Anger. Are You An Angry Person Since Your Ptsd Started?

[Deleted member 29899]

I actually thought that anger would have a separate forum, as it's so common with PTSD.

I NEVER used to be an angry person. I can barely recognize myself anymore, glimmers of the 'real' me or the 'old' me come out once in a while but I've been replaced by this angry person.
I truly think anger and irritability or agitation comes (for some) with PTSD, as a direct result ... The trauma somehow affects us physiologically, obviously messes with our nervous system, leaves our nerves raw... (Hence the expression 'yr getting on my nerves').

When PTSD first hit HARD with me, everything was too overwhelming for me, sights, sounds, colour...and of course anything remotely irritating... Well let me rephrase that, almost everything was irritating. I couldn't listen to someone talk if the TV was on, it was like two things were screaming at me for my attention. I couldn't talk on the phone if I could hear the kids, same thing, sensory overload. I took all the brightly coloured decor and paintings out of the house. They were overloading me.

Still trying to recover now. I can handle colour again. (Thank goodness, because I'm an artist). Can't talk and drive at the same time still, still can't listen to anyone if TV or radio is on... Overload.

Has anyone else became an angry person since their PTSD? This anger and irritability has completely changed who I am. This is not me. And I HATE being this way.

So many things are like nails on a chalk board. I'm beginning to let strangers verbally have it now... I just let my words fly out...I feel like I just don't care anymore but I DO because it's socially unacceptable and also it's a horrible way to live. It's ugly to have anger inside, like a boiling pot... always waiting to come out at the slightest provocation...

I know this is from PTSD and my nervous system... It comes from the inside and flies out when I dislike external events but I cannot live with it anymore. I don't want to live with it anymore. It makes me dislike me (even more) and I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to control it one of these days. I need help with this...

What have others done for help?

 

[Weemie]

hell yea. happened on this forum yesterday and i was like, if you just so happen to want to see ptsd in action see exhibit a, wherein i lose my shit for no justifiable reason. and i go from 0 to 900. f*cking nothing. shaking and shit. over nothing. ready to rip into something, raze it down. guess that's what happens when your body adrenaline shoots up to 100 like a hammer on the strength gong over the slightest stimulus. it's the result of having a brain that just cannot handle stress in an ordinary manner.

 

[watundah]

I think I am in a slow simmer way in that my outer critic can be very grumbly and negative so it's anger kind of turned sideways. Plus things trigger me and I get more angry than necessary. My partner is also from a bad childhood so we get in "trigger loops" and can piss each other off quite successfully! That is one dynamic I would love to change.

I think what helps is soothing mechanisms like exercise, meditation, yoga, nature, even isolation and deep breathing for a few minutes. Sometimes turning on the filter when I hear myself fall into bitch.mode when I hear chronic complaining, reminding myself that this kind of behavior feeds on itself and we have to make a conscious effort to redirect it

 

[ihateusernames]

If I do have ptsd I've had it since I was at least 8. So I don't know anything else, but I absolutely lose my shit over minor things and have a really hard time with sensory overload. I always have. I was talking about this same thing with my friend who also has this problem just last night. I'm starting a new therapist next week and I convinced her to make an appointment with somebody, too. And, anyway, I had the image of an overflowing cup pop into my head during that conversation. And that- is exactly it. It wasn't until today that I remembered I had picked that concept up from this forum (search ptsd cup if you have yet to come across it). But it is such an apt description. It's exactly like I constantly carry around a near full glass of stress- and the slightest "real life" thing can cause an overflow.

 

[Deleted member 29899]

I need to know how to change or cope. I can't start meditating or doing yoga when I'm ready to jump out of my car in traffic and ask another driver 'WHO THE ****DO YOU THINK YOU ARE????". By then it's already too late to do deep breathing. Or just walking around, all day with anger inside feeling like a pot that's going to boil over if anything irks me...
People end up in jail for attacking people when they're like this and don't get help.

I wrote the city a letter the other night before bed about a service that they screwed up on my property. I was RAGEFUL. I have to re-read the letter. I'm afraid of what I'll see. I'm sure it probably reads like a letter from a raging lunatic that needs to be put away.... I'm sure I'll be horrified when I read it, I am cringing. Maybe the letter will be a wake up call to me. Maybe it'll shock me but nothing will change.

I need help but I don't know what to do.

 

[Eagle3]

Wish I knew something to tell you. I have my anger-pot on slow simmer right now. Always there, always hot, but now I have the ability to let the more mundane irks slide. Just don't go driving with me (I yell at everyone when I drive, keeps me grounded). Realized recently that the anger is always there, but some days are better than others as far as hiding it or ignoring it. Even when I'm walking around sulking in my own juices, if a friend distracts me I can put it back underground. However, I am capable of lashing out at the most inappropriate and stupid things. Its one of the issues we're working on, but its tough. Good luck finding something, I generally just let fly when its safe and apologize to any innocent victims if there were any.

 

[InvisibleSun]

My anger can get extremely bad as well and it has definitely caused problems for me..isolating and taking some time to collect myself is key when it gets real bad. Exercising also helps me tremendously. If I get angry, I just run..or do push ups until I stop wanting to punch something..

 

[Deleted member 29899]

Isolation makes mine worse.

 

[Pixielicious]

Yup...... But usually only if someone starts some sh*t with me for no reason. My kitty claws (figuratively speaking) come out instantly and I can be extremely cruel and ruthless with my words if I have a bee in my bonnet.. .. I Was Never this.... volatile, Before PTSD, but was able to rationalise everything without going straight into 'fight' mode.

I think it's because I simply won't take any shite from anyone at all now....

 

[sedna]

I have always had PTSD
The anger kicked in when I was getting better.
Have job fighting for others gives me 'permission' to let it loose.
Feels good, like scratching poison oak.
Before I was in an abyss of numbness .

I have very little restraint, its possible something bad will happen, but I can accept that.

 

[Abstract]

I've never "done" anger. And never recognised it. It was knocked out of me to some extent. It;s taken a lot of work to be able to recognise and express it. I still never loose control. Ever. Its not normal but I'm becoming better and better as I go along. Have recently acknowledged that I have always felt and expressed it but that it was only aimed at myself.

 

[Femke]

I don't know what to do for help. I haven't found a solution yet either. But I wanted to say that I recognize what you say. I used to be a positive, gentle, empathic girl. Now I am filled with anger. Anger at the people who hurt me in the past, ruminating over what happened. Anger at people for doing minor things wrong in the now. I am easily triggered by the people close to me. I wish to be different, positive and gentle again. But I have no idea how. Sorry.