Another question about a situation with my boyfriend

[JulietteRising]

Before I go into what happened last night, I was to say I have cPTSD (which is familiar diagnosis in the forums) and my boyfriend has Asperger's Syndrome. Here is a quick link that give a brief explanation as to what it means to have Aspergers. The hidden disability, Aspergers If you have ASpergers or ASD, please read I'd love your perspective.

Last night my boyfriend was playing a video game and I was watching him stream, I was the only viewer. We were laughing as he was playing the game and I am not sure how the subject came up, I said at one point I had wanted and seriously considered being a nun. He said laughing, "What? Yeah I bet you'd be all over the priest." I asked him what did he mean. "He responded, "You love the cock too much not to go after the priest." And started laughing even harder. I was hurt that he'd think this so I said "He's a priest so no I wouldn't". I was thinking so he thinks I need the penis and cannot live without it. So I tried to show I would not do that that I only have eyes for him by saying, "Well there is only one [penis] I'd ever want?" He said, "Yeah I know mine, right?" I thought he sounded like he was very conceited and arrogant about it. So I remained quiet. Then he started laughing. I tried to deny it and he started laughing harder.

So I thought I would ask a question and see if he would say something like 'well, there is only one nun I'd like to make love to also. So I said, "Ok then, let's say you're a priest, then I bet you'd be f***ing every nun there." He said "Hell yeah, I would." I was quiet and I think he realized it bothered me but then said, "Of course, I would. Intimacy is a nice way to connect with other people. And it feels good." So I remain quiet, and mute my mic. This kinda hurt me. The reason why it did is because he told me when we met that due to his Asperger's and how he is about sex, he can only have sex with someone he feels emotionally connected to. If this is the case, why would he say that.

Am I overreacting again? I was told on another post I was probably overeacting.I was hoping someone could give me some insight into this situation. Hopefully someone with ASperger's or ASD will read this and respond. I'd really appreciate it.

 

[Deleted member 541]

He has Aspergers you have PTSD. He probably has no impulse control and just blurted it out and went off with it from there. You have PTSD and are probably sensitive.

 

[Gs172003]

He sounds like a charmer :/

 

[JulietteRising]

I honestly do not know if this relationship is going to work out. I've been reading about people in relationships/marriages with someone with Aspergers. A lot of women have noticed over time they become less important. It's great in the beginning but then the honeymoon is over. On Feb 11th, I was reliving the trauma of being raped at knife point. He never asked how I was doing despite me saying I was crying and needed him. Anytime I tried to bring up the subject of what I was dealing with (I have another annivesary coming in March) he would change the subject to some game he was playing. I asked him later on why did he not even ask how I was feeling when I said I was crying. He said he thought if I wanted to talk about it then I would bring it up. To me, I did bring it up.

When we have a disagreement about something, it is usually my fault. I do not know if I can be in a relationship with someone who can not admit when they are wrong. It's always something I said, or did, or misunderstood. With the cPTSD, I am already dealing with shame and guilt about things I know were not my fault, things I could not control then. I do not think it is fair for him to blame me.

I am thinking of ending the relationship today. I'm going to try and talk to him about how everything is affecting our relationship. In my eyes, he should be happy because I feel I am the only one trying to keep communication open. I'm getting very tired, mentally and emotionally. He said he would stand by me through my going back to therapy for the PTSD to get a handle on it. I don't know how he is going to do that because what we've experienced so far is just the beginning. I know how therapy is going to get and how I will be triggered. I don't know if he wants to deal with that. Not really. he said he's in it for the long haul and wants to marry me and have kids.

I don't know what to do

 

[Deleted member 541]

Ummmmmyou do realize that people with Asperger’s syndrome have issues with expressing emotions??????

 

[Fadeaway]

Anytime I tried to bring up the subject of what I was dealing with (I have another annivesary coming in March) he would change the subject to some game he was playing.

That is a pretty normal aspie response to something distressing from what I understand.

It's great in the beginning but then the honeymoon is over.

That is typical of most relationship and is common reason some people hope from one relationship to the next.