Anxiety/Fear when thinking about work

[willhealeventually]

@BlueBerry6999 mental health has been an issue for me since 11. I went through many issues and saw therapists on and off. It got so bad that I was hospitalized twice and even went through eletroshock therapy (which is actually worse than it sounds because it helped for a bit.) Without help I was suicidal on and off.
I also got discouraged. However, I really wanted to get better - if not for myself then for my kids. I live them so much. So I persisted in finding the right therapist over time. With the ptsd diagnosis, everything fell into place for me. I’m in my 50s - so please don’t wait as long as I did. My life, I’ll actually say, is starting to make sense now and I’m seeing a way through. I wish you well

 

[BlueBerry6999]

@BlueBerry6999 mental health has been an issue for me since 11. I went through many issues and saw therapists on and off. It got so bad that I was hospitalized twice and even went through eletroshock therapy (which is actually worse than it sounds because it helped for a bit.) Without help I was suicidal on and off.
I also got discouraged. However, I really wanted to get better - if not for myself then for my kids. I live them so much. So I persisted in finding the right therapist over time. With the ptsd diagnosis, everything fell into place for me. I’m in my 50s - so please don’t wait as long as I did. My life, I’ll actually say, is starting to make sense now and I’m seeing a way through. I wish you well

Wow... that sounds really tough. I'm glad you're doing better now and you found somebody who helps you.
You are right of course, I don't have to stick with the first therapist I'll find. I'll do my best. Thank you!

 

[BlueBerry6999]

I got fired today... my anxiety just got me fired

 

[willhealeventually]

I got fired today... my anxiety just got me fired

What happened???

 

[BlueBerry6999]

What happened???

I don't even really know... I had two weeks of vacation and today was the first day. My boss sat me down and handed me the notice without much of a comment. He just said that "he didn't feel it" and that he thinks I'm not resilient enough.

The thing is that he really triggered my anxiety by being impatient and snapping at me and it ended with me barely being able to look him in the eyes.
Otherwise, I did well, my co-workers were surprised that he fired me and said they liked me and don't understand his decision.

 

[willhealeventually]

I don't even really know... I had two weeks of vacation and today was the first day. My boss sat me down and handed me the notice without much of a comment. He just said that "he didn't feel it" and that he thinks I'm not resilient enough.

The thing is that he really triggered my anxiety by being impatient and snapping at me and it ended with me barely being able to look him in the eyes.
Otherwise, I did well, my co-workers were surprised that he fired me and said they liked me and don't understand his decision.

I am so sorry that happened. I am not even sure what “resilient enough” means - how much resilience does this job require?
I’ve experienced being fired by surprise... it’s a pretty terrible feeling and hits all the self-worth buttons. At least in my case, I felt like I was good for nothing.
But I would pull myself up after crying for awhile and get back out there. I think that’s all anyone can do. Sometimes we try hard to fit into a place where we don’t fit. I had to leave teaching because I just couldn’t fit into that grindmill.. But of course I spent 5 years trying and thinking less of myself.
Hang in there and please don’t draw big conclusions about yourself. As soon as you are ready, start looking for something else.

 

[BlueBerry6999]

I am so sorry that happened. I am not even sure what “resilient enough” means - how much resilience does this job require?
I’ve experienced being fired by surprise... it’s a pretty terrible feeling and hits all the self-worth buttons. At least in my case, I felt like I was good for nothing.
But I would pull myself up after crying for awhile and get back out there. I think that’s all anyone can do. Sometimes we try hard to fit into a place where we don’t fit. I had to leave teaching because I just couldn’t fit into that grindmill.. But of course I spent 5 years trying and thinking less of myself.
Hang in there and please don’t draw big conclusions about yourself. As soon as you are ready, start looking for something else.

Thank you <3

I don't really know how to translate my job into English... I'm an administrative in an office that pays taxes and does the accounting of other firms or people.
Apparently, fall is going to be a stressful season. It's not work that pressures me though, it's feeling other people's bad mood- especially if it's the boss.
I almost cried today because of him, he really seems to hate me. It's weird, because everyone in the team is really nice to me- even his son, who is going to inherit the company.
I'm counting the days now until I'm free of that boss, I really hope he won't do too much damage in the remaining six days...

Wow, teaching... I respect you for even trying that. Probably one of the hardest jobs in the world! And students can be real bullies too...

I just feel like that whole society with its impossible standards is like a grindmill and many sensitive people just can't deal with it.
Today I just felt the urge to run off again, emigrate somewhere and do something simple like barkeeping