Anxiety Has Taken Over..

[dosomethinggreat]

Im not sure ive been THIS bad in a long time.. everything is riding on my shoulders; and i think ive crashed. My families well being depends on my ability to tackle problems and gain employment, but i just cant.. the overwhelming anxiety and stress has me avoiding everything. Time with the only friend i kept around is even getting to be too much. im avoiding any interviews i have gotten. If im in public i am always on alert and hoping no one will speak to me.. headphones on, go away... the only people i seem to stand are my children.. i know what threw me into this state, but how do i recover..? If i dont gain employment soon my family will get evicted.. it seems so simple, why am i not at my interview today? I dont even know other than i just cant. I have family coming in tomorrow; havent even prepared.. will they see how off i am? What do i say about unemployment? What do i say to the outings i cant afford? What do i say to everything else...? I should be happy and excited. What the hell is wrong with me being so selfish to think my feelings even matter? Just do it.. Im supposed to be able to do it all; and now what do i do? Sit around having panic attacks, manicly searching the web for a cure. Great.. :/

 

[Glenn R.]

dosomethinggreat: I hear where you're coming from. Anxiety has always been an all-powerful, overwhelming emotion that has stopped me in my tracks over and over again. Perhaps it's time to tell your family the truth. What do you have to lose. My family and I were always estranged, but if I was suffering from a paralyzing condition, they would help out. There's nothing wrong asking for help.

I had to retire years ago and go on disability because I no longer had what it took to work. I realize your family's security is at risk, but hiding it from them isn't going to make you any more capable of finding and holding down a job.

 

[Intrepid]

I get to move in a few months, and I get to go onn interviews. After a lot of recovery I think I'm ready. But it's been a long recovery. I have left jobs because I couldn't interview for better positions at the same company. It's awful to be stuck like that.

I hate it when life goes on and I can't keep up. Lately I've been trying to pace myself. I know that intellectually I can run for miles, but that means leaving my emotional self behind.

I have to look at everything, yes, everything that triggers my anxiety. For a long time that meant endless notes about my environment, what I saw, how I felt about it. Now, the hard work has paid off.

But that's me. With the help of a therapist you can probably start on the path where anxiety happens less and less. I know you might already have a therapist. But if not, it might be time to seek one out. There's an agency near where I live where interns provide free or very cheep therapy. That place saved me for years from total breakdown. The help wasn't terrific, but it was great not to be alone with my anxiety.

 

[ragdoll]

I'm sorry I have no words of wisdom. However, reading your post had me thinking "Did I write this?". I too feel the same way. You're not alone. Xx