :)

 

[Anarchy]

That said, it's not easy to get a diagnosis because even most professionals don't have much experience with it. Not that it is uncommon, because it's not, but psychiatrists are taught that it is exceedingly rare for reasons I won't go into here. It's typical for a person with DID to be misdiagnosed for years before finding a diagnosis, if they ever get one, and even harder to find a therapist who knows how to help. However, you might be luckier, could you go to whoever diagnosed your sister and ask their opinion? Is your sister getting help for her DID? I've read a little of what you have written on other threads and it sounds like you and she are going through a terrible time, and I'm really sorry about that. I hope you can both get the help you need. You don't deserve to be going through this.

I was chatting to a psychiatrist a few days back, and they were stressing that it is essential to keep questioning all assumptions. they said that was brought home to them in training, when asked to assess a patient. they'd been very diligent and reported the interview and assessment of it to their supervisors, who had replied with:

"Ok, he told you that one, depending on the day, the circumstances and the person he's giving his history too, he'll also give this one or this one. He believes all three of them are correct, but only one at a time"

They'd felt crushed by the embarrassment of the oversight, but relieved to find that everyone was given that patient to assess as a big teaching moment.

I suppose that the message there is that diagnosis is neither easy nor is it ever definitive, it's a working assumption we've got to stay open minded, but not so open minded that our brains fall out.

I'll echo Sun Seeker, neither you nor your sister deserve to be going through this.

 

[Lolly]

I suppose that the message there is that diagnosis is neither easy nor is it ever definitive, it's a working assumption we've got to stay open minded, but not so open minded that our brains fall out.

Exactly! Took a long time for my sis, Pip, to get her diagnosis. To be honest the professionals thought we were over exaggerating! But once we saw the right person, everything fell into place :)

I'll echo Sun Seeker, neither you nor your sister deserve to be going through this.

Thank you! Its nice to have people confirm that for me, I have been blamed a lot for all this but I like to think I'm a nice person :)

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I hate to break it to you, but there is no question as to whether or not you are dissociating. I say this because EVERYBODY lies somewhere on the dissociative spectrum. Normal dissociating includes daydreaming or zoning out while on a long car ride. The other end of the spectrum is someone who has severe DID. So yes, you dissociate. I think that you are minimizing your dissociation as well. No, it doesn't sound like DID, but I think it is something you should work on as you are indeed losing touch with the present moment. Dissociation is any time that you are not fully connected with the present moment, and you are definitely not fully present at times. Dissociation is a spectrum, and it is a "disorder" when it interferes with normal functioning. We can't tell you if you have DDNOS or worse, but I wouldn't say its minimal.

 

[Lolly]

I think that you are minimizing your dissociation as well. No, it doesn't sound like DID, but I think it is something you should work on as you are indeed losing touch with the present moment. Dissociation is any time that you are not fully connected with the present moment, and you are definitely not fully present at times. Dissociation is a spectrum, and it is a "disorder" when it interferes with normal functioning. We can't tell you if you have DDNOS or worse, but I wouldn't say its minimal.

Thank you! I'm definitely going to start talking about it with my therapist about it, and she what she thinks about it :)

 

[Ice_Fire]

Yeah I think you are doing the going away thing...can't spell it, but not as much as your sis. I have DID, my big didn't knwo for ages. Big hug for you and your sis.

 

[Lolly]

Yeah I think you are doing the going away thing...can't spell it, but not as much as your sis. I have DID, my big didn't knwo for ages. Big hug for you and your sis.

Thank you, hugs to you too! :hug:

 

[Ice_Fire]

Whoops! Ironic case in point there huh? Sorry...:sorry:

 

[Lolly]

Whoops! Ironic case in point there huh? Sorry...:sorry:

You have nothing to be sorry about!! Take care :hug: