I'm sorry to hear about this. Is there anyway that you can try and detach from the whole thing? Not dissociate, but detach as if you were viewing it on television and don't know your brother, other than he is just a random person?
If you were able to do this, it doesn't make you a bad person or it doesn't mean that you don't care about your brother or the outcome. It means that you are trying to take care of your own mental health. (Because no matter how much you feel sick over this you can't change or control the end result).
One thing I've been learning to do that has helped me so much is "NOT" take on other people's pain and drama. I was such a sponge when it came to other people's pain, and it causes ulcers.
There is a difference between providing moral support for your brother, as opposed to actually putting yourself into your brother's shoes and feeling his pain. You can do one without the other.
It's not healthy to take on other people's pain because we all know we have enough of our own to deal with.
I hope this makes sense because when someone told me about it I had no clue what they were trying to convey.
Take care
Tammy
