I am new to the forum and really need some input. Back in July of this year I had a near death accident at work and sense them have been diagnosed with PTSD. I've been seeing a counselor to help with the anxiety but today was a complete meltdown. My wife and I never really have an argument until today. I know it's going to sound stupid but we argued over me calling in a lunch order and ordering a double cheeseburger instead of regular and she got mad because she was wanting to save money. All the way home she argued with me about it and when we got home she asked our son if we had ever ordered a double. This sent me over the edge and I grabbed my food and went to sit in the living room when she told me to sit in the kitchen. I walked in and told her I was tired of the sh**. She throws her sandwich to the dog and that's when it got even worse. The rage in me grew exponentially and before I knew it I threw my burger and hit her. She then takes her drink bottle and hits me in the baby maker. I can my can drink and hit her in the head. I know none of this should have happened and I'm afraid that this rage has ruined my marriage. This is the first time this has happened and I want to see if there is anything anyone can tell me to keep this from happening again and to help me save my marriage.
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Anger Turned To Violence Please Help
- Post starter bigguy
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You should definitely talk to a therapist about it. Maybe even couples therapy so you both can get help and better understand what is going on with you. Sometimes you have to walk away and bite your tongue. It's hard to do but it's worth it if it keeps you two from fighting. I hope you seek a therapist. I think it would do you more good than a counselor would. Good luck.
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Im
I'm actually seeing a psychologist about everything but haven't been able to get up with him. My wife isn't speaking to me and everything is driving me crazy. Hopefully my psychologist will get back to me but If not I already have an appointment Friday
Ed Norton
Diamond Member
I would definitely recommend couples counseling. I think that leaving the house is an overreaction and that you should never do that again. Next time, I would physically leave the house. I see that you did try to leave but you didn't go far enough for her to calm down.
I agree - couples counseling sounds helpful.
Her behavior was provocative, you made an attempt to remove yourself - not far enough or soon enough. You both escalated the physical part of it once it started. Sometimes it's hard to tell that the rage is building until it its overwhelming.
It sounds like money is a difficulty between you? This could be worked out in the counseling. It is possible to work through all this in a marriage and get to a better place.
Her behavior was provocative, you made an attempt to remove yourself - not far enough or soon enough. You both escalated the physical part of it once it started. Sometimes it's hard to tell that the rage is building until it its overwhelming.
It sounds like money is a difficulty between you? This could be worked out in the counseling. It is possible to work through all this in a marriage and get to a better place.
Let the dust settle and try to keep calm. It may take a while for you both to calm down. Once you both have, try to talk about it and mention her going with you to the psychologist. If you want it to work I recommend it.
Have you been given any guidance on grounding? That could really help. Here is a good thread that may be helpful to you. https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/how-to-control-an-anger-outburst.35835/
You can also use the search function here on the forum. Lots of good reads on coping with anger.
Have you been given any guidance on grounding? That could really help. Here is a good thread that may be helpful to you. https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/how-to-control-an-anger-outburst.35835/
You can also use the search function here on the forum. Lots of good reads on coping with anger.
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nursenurse
Diamond Member
Okay, maybe I am not reading this correctly, but it would change my response. Did you hit her with the burger, or did you toss the burger and hit her with your hands?
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- #11
The burger and the can I've never hit her with my hands before and hope to God I can get this resolved to where I don't want to
She was...well, acting like an asshole.
If she is going to do stuff like that, you need to get yourself away from her immediately. It's too dangerous to stay and be needled into exploding. Just get out.
You do not deserve to deal with a partner who just wants to verbally take a crap on you, as opposed to building a solution. So go away until she calms down.
For her own part, she seems like she needs some therapy. I mean, she picked a fight over what, maybe $2 for an extra burger patty? Really?
Somehow I suspect it was NOT just about that burger patty. There's some other underlying anxiety issue that the burger was a stalking-horse for. She may or may not realize that.
...That's my suspicion based on the crap I pulled in my marriage to my ex. I was VERY anxious about money. My ex was controlling. This combo produced the Stupid Argument Of The Day. One or the other of us was always operating with a lit tampon fuse.
If she is going to do stuff like that, you need to get yourself away from her immediately. It's too dangerous to stay and be needled into exploding. Just get out.
You do not deserve to deal with a partner who just wants to verbally take a crap on you, as opposed to building a solution. So go away until she calms down.
For her own part, she seems like she needs some therapy. I mean, she picked a fight over what, maybe $2 for an extra burger patty? Really?
Somehow I suspect it was NOT just about that burger patty. There's some other underlying anxiety issue that the burger was a stalking-horse for. She may or may not realize that.
...That's my suspicion based on the crap I pulled in my marriage to my ex. I was VERY anxious about money. My ex was controlling. This combo produced the Stupid Argument Of The Day. One or the other of us was always operating with a lit tampon fuse.
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