piratelady
VIP Member
Yesterday was not a good day at work. Well, the whole week was bad. My co-worker, who I share job duties with, was on vacation all last week. Another person who has been helping us train our new people took Thursday and Friday off. All of their work fell on me, in addition to my other duties.
On Thursday we had a meeting and in the meeting my boss told all of us that if we are over-whelmed to speak up and she would see what she could do. So, mid-afternoon I realized that I would not be able to get everything done in the 10 hours I was already working. I was beginning to feel overwhelmed. I said something to her. She looked at me and walked away. She offered no assistance. When it kept getting worse I broke down and started crying. My boss saw me cry and got mad.
I apologized to her. I went home Thursday and brainstormed on some solutions to the craziness at work. I asked for a meeting to go over them with her and get her approval to implement them. She told me that the problem is not the work it is me. That I "carry a lot of anxiety with me" and that if I want to move into a management position I can never let anyone see me get upset, ever. That when I cried I lost the respect of everyone. It is unacceptable and better not happen again.
I really feel like it's personal. In August, my boss was on vacation and I was left in charge. Her boss complimented me and told me that I act like a leader, am doing a great job, etc etc. I mistakenly told my boss this. My boss and her boss do not get along at all. I should not have said anything to her about the compliments I received. After I told her that she gave me a lecture about keeping my ambition in check and not changing. I let it go, then this week I get this speech.
I held it together at work for the rest of the day. When I got home I started crying uncontrollably. What if my PTSD and my inability to control my emotions will keep me from moving forward at work. I am a very ambitious person, I cannot be stagnant. I don't know what I'll do. Aside from this, the speech she gave me about never showing my emotions, it is the same thing I was always told growing up. If I ever cried I was told to "dry it up." I feel like a failure for letting my emotions out.
I just don't know what to do or how to keep everything under control.
On Thursday we had a meeting and in the meeting my boss told all of us that if we are over-whelmed to speak up and she would see what she could do. So, mid-afternoon I realized that I would not be able to get everything done in the 10 hours I was already working. I was beginning to feel overwhelmed. I said something to her. She looked at me and walked away. She offered no assistance. When it kept getting worse I broke down and started crying. My boss saw me cry and got mad.
I apologized to her. I went home Thursday and brainstormed on some solutions to the craziness at work. I asked for a meeting to go over them with her and get her approval to implement them. She told me that the problem is not the work it is me. That I "carry a lot of anxiety with me" and that if I want to move into a management position I can never let anyone see me get upset, ever. That when I cried I lost the respect of everyone. It is unacceptable and better not happen again.
I really feel like it's personal. In August, my boss was on vacation and I was left in charge. Her boss complimented me and told me that I act like a leader, am doing a great job, etc etc. I mistakenly told my boss this. My boss and her boss do not get along at all. I should not have said anything to her about the compliments I received. After I told her that she gave me a lecture about keeping my ambition in check and not changing. I let it go, then this week I get this speech.
I held it together at work for the rest of the day. When I got home I started crying uncontrollably. What if my PTSD and my inability to control my emotions will keep me from moving forward at work. I am a very ambitious person, I cannot be stagnant. I don't know what I'll do. Aside from this, the speech she gave me about never showing my emotions, it is the same thing I was always told growing up. If I ever cried I was told to "dry it up." I feel like a failure for letting my emotions out.
I just don't know what to do or how to keep everything under control.
