Annoyed and I haven't even had the intake yet

[Justmehere]

I have an intake coming up, and I'm already annoyed. It's a clinic that does all telehealth or home health. (Therapists that come to your home? 0.o) Basically I called and they picked someone for me in their practice. They picked a woman and I wanted to try a guy therapist. Oh well. Telehealth isn't ideal, but I don't want to deal with any in-person ones right now. I'm too burned out searching for one and too spooked to do in-person intakes at the moment... so maybe this is a good thing for right now. I googled and the one they picked had a few decades of experience in a lot of settings, is CBT and EMDR trained. She also does home therapy for geriatric dementia patients.

My goals for therapy right now are:

1.) Find a safe human to talk to about current life stressors.
2.) If/when I need and I am ready to do trauma work or sort out other supports, I would like to have someone in my corner to help sort that out. Which probably needs to happen sooner than later.
3.) Strategies to handle a co-morbid disorder (no information if she has any experience with it, they said I could ask at the intake.)

My goals feel too silly, except for #3. I don't want to do any trauma work. Just not in the place to do it. I'm not sure it's possible to avoid it coming up, but I'm sure going to try. What I really need is probably something different though. I have a lot of super high symptoms at the moment. I'm also annoyed about all of it, and I'm not sure why.

Should I go through with this intake? It will cost me nothing to do it, but I don't think it's what I need... but maybe it would turn out to be good enough?

 

[Skywatcher]

I’d try it.

 

[piratelady]

If it won’t cost anything, you have nothing to lose really.

 

[siniang]

but I don't think it's what I need...

Oftentimes the things we don't think we need are exactly what we need.

I'd give it at least a try. Nothing to lose except maybe some time.

 

[blackemerald1]

I don't think any of goals are silly and yeah I do think it would be worthwhile giving her a go. I'm glad you've got this option since other avenues are not available for one reason or another right now.

Good luck.

 

[LuckiLee]

I'm not sure what is involved in an "intake" but can you turn it around? Where you are "interviewing" them to see if they are a good fit for you. I know Friday always interviews her potential therapists.

Good luck and I hope it works out for you!

 

[Ronin]

(Therapists that come to your home? 0.o)

Totally getting thats not your gig & needs right now etc, just saying, had that for a time in a transitional period... and it didnt suck / I felt I can control more at my home, than their offices.

3.) Strategies to handle a co-morbid disorder (no information if she has any experience with it, they said I could ask at the intake.)

Does that need to be the same person / can you have two Ts, for two disorders?

I'm not sure what is involved in an "intake" but can you turn it around?

Very much this.
That decision is yours, even if the whole interview becomes a mess.
If nothing else, you got a final say on this.

 

[Justmehere]

No intake forms. No disclosure. Video link sent minutes before the session. I decided to proceed with LOTS of caution anyhow.

She started off by stating her name and that she deals with "thinking problems" and proceeded to misspell and mispronounce my really easy name MANY TIMES and then demanded to know my income... I am not judging, I am shitty with spelling. But then she demanded my exact income. Not a range. Demanded to know the quality of my living space, not like if it is safe or not, but like if it a condo or apartment and she wanted to know the square footage. She wanted to know the first names of my parents. I was clear that I wasn't going to give her their names. That was unacceptable. I told her no. I held the boundary. She asked me why. "I just met you." She kept moving her computer and walking around with it and leaving the screen entirely. I stopped her demographics questioning, asked to tell her my goals for therapy, read #1 above... and then she asked about something that led to me mention a volunteer commitment. She asked when I started volunteering. I explained, "About a decade ago."
Therapist: "What exact year?"
Me: "2009"
Therapist: "Do you know what month?"
Me: "No, I do not know. Why does this matter?"
Therapist: "I am doing an assessment. Why don't you remember when?"
Me: "Because it was 10 years ago,"
Therapist: "Why don't you remember? Why are you refusing to give this information?"
Me: "I am not refusing, I do not recall." (At this point, I was close to quitting and texting the practice manager who told me to stick it out to switch to someone else.)
Therapist: "What is the reason you do not remember?"
Me: "I didn't bring my resume today."
Therapist: "I can see you are frustrated. Did you drink any alcohol today? Street drugs? Is that why you are refusing to answer?"
Me: "No. I told you before, I have no history or current addiction to any substance and no, I don't drink."
Therapist: "Can you find the information about when you started volunteering for (xyz)?"
Me: "No. I'm not going to discuss this further."
Therapist: "Why not?"
Me: "Because I don't want to spend time on this."
Therapist: "Why is that?"
Me: "I said no."
Therapist: "What is the cause of your memory problem?"
Me: "I said no to discussing this further."
Therapist: "Why?"
Me: "You are not discussing my symptoms, goals for therapy, or who you even are.... or your training or anything... What about even asking me my symptoms?"
Therapist: "Well I don't need to ask. I can see you have a real problem with irritability."

WTF?!?! The practice manager kept texting to tell me to complete the session and then he would help find someone else. FINE.

I told her that being "grilled with questions is a trigger."
Therapist: "I am not grilling you."
Me: "It is my opinion you are grilling me with rapid-fire questions. When I choose to not answer or say I do not know, you continue to stay stuck on that minute subject grill me much like a lawyer or adversarial reporter."
Therapist: "I AM NOT GRILLING YOU."
Me: "You are allowed to your opinion, I am allowed to have mine."
Therapist: "I AM NOT GRILLING YOU. You are wrong."

I took a 10-minute break at that point. She objected. I put the camera on mute and called the practice manager, who said to finish the intake and he would help me find someone else.

At one point, I think I got a tour of her whole house as she walked around. Weird. For part of the session she sat at a table and behind her was a wall of crosses. Maybe 20 of them. I follow Christ, not a fan of American Christian culture much (at all), and faith is a complicated thing for me... but ya know, I noticed the wall of crosses, and uh, I swear now and then... And I swore in the session. (Clutch your pearls now!) At about 31 minutes in, I said fairly softly, "f**k!" It wasn't on purpose, it just is what I said.

And then the lecture started. "I will not have you use that language."

Sigh.

At about 10 minutes left I shut her down. I told her NO MORE. I just started talking about what I was looking for in a therapist and why. She tried to interrupt. I kept talking... why? I wanted to just fill up the time and get to the end and be done. She ended up deciding she could do what I wanted in therapy (oh really?!?) and wants to see me twice a week. NOPE. What the heck is wrong with all the therapists with my insurance? They are terrible. Is it me? It's probably both them and me. The disclosure forms were sent after the session.

I apparently need a therapist that is ok with cursing now and then.

 

[Ronin]

I apparently need a therapist that is ok with cursing now and then.

Borrow mine, JMH.

& f*ck those you had, altogether.

Someone is being very classy, here, swearing at her just *once*. Because, holy ducks that is some insanity you deal with so regularly.

 

[Teasel]

Extraordinary behaviour!

 

[Justmehere]

I'm glad I went through with it. I would have been wondering and possibly regretting not doing it. I'm also glad it was on telehealth. I kept the video to be able to review and evaluate my own behavior... I am still baffled. "IM NOT GRILLING YOU." I almost giggled at that point. I'm glad I'm learning to not take it so seriously. Hold it more loosely.

Also... I crossed her off my list. Next.

 

[siniang]

ugh! wow.