I recently met the sweetest 29 year old guy at a health retreat/healing centre. He had a heart of gold and made everyone smile when they crossed his path. He initially told me he was there to help treat his depression and anxiety which he had developed from a traumatic event. I now believe he is suffering from PTSD since he told me his girlfriend took her life 6 years ago after they had an argument. It turned out she was pregnant with his baby and he did not know about this. He said her family blamed him for this and he has been suffering ever since, even planning his own end to end his pain. He could speak openly and easily to me about these things most days, however other times he'd become anxious, sweat profusely, get dizzy and then leave the room in a panic. It was mainly triggered when he would feel he was becoming close to me so had to run away.
We became extremely close during our time there, he said I made him feel normal for the first time since the event, but every 2nd day he'd retreat and avoid me before finally cutting off all communication with me through his fear of getting close to someone. He'd have his days where he would talk about our dreams, and then later in the same day he'd tell me he needed to be alone and was overwhelmed by everything. We live in different countries although he is moving to my country in 6 months so there was an opportunity for us to remain in touch given how close we became. He asked me to remain in his life before he had shut me out, making plans and dreams with me. He spoke of a future together and was excited to have me come visit his country to meet his Mother and Father. He had opened up to me about his fears and his illness which he said he had never spoken to anyone about before. He had talked about whether he would even be alive for much longer on his return home which scares me.
One thing we knew was that we knew we were meant to meet, we knew we had a connection.
He had told me how he lives a fairly solitary life, isolating himself from anyone who he starts getting close to. Since the event he has lost all of his friends through him withdrawing from social situations and this has also effected him. He wants nothing more than to be close to someone, which was me at the time, and also wanted to live "happily ever after". Very mixed messages...he even asked me to marry him in the whirlwind!
He paniced one day before we were due to spend our last weekend together. He felt he was there to heal, but had spent all his time thinking of me so he ended our time abruptly and wouldn't speak to me through fear of returning home worse than what he was when he arrived. He stayed on for a further 2 weeks by himself to focus on his healing but I've not spoken to him since.
I've contacted him since we are back in our respective homelands and he won't respond. I've tried to make him feel like I am still there for him, as he doesn't have anyone back home to open up to like he did me, yet he still won't respond. He had told me this is how he has kept himself from becoming close to people, but i didnt think that included me. I've text him a few nice messages so he knows I care and that I want to have him in my life in some way. No response...
Do I keep the messages up so he knows there is someone there to talk to or am I causing him more anxiety?
He had a dream whilst we were away, where I couldn't stop crying. He woke 3 times to the same real dream, and this also scarred him. This has been the case, I cry every day, thinking about him, how he made me feel and how he is feeling today, hoping he's not alone.
I know I've only known this person for a short time but I am very compasionate and our connection seemed so strong. If he felt so comfortable and normal with me, I hoped I could help his healing process. Or am I out of my deapth here? Any advice would be appreciated.
Cheers,
JP.
We became extremely close during our time there, he said I made him feel normal for the first time since the event, but every 2nd day he'd retreat and avoid me before finally cutting off all communication with me through his fear of getting close to someone. He'd have his days where he would talk about our dreams, and then later in the same day he'd tell me he needed to be alone and was overwhelmed by everything. We live in different countries although he is moving to my country in 6 months so there was an opportunity for us to remain in touch given how close we became. He asked me to remain in his life before he had shut me out, making plans and dreams with me. He spoke of a future together and was excited to have me come visit his country to meet his Mother and Father. He had opened up to me about his fears and his illness which he said he had never spoken to anyone about before. He had talked about whether he would even be alive for much longer on his return home which scares me.
One thing we knew was that we knew we were meant to meet, we knew we had a connection.
He had told me how he lives a fairly solitary life, isolating himself from anyone who he starts getting close to. Since the event he has lost all of his friends through him withdrawing from social situations and this has also effected him. He wants nothing more than to be close to someone, which was me at the time, and also wanted to live "happily ever after". Very mixed messages...he even asked me to marry him in the whirlwind!
He paniced one day before we were due to spend our last weekend together. He felt he was there to heal, but had spent all his time thinking of me so he ended our time abruptly and wouldn't speak to me through fear of returning home worse than what he was when he arrived. He stayed on for a further 2 weeks by himself to focus on his healing but I've not spoken to him since.
I've contacted him since we are back in our respective homelands and he won't respond. I've tried to make him feel like I am still there for him, as he doesn't have anyone back home to open up to like he did me, yet he still won't respond. He had told me this is how he has kept himself from becoming close to people, but i didnt think that included me. I've text him a few nice messages so he knows I care and that I want to have him in my life in some way. No response...
Do I keep the messages up so he knows there is someone there to talk to or am I causing him more anxiety?
He had a dream whilst we were away, where I couldn't stop crying. He woke 3 times to the same real dream, and this also scarred him. This has been the case, I cry every day, thinking about him, how he made me feel and how he is feeling today, hoping he's not alone.
I know I've only known this person for a short time but I am very compasionate and our connection seemed so strong. If he felt so comfortable and normal with me, I hoped I could help his healing process. Or am I out of my deapth here? Any advice would be appreciated.
Cheers,
JP.
