Anger: How Can It Be Safe?

[The Albatross]

The correct use of anger is motivation for change. Your T is right. That would be evidence for anger being a good thing... difficulty being of course that anger of dysfunctional people is or can be dangerous. As you indicate by our experience... and as have many of us.

It is not the emotion that is the culprit... it is the dysfunction of the person and the way we interpret it... when the person is a loved one or parent... it is common to charge the threat to the emotion rather to assign responsibility to the person.

 

[mamachick]

Thanks for explaining Muse, I think I understand a bit better. I have trouble going back and remembering and sometimes I just need to think this all through as well when I read others and try to explain what I am thinking about the topic.

After reading yours, I think that the blank that was left to =abuse might be control. We all want control of some things and that is not bad. I don't like the term good and bad, but for lack of other term I can think of right now... I will use.
Some bad people want control in bad way, of things they clearly should not, which leads to abuse. (such as sociopath or narcissist )
Some good people want control of things that are unrealistic, which can also lead to abuse.-Such as a perfectionist mother who wants her children to be perfect, and in her attempt, ends up abusing verbally . (unrealistic expectations, black and white thinking, co dependents, etc, often product of environment)
Men who abuse partners often have grown up witnessing abuse and intend to not do the same, but in attempt to control environment and make everyone happy- can't cope and end up doing the same thing.

I see better what you mean by external playing into all of this.