News Another Teen Suicide Due To Bullying...

[Orglethorp]

My sister brought this story to my attention the other day.

Amanda Todd, a 15 year old (would have been 16 next month) from Maple Ridge & Coquitlam, BC, Canada, committed suicide on Wednesday October 10th. On September 6th she uploaded a video to YouTube where she told her story on flashcards, and asked for someone to be her friend.

I won't link to the video, because it's likely to be taken down due to the bullies continuing to post hateful comments, but you can search it if you want.

To summarize:
In 7th grade, Amanda and her friends started chatting on webcam with friends and with strangers. I'm guessing they probably used Chat Roulette or something similar, from the sound of her story. She started getting compliments from strangers about how pretty and cute she was. When someone asked her to flash, she thought nothing of it and did.

In 8th grade, a stranger contacted her saying that if she didn't "put on a show" that a screenshot of that flashing incident would be shared. He knew all of her contact information. Over Christmas break in December, police came to her house at 4AM. A topless photo of her from the year before had been sent to every single friend, family member, teacher and classmate in Amanda's life. She was judged for it. She lost all of her friends and endured bullying. She developed anxiety and depression. She experimented with drugs. She switched schools.

In 9th grade, at a new school, things were going well. She had made new friends. She was moving on. The internet stalker made a facebook page with her topless photo featured as the profile picture and invited all of the students at her new school. The bullying happened all over again. Amanda moved schools.

At her new school, she kept to herself. She ate lunch in the library. Things were going "well" despite her new outlook on finding friends. A boy from her past contacted her and said he liked her. He was luring her into a trap. He had a girlfriend. He set her up and then exposed her. He, his girlfriend, and many of her school mates were then involved in beating her up. When teachers came to break up the fight, she ran to hide and lay in a ditch. Her father found her and brought her home, where she then tried to kill herself by drinking bleach. Luckily her father got her to the hospital in time. Sadly, she was now being told by her classmates to try it again. Drink bleach again. Try a different brand.

Amanda moved cities. She couldn't bring herself to leave the house. She couldn't go to school. She shared her story on YouTube and still her peers were telling her that she deserved to die.

On Wednesday, she did.



I'm disgusted. This is just half an hour's drive from the high school I graduated from 6 years ago. There are always bullies, yes, but enough that three high schools of kids turned against this poor girl? This would not have happened in my high school. Even if some bullies were teasing her, far more would have protected her. My own group of friends self identified as the social outcasts of the school, and many of us were subject to bullying, but we stood up for each other. Is it really possible that things have changed so much in 6 years that this one poor girl couldn't find a safe group like mine in 3 schools?

What were the teachers doing? More importantly, why wasn't anyone doing anything about the stalker with the photo?

If our justice system actually worked the way it's supposed to, then this person is guilty of possessing and distributing child pornography on top of the regular stalking issues.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

My heart just breaks over this story. i was outcasted and shunned in high school and then later on in a toxic community group. It devastated both me and my family. I have since moved away and am just now rebuilding my life after living here for a year and a hald.

I hate when this happens to kids. They are so precious and oh so vulnerable. The amount of people involved in bullying this girl boggles my mind. Bullying is getting worse. So many victims who have to try to recover and buld a new life. Just heartbreaking. Thanks for sharing. It makes me sick. I wish society would wise up to the effects of this.

 

[sunnyd]

I also have been deeply upset by this story, a friend of mine has it posted on facebook where everyone now is giving the girl sympathy on hearing the story.

As a mother of two teenage girls, who own laptops I a have been suffering from issues for years worrying about what they harm they could get into while they battled with me to use there laptops at all hours in there rooms. I have tried it all with them over the years from banning, restricting, spying, hacking etc.

One of my daughters was bullied at school and ended up fighting with several groups that set out to take her on with me requiring medication when she came home from school while the other daughter told me about the hundreds of comments about her sister and videos of fights. I can't tell you the strain it was. It ended with the headmaster and myself agreeing that it wasn't safe for my daughter to go to school for her and others safety. That was the best thing for both her and me. She has since moved on to college and has grown into a confident, independent young woman:)


I can't believe it as the next school year is 4 months in, my youngest daughter shows me similar bullying where nasty comments from lots and lots comment, ganging up on one girl. This is repeated with different groups of girls and different girls being bullied. It is so nasty if a adult had to work in this conditions a doctor would sign them off with stress, yet these kids are expected to go into school:( or find another school (where as in the Amanda story) the social media all can link. Im so glad I wasn't at school in this era, I am finding it difficult to hear about let alone experience.

I know parents have to work and perhaps not aware of what there children are doing. But as some of these cases I have mentioned have been reported to the police and charges brought, the parents must be informed...

I can only have peace in the thought Amanda's pain is over but am so distressed thinking of what has happened

 

[Tessa]

This story makes me so sad. I have endured bullying to the point of suicide and still it continues.
I cared for a young Aboriginal man this week who took a lethal overdose due to text bullying.
We must stand together in support for each other.

 

[Privateer]

I've seen the video. Wish I'd seen it earlier. I mean, if all she wanted was somebody to talk to, you know? I know of a few people her age she might have got on pretty well with, albeit online.

 

[Philippa]

It's a sad story...and unfortunately, not an uncommon one these days. Bullies seem to be springing up at an even more alarming rate, and the anonymity of the internet means they can say whatever they want, and hide in their cowardly selves.

The internet can be so seductive, and people think that it's harmless to just do one little thing that seems like fun at the time, and then someone uses it against them. It's so dangerous. Kids are like Hyena's.

I feel very powerless to stop bullying.

 

[Shellbell]

This is a very sad story and bullying amongst teenagers in particular is certainly on the increase, along with depression and suicide as a result. So so sad.

It is human nature to want to 'belong' and the internet and social networking provides sense of belonging to a group for teenagers, but they are unable pyschologically to deal with the bullying and provoking that goes on with it. And yes they are like hyena's.

Something I am already working on with my 10 year old, even though he doesn't have access to internet or social media yet. Never too soon to start.

 

[Rumors]

What a sad, tragic story. To think, all she wanted was to be loved. Isn't that what we all want? At her age, all she should feel is love. I am sad that the schools didn't step in to help this girl and she kept relocating to reinvent herself. She was a beautiful girl.

 

[piratelady]

I guess what I don't understand is, do the parents not have any control over their children (I mean the parents of the bullies). Someone has to be able to teach the children what sort of harm they are causing.

 

[Jen93]

I watched the video. :( Shouldn't have. It's unrealistic to say that bullying is going to stop; what schools should be doing though instead of having those anti-bullying assemblies that don't help is start having assemblies about cyber-bullying. Think before you post something online on your Facebook wall, think before you send a picture of yourself to someone-it can be seen by ANYONE and spreads faster electronically. The whole anonymity of it too... The bullies could remain completely anonymous through text... Even if they are anonymous kids still need to know that it's wrong and that they don't have to associate with people like that and it can be stopped (well if you're in a GOOD school...) by telling an adult.

 

[Orglethorp]

Someone has to be able to teach the children what sort of harm they are causing.

Absolutely agreed! I heard a wonderful story not too long ago about how a teacher was teaching her class of primary students about the effects of bullying. This'll be paraphrased because I don't remember word-for-word, but here's what this woman did:

The teacher asked the kids to take out a piece of paper. She told them to scrunch it up, pack it into a hard ball and make sure it got as wrinkled as possible. Now stomp on it, she told them. Rip it a little. Make it messy. When the kids had done this, she said unfold it. Smooth it out as well as you can. When they had done this, she told them to tell the paper that they were sorry. Then she said now look at the paper. Do you see the wrinkles and the rips? Do you see dirt? These are scars. That paper will never be smooth again. Saying sorry didn't make it better. Then she told them that when they bully each other, the child being bullied is like that piece of paper.

 

[NarcSis]

Things like this always make me ask, what kind of society have we become that we allow these things to happen and place the blame on others? This is just as much my fault as it is yours, as it is the parents raising these children, the teachers teaching them and the people who walk by on the street. It takes a village to raise a child - this means a common responsibility for how they behave and conduct themselves in society. When did we stop taking shared responsibility for how children turn out? When did we stop feeling it was our responsibility to speak up when we see a child doing something "against society" in public?

I'm just as much to blame - I fear the backlash if I yell at the kid across the street when he throws a ball at a passing car, or if he rides his bike without a helmet - I should not because if his parents aren't there to see this behaviour, then it will continue, or escalate. We are raising these children, we are enabling them, it has to stop.
Sorry, angry rant there.